06/04/2026
The consequences of unfaced and unsettled emotions.
Disclaimer: Long post.
Last week, I went for a full medical check up. Liver, kidneys, heart, blood sugars, blood pressure, infections… everything was checked.
Everything came back clean.
For a 40 year old baby girl, I am healthy. I have been feeling healthy. It was confirmed — I am healthy.
And yet…
For the past few weeks, I have been consistent. My black coffee, white coffee and I daily work outs— I have shown up. Clean diet. Herbal teas. My morning routine — sea moss gel, baobab powder, kombucha, collagen — I have not skipped. I have intentionally kept alcohol away.
I have done everything by the book.
But life has been happening.
Work has been intense. Building structures and systems has not been easy. Accepting loopholes in several departments. Hiring and firing. Transitition takes alot you know? Travels across the country has been constant. And my relationships… my relationships have been tested.
Since June last year, I have experienced deep heart stubbing betrayal in layers. From friends. From acquaintances. From people I chose genuinely. From people I invested in. Even from family....
The pain kept coming.
And somewhere along the way… I went numb. January 2026, I was completely numb with pain.
I did not sit with my emotions because everything was happening so fast. It was bumper to bumper, literally. Life needed to go on anyway, child needed to study, my followers needed content, my clients needed my expertise...I did not get to sit and process the pain. I did not speak what needed to be spoken. I carried it all. Quietly. Heavily.
My body kept record.
Between June 2025 and April 2026, I have gained 12kgs.
Not because I don’t know what to do.
Not because I am not disciplined.
But because I refused or rather I was not intentional about facing what I was carrying.
Last week, that truth met me.
During the check up, I met a beautiful girl as my doctor. We ended up having some deep conversation that turned into something deeper. We spoke about rock bottoms. She shared her current rock bottom. I held space for her. And then she held space for mine. This morning when she checked on me, I was so light. I had become vulnarable with her and she with me. Now we are healing each other.
What happened during our conversation last week? She named it for me. All along I knew it but I was ignoring it.
The anger.
The frustration.
The pain.
The unresolved emotions I had been sitting with for almost a year.
I could no longer run.
For those who are spiritually aware, this will make sense — immediately after our conversation with the doc last week, I was hit with a very serious flu that forced me to stop and sit with no one else but myself.
For 4 days, I have sat with myself.
As the world reflected on the crucifixion of Jesus, I found myself crucifying the pain I had been carrying like a crown.
Facing it. Feeling it. Releasing it.
And my body responded. This morning, 4kgs were gone....
This is what I am saying:
1. Health is holistic. You can do everything right physically and still be unwell emotionally. This is what we are taught at Institute of Functional and Naturopathic Health Practice - IFNHP (by the way May intake is ongoing 0750621563.)
2. The body keeps the score. It does not forget what you refuse to face. The body is very honest.
3. Even the teacher walks the journey. We live what we teach. Yes, I am not a super human. I too go through it all. This makes my teachings personal and not experimental. That is why when you come to me with weight problems, I do not rush to recommend products. The Rejuvenating Nature's Beam (www.rnb.co.ke) products only help someone who have done the inner work of identifying the root cause.
4. Do not be quick to judge weight gain or loss. You do not know the story behind it. Be kind, sometimes one just needs some love and kindness to move past the handle.
5. Seek help. You are not meant to carry everything alone.
To my people who have held me up the past months — my white coffee, my black coffee, my colleagues who have stood in so faithfully and fiercely, my godi godi godi bestie who hugs me so tight when I need that bear hug, my spiritual director, and my baby — thank you for holding me. For praying with me. For standing in when I could not. For loving me loudly and gently at the same time.
You have been my strength.
And now, to you reading this:
If you have been carrying pain you have not faced…
If you have been strong for too long…
If you have been doing everything right but still feel off… even if you have been stress eating, coping with stress through alcohol or whatever ways you feel you have failed you.....
Pause.
Sit with yourself.
Be honest about what hurts.
Say the things you have been avoiding.
Feel what you have been suppressing.
Your body is not fighting you. It is speaking to you.
Listen.
Give yourself permission to heal.
Give yourself permission to feel.
Give yourself permission to start again.
You don’t have to carry it all anymore.
With love,
Carol Your Health Coach aka
Tata wa MĂşrio.
