18/07/2025
Have you ever faced a situation where you got criticized over something you may already be struggling with? It could be a character trait, the way you handled a particular situation, a decision you made, etc.
✍️ How did the criticism make you feel? Did it make you defensive? Did it cause you to beat yourself up?
Let me begin by pointing out something. If you faced criticism or rejection from a young age and have not put in the work to heal, it is especially difficult to handle criticism because it pokes unhealed emotional wounds. Criticism acts as a trigger. You might not be in control of the way you react.
Getting triggered by criticism is unfortunate because we all can learn a lot from criticism (both positive and negative criticism). We may not learn from destructive criticism since its intention is to hurt (you may be familiar with those people who throw punches about the shape of your nose, your height, the color of your skin, how you got terminated at work or lost money, the way your mom, dad or sibling died, etc.)
It is important to keep in mind the fact that as long as we are alive and breathing, we shall be criticized. Unhealed emotional wounds bleed when one is criticized and that can punch a dent on your self esteem, which may already be fragile as a result of damage inflicted in childhood.
So, how best do you handle criticism? First and foremost is developing the capacity to listen to critics with an open mind because you can learn something from them.
🧘You may need to learn relaxation exercises because if you fail to calm yourself down, the fight-flight-freeze-fawn impulse will kick in and you will lose control, probably end up lashing out at the other party or storming out then feeling bad about it afterwards.
You need to learn how to speak to yourself at such moments "it is okay... I am safe... I can learn something from this... Every conversation is a learning experience..."
🤠It is only if you can calm yourself down that you will be able to learn from criticism and grow. Not all criticism is intended to hurt you. Some of it is like an extra set of eyes, illuminating parts of you that you are not able to see.
🎯 Learn from criticism and become a better person. You will fail sometimes so practice forgiving yourself when that happens. Mistakes are not fatal. Things won't fall in place in a day. Keep practicing. Keep strengthening your muscles. 💪 You will get better gradually.
