Nimo's digest

27/01/2024

Now,this my story.I am 23 years old,but for the last four years,I've gone through what most can consider as impossible for someone so young."
Part 1.
2019.
I had gone to live with my uncle's family in Langata after completing my K.C.S.E the previous year.Once I had received my results,my boyfriend decided to break up with me,saying..that he needed 'Time for himself'.
It was really a sad January,since he had just ended our 2 year relationship.2 extra years was from when we knew each other.That was in form one,August,2015.Intriguing how I remember details.I thank my Maths teacher.
My uncle comforted me by telling me that it's not the end of the world and truly,it wasn't.I was just 18.60 more years to live my life..if assuming I would live the average lifespan of my dear Africans.I enrolled in driving school and I failed the test.I did not know how to reverse a manual car.My dad's money was wasted but it was compensated in a few years.
Later,joined a hospitality school in Lavington.I loved the ambience and everything to do with it.The teachers were a bit tough but I had no problem with that since I knew it was bettering my skills.I was really smart,would top in most subjects if not all.That's when I made a decision I could skive (skip) classes.I used to skip,every Friday and some other weekdays.I was even surprised that my class attendance was 82%,above the required which was 75%.
Where was I spending my Fridays you ask?
With hookups I used to meet on a dating app.My bodycount went from like 1 to 30 that year.
They were mostly from Nairobi so I had no problem with maneuvering around.
One of them,led me to be searched by D.C.I as I had had since I texted my aunt that I was 'lost'but in the real sense I was with a stranger I had never met in his bedsitter.I stayed for the night,gazing upon the stars,trying to shift my focus to something else.That night I did not sleep well,because I knew,once I stepped foot on that house(uncle's house)it would be the death of me.I finally went home,the next day and just i had thought and believed,scorning and shouts at me.But I deserved it,in retrospect.
Being the only child,another family is taking care of you and you suddenly disappear?
Especially with food that is meant for a ruracio..😬
Days passed,weeks..I think I stopped meeting up with hookups since my devices were taken after the ordeal.I got a new number but I remembered some friends numbers including one who became my boyfriend later on that year.
He was one hell of a guy that one.
So my stay ended,when I came home pretty late and my aunt was pregnant.You understand the stress she was under and emotions.
I was from this guy's place.
So my aunt had me packing the following day and that affected me for some reason.
For some reason,I felt out of place in that home.
Probably maybe that's why I could go out with anyone I could come across.
So,i was on my way to Nyeri.I had left by 8:30,but I really needed someone to talk to for how I was feeling,especially that morning.
Why couldn't I just be telling my relatives where I am..or how late I'm going to be?
Because that was the only issue..
They didn't have a problem with me staying late,or at someone's..they had a problem with me not saying how late,I was going to be,where I am.
Communication..that was what my uncle kept on emphasizing.
So,just around ..I went to this guy friend of mine..to his place of work,it was a shop..with my packed bag and luggage and stayed there for two hours.
We did not do anything..I just sat there..he kept on talking about his life and I listened.
For two hours.
It felt nice,
So I was in c.b.d at around 12..
Or 11,can't remember very well.
But what I do remember is staying in a matatu for going to Nyeri,for two hours and I kid you not,waiting for just 2 passengers because the last 2 came minutes apart.I went home and arrived at 4 on the dot.
I remember walking really slowly towards home to let time fly..since I felt really ashamed going back home.
The next year was a roller coaster,from the first few minutes after midnight..and follow the next part to know why.

05/09/2023

Times have changed,so should everyone.

Children truly are a piece of work yes but I don't think traditionally, as far as our culture is concerned, it's wrong to say that women were left to take care of their children on their own. If a woman had given birth other women would come to her aid and help her with breastfeeding and looking after the child to easen the load so you can at least make the claim that traditionally we have an understanding of the burdens that come with child rearing and we made attempts to mitigate that problem and I think we did a decent job if not a good job in that regard.

