Joyce Wachira Speaks, Grief Literacy & Compassionate Leadership

17/02/2024

We live in a broken world. Therefore, there will be so much grief from the loss of things: health, relationships, life, career, business, trust, etc

Having an increase in grief knowledge is a great way to identify the appropriate support for those in grief and therefore be the hands that help avoid complicated grief from the grieving process such as depression.

Are you still using the words like,
“get over it”
“It is well”
“Please forget and move on”
you may be silencing a griever with these words. You may just be sending them into depression. Get yourself some grief literacy and heal the world.

13/02/2024

21/12/2023

🎄
This season. There is HOPE. There are better days ahead.
In this space, we know some are thinking that the season should be erased from the calendar.

Why? Because, loss, grief & holidays have always been difficult. Sometimes anticipation of a holiday can be more challenging than the day itself. The thought of that empty chair at the Christmas lunch table is overwhelming. The thought that you can’t give them or receive a gift from them is painful.

The thought that you have to care for a terminally ill loved one this season is overwhelming. Everyone else is celebrating and enjoying - you are stuck in this grief work.

Give yourself permission to skip situations or environments that you don’t feel ready to handle – but also don’t isolate yourself for long.
Be compassionate to yourself. Your NO should be NO. Don’t say YES to please those around you.

Make plans to take care of YOU. You can do it! step aside and give YOU attention.

14/12/2023

After any loss, your life is NOT over. Your life is NOT useless.

You can live a full life. You are useful in your family and community

Your pain does not annul your ability to create an impact or live your life purposes. You are capable of pursuing your life goals.

When we are OPEN to work on our grief, we come to a place of wanting to move forward and live a full life of purpose. We move toward HEALING and hope through this pathway.

When we CLOSE ourselves from grieving or running away from the pain of loss, the truth inside is that we feel like our lights are turned off and believe they will never come on. The feeling that the world has lost color and its beauty brings hopelessness. We start some unhealthy coping habits. We move towards DEPRESSION & ISOLATION through this pathway.

What is your choice? Close IN or Let OUT?

13/12/2023

It is very common for parents to avoid talking about grief or death to their child. This way, we think we are protecting them from hurt. if only we took the time to learn about children and grief.

A child has no words or understanding of what they feel after the loss of a sibling/loved one. They may ask age-appropriate questions (according to their understanding of death and loss). This is not the time to lie to them or share explanations that don’t make sense to them.

When a child asks questions, please do not make them feel like they are asking something horrible. Their loved one was not a horrible “thing”. Children want a conversation about their loved ones, they do not want their sibling/father/mother forgotten.

For example,
1. Where is my sister?
If this is your answer, God took your sister: Don’t be surprised if they hate this God.
2. Why don’t we have our father here?
If your answer is, Don’t ask such questions again: Children are magical thinkers, they may fill gaps and think that their father was a very bad person and he had to go away.
3. Where is my mother?
If this is your answer, She is asleep and not coming back: Don’t be surprised if they fear going to bed/to sleep.

Sign up for the upcoming workshop (see comments section for details) in February 2024. Come with questions and receive some sibling grief literacy from a Certified Child Life Specialist.

We must Speak to bring healing to children and families.

07/12/2023

When normal and healthy is turned abnormal and unhealthy,
We Speak to bring healing to many. That is the assignment

01/12/2023

When we think of grief we usually think of "after loss".

Take a minute and think about aging parents, a terminally ill family member/sibling/child, or a fresh terminal illness diagnosis. What are the emotions experienced here?

We can grieve someone who is still alive. How is that?
It is called anticipatory grief.

It comes out as frustration, anxiety, anger, guilt, blame, hopelessness, sadness:

If you are honest with yourself, you will know that you are anticipating the loss of the one you love.

Those feelings must be identified, and processed to help you cope, continue to be present for them, and not avoid your feelings.

Let’s process those feelings.
kenyachapter@thetearsfoundation.org