Re-Wire with Angie

22/09/2022

The second part of the first video is here guys.

(Promise better audio next time 😬)

+ Do we have dating skills?
+ We don’t date adequately enough
+ Trying to escape loneliness we end up in relationships that deplete us
+ We MUST date with Main Character energy !
+ Take your time to know people

20/09/2022

Who guided us about relationships? Who taught us about what it means to be in relationship? Have you come to the realisation and awareness like I did that it might have been done better?

Guys, this is my first video on this platform and am pretty excited to connect this way with you. 🙂

25/08/2022

Growing up, people who were loud or talkative (like me) were often punished for it. Maybe it was by being a permanent member of the noisemakers list or being told passive aggressive comments by the adults near you that filled you with shame about your kiherehere or in my native tongue muhahi. Quiet children somehow never got into trouble. Maybe they were silent because they had learned quickly that it was better to keep your thoughts, opinions and desires to yourself. Children were to be seen and not heard.

And then guess what. We became experts at not voicing our needs, concerns, desires. And then now get angry because somehow others do not meet our expectations.

There’s no relationship without communication. A key component of all coaching sessions with my clients includes working with people on how improve communication with others, advocate for themselves, learn to actively listen and most importantly learn how to resolve issues that are usually not being addressed.

23/08/2022

We were so ill prepared for relationships growing up. Personally, my ideas of a romantic relationship were a mash up of Mexican telenovelas, seedy romance novels (my generation’s were Mills and Boon and Silhouette series) plus of course unrealistic love songs that promised a great love full of untold torment to the heart, rescuing by a knight in shining armour and of course what was love without the promise of one day being swept off my feet?

In most African homes, we rarely caught a glimpse of romantic tender love between our parents. That was kept behind closed doors. So we were left with fantasyland as our go to sources of ideas of what love meant. And my goodness, those telenovelas and romance books should have been banned! Or at least come with a warning – not suitable for persons of ANY AGE. I kid you not, those things were terrible teachers. When you're little it's not just entertainment.

And then we naively walked into adulthood and encountered our first heartbreaks. Adult sh*t no one prepares you for. Damn this love hurts! It hurt us so bad that we not only had to nurse our wounded souls, but we realised that everything we believed was a lie. In Nairobi terms, a scam. Character development.

And from here we scattered into different directions. Some went to heal and do the inner work, some chose to close themselves off and nurse the wound, others chose anger and vengeance and others choose not to learn the lessons and love keeps hurting and hurting like hell.

If you listen to the chatter about relationships that goes on in our friends’ circles, in the media, online, it looks like relationships are in some sort of crisis. Its like the apocalypse is here. And doom and gloom is upon us. And yes, relationships are evolving. We do not want the same script from our parents. Everything has changed!

But is gloom the full picture? There is a Swahili saying that goes along the lines that empty vessels make the most noise. Are we listening to empty vessels?
What is our story? Has the ink dried up on the pages of our story? Can anything change? Do we want to change? Coaching is nothing new. We have all coached ourselves to be better at something, we just didn’t think it was coaching. We can learn how to relate better.

We can unlearn those patterns and behaviours that do not serve our relational interests. We can grow in our relationship skills. We can also learn to leave situations that harm us by identifying and aligning with what we need as individuals.

See you on the next post.
Warmly,
Angie

(Picture for beauty and attention ☺️)

06/08/2022

Hello and WELCOME to this page 😊

Let me introduce myself. I am Angie Kagume a Relationships and Dating Coach who loves nothing more than sharing stories and experiences with people in the hope of being part of humanity that creates a healthier happier planet. I am also a mother and have been married for eleven years to the most interesting and amazing man I have ever met, and I met him on another continent no less - in India! I have shared many stories of cross cultural experiences in my personal page (Anjana Kagume). Anjana is the Hindu name I acquired upon my marriage.

I’ve been coaching and training individuals and teams exclusively for the last seven years. My focus has been working with team leaders to create work environments where individuals thrive. I have also coached individuals in transitioning from their workplaces to better opportunities that are more fulfilling.

I’ll use this page to focus on dating and relationships, which is my passion. I have found that our personal relationships determine all other spheres of our lives. I will share about my own story, my struggles, my BIG mistakes, and ultimately the tools and resources that I found along the way that continue to contribute to my wellbeing and of those who I have coached in the last seven years.

The actual practice of being in relationship is not something we are taught growing up. Most of us pick up habits, behaviours and attitudes based on what we’ve seen and how our environment has impacted us.

Majority of us, me included, are carrying unworked and unresolved issues that prevent us from having the relationships we dream about. And here is where I want to make the big distinction between COACHING and THERAPY.

This is a coaching page. Coaching helps you achieve your desired goals. We are going to focus on the things you can implement to get the FUTURE you want in your relationships. Therapy, which I am a huge advocate for, helps us heal from our PAST. Therapy also helps with management and treatment of mental illnesses, which coaching does not. I will therefore use this page to help individuals achieve their personal relationship goals and desired behavioural outcomes.

We are going to rely on relationship science. I am a big proponent of researched psychology data. We will explore human behaviour and what we can do to effect the change that we want in our own lives.

I'm also never far from spirituality--because ultimately relationships are sacred, mysterious, and a journey. Last, I draw from all the conversations I have had with people wherever I go. I am grateful for the stories entrusted to me. Let's grow.

Karibu sana.

Warmly,

Angie Kagume

06/08/2022