And then came religious missionaries and colonialism who and which introduced new cultural practices, ideas and rituals that would sometimes conflict with our ancestor's initial belief systems that had survived the test of time prior to the missionaries, explorers and colonial administrators making contact with us. And so there's a transition from the old ways into the new ways that are more relevant to the current state of the world and we haven't been transitioning too well though we're trying and so in the process some values become lost to the coming generations. Men aren't taught about the role of the mother and its uniqueness and what that brings to the table and at the same time they're not taught about what role they have to play in the mother's life being the father to her child or children which is to maximize on what you're more adapted to psychologically and/or biologically to help easen the burden on the mother of your children because women are most vulnerable when they're pregnant or taking care of an infant who is dependent on her.
So no,when you tell a woman to do her work in this era, understand that's it's no easy task especially now we don't have many reliable people to leave our kids.
You expect her,to do your laundry..hers,the kids..mop the house,do the dishes,do everything to do with the kids and husband.. manage her emotions..all on a daily basis.
When do you rest?
Everyday after work.. maybe at 5pm,on the weekends and on holidays..
When does she check out?
Never..

30/08/2023

Get children when your entities are stable.

Now,in this economic crisis we are facing today, it's good for you to be vigilant.Don't just do things blindly because you're body is telling you to.
In ancient times, you'd do things and be like... there's surplus of this,no need to save...
Get kids, but only the ones you can provide for...let them not be your retirement plan.That is just being selfish.
You bring a child into this world,not because they asked for it but because you want them to...Because you love them.You'd like to share the happiness and the joys that come in this world.
If there are sad times,help them tackle situations for them to be stronger and maybe even share the happiness that comes from struggle.
There's already trouble in the world.
Don't be your child's trouble at home.
Times are changing, change with them.
There's a reason why children are the way that they are.
They are curious...flail their arms every time..
Have terrible tantrums that you can't even manage because you are an adult...they aren't.
These are all new feelings to them..
This is the world... there's madness.. it's hard.
Don't compare their experiences to anything else.
An adult.. you've already experienced a hint of maybe this and that...in small bits.
For example the cold season...
You've breathed cold air ..lived in it...known the goosebumps you get from that breeze that blows you in the face.
Some people when asked...why do you get children they say for their retirement plan..I mean..
Please rethink your decision and answer.
You're already suffering not getting the appropriate retirement funds..
Why on earth would you bring another mini innocent you to deal with your problems when the problems are yours?

30/08/2023

Women, let's style up..

Now,women,why do you allow yourselves to be manipulated?The moment you get a child, it's over for you in so many different ways.
For some reason,your value degrades in the society especially when you're a single mom..it's like other people become gods..you a slave..but I'm not here to talk about the society today...I'm here to talk about you.Yes,the tummy may be big, the blessings that you are about to receive..will be worth it but by the time your kid reaches a point they'll take care of you...you will have worked...and toiled.. sometimes even thinking that you're going to lose your mind.Now, obviously you can't pregnant without a man involved so,think about all the emotions you feel, endless cravings,backaches, exhaustion,muscle cramps, morning sickness(nausea and vomiting),all while having another being inside you.
The sudden need to push, contractions, heaving,pain.. equivalent to 32 bones cracking at once,the insults you are hurled at by nurses trying to help you,blood loss,teared up perineum all while delivering a baby. That's what every/most mother endures while giving birth to this world.

But,what comes afterwards should be team work since it took two of you to bring the little one into this world.
Endless cries,sleepless nights, exhaustion from giving your all in the birth, reaching milestones,fevers,toddler tantrums, indiscipline in school, school fees stress,basic needs,sickness and everything that involves the world and your child.
All on you when the father defaults in his responsibilities.Work for two or more falling into your hands.Don't you want your mental health to be okay and you to be at peace?
Some things can be avoided by doing the simple yet important things... really basic actually.
Having protection on you,every time you're to get intimate, having self control is paramount, saying a no, itself is a full sentence for every gender and setting beneficial goals will be enough for you.
Getting to know someone for a longer time is also really important since some put on a mask and hide their true self to be marketable out there.That's hypocrisy..
And if you backslide, it's alright... that's what makes us human.Doing the same thing again,after all, expecting different results is the pure definition of stupidity.
You are of value...no matter who you are.
Act like it.
It's not never too late to take responsibility..and again be cautious while giving a second chance to anyone.. because as I said...we are all human but think about the consequences that will befall on you if you give yourself to temptations.

We've all faced a crisis in our lives.I'm here to share my stories with you and learn from them