Max

27/11/2022

I wanted to go jogging today but I remembered that Proverbs 28:1 says: "The wicked runs when nobody is chasing them".😂😂

22/11/2020

After a lengthy delay for plane repairs, the passengers were becoming impatient but quit complaining when the pilot told them:

"Why don't you look at it this way? Wouldn't you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?"

22/08/2016

DEAR LADIES ,

BITTER TRUTH YOU MUST SWALLOW :

1. S*x doesn't keep a man, if you like, turn 360% on bed, he will still dump you. Bleach until you become white, if he doesn't notice the qualities of a wife in you, he will leave you.

2. A man who win your love with cash may not stay forever. Real men doesn't settle down with fake women who love money.

3. The beauty of a woman can take her to a Palace but her character will determine how long she stays in the palace. Beauty attracts men but character keep them.

4. Material things definitely has its merits but it cannot alone provide the riches of a truly meaningful life.

5. Being s*xy without a character will not get you a husband, you will only get a boyfriend.

6. S*x can bring pleasure but it can never bring love, s*x is a product of love, love is not a product of s*x.

7. S*x can make a man stay with you overnight but love will make him stay for a lifetime.

8. There are some things that money just can't buy like manners, moral and integrity.

9. How you dress will definitely determine how men will address you.

10. The nudes u post on social sites will only attract you men full of lust, after using u s*xually they will move forward and settle with decent ladies

Ask yourself what are u worth?

Are u an object?

Is this what God created you for?

17/01/2013

kamau: How was your paper Omollo ?
Omollo: It was kind of hard; I didn't know the past
tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and thought
for along time then finally wrote'thunk'
Kamau : I guess you're right because I wrote thunk
after I thought 4 a while..Sh*t! And what about the past tense of
'write' ?
Omollo : I dont know what I wrote; I think I wrote
'written'
Kamau : That one I didn't even bother. When I saw
the next number asking for the past tense of 'go', I
just went out of the Exam Room.
Omollo : Me too, when I reached that number I
couldn't take it anymore. Those idiots gave us an
exam beyond our scope.....

09/01/2013

My girlfriend looked at me
with her s*xy eyes and
said, "I want you to make
me scream with only two
fingers baby" So I poked
her in the eyes..

21/12/2012

A guy takes a gal on a date.She orders costly champagne,oysters,lobsters,the most expensive food on the menu.The guy asks,"Do you eat like this at your mom's place?" the lady replies,"No,my mother doesn't plan to sleep with me after the meal.."

19/12/2012

UNAITWA /MANZI YAKO ANAITWA???
1. Mercy> wote ni wapole but
hupewa mimba ovyo ovyo.
2. Damaris> wote huwa wasupuu...
3. Sarah>huwa na mushene
mob....
4. Mercy>huwa wajuaji mbaya
5. Joyce> ni mafala kiasi.
6. Esther> ni machopi....
7. Hellen> wote ni ma player... 8. Anne> ni ma-drama queen.
9. Everlyne> ni wafunny.
10. Margret> ni wa-caring..
11.Viola>wanape ­nda s*x
12.Edith>huwang ­a faithful
14.Norah>wanaku ­wanga expensive
15.patricia/ ­susan>very romantic
16.Elizabeth>co ­nservatives
17.Liz>wanajua kungara poa sana
18.Angeline>har ­d to get
19.Rose>hardwor ­king
20.Caro>mahasir ­a tupu
21.July/ ­janet>wanapenda doo sana
22.Sheryl>huwa malazy
23.Stacy>huwa wanyanganyaji mabwana za watu
24.Freida>huwa wapishi wazuri
25.Immaculate/ ­ivy>huwa very economica

17/12/2012

Three gals were bathing at the same place,suddenly wind came and blew away their towels.Unfortunately a guy was was passing by..One girl covered her boobs,another covered her private parts and the third girl covered her face.Who do u think was smart?

15/12/2012

like dis

madness korna

15/12/2012

PLIZ HELP.....Translate this into English...
'MIMI SI MTU HIVIHIVI...'

13/12/2012

Strictly Ladies ONLY;
Ladies if u want to test ur man try the
following

1:AFter dating for like 6months or so ask him if he
knows ur birthday:if he does he is attentive and
sensitive keep dating him
2:When he acts kiddish when u say no to s*x until
maybe after 4 months he isa real man ;he aint getting
it anywhere else but he canso dont use s*x as a
weapon: give him the best s*x ever he will never think
of any arsenal or football match again:
3:if he likes kids and sometimes buys some baby stuff
for no reason maybe for cousins or neighbors he is a
serious family man dont lethim go
4:if he wont put lock on hisphone or comp so u can see
messages;he is proud and maybe very intelligently
playing u:: trust me he has a way of cleaning his phone
and barring the other gfs number when with u:
5:if he asks about ur family;if u ever told ur family
about him please lie and say yes: c how he behaves;if
he asks what did they say? Say they are Christians and
modern u know:: they just wants us to be happy so
long as we are
in love::: the dude will be amazed
6: if he always wants to hang out with u especially in
public; trust me he knows u r beautyful and is showing
off;unfortunate ly the husband snatchers will envy ur
relationship and make ur life living hell:they will try to
seduce
him to test u::: ignore them:take care of ur man
7:if he likes cooking please dont let him go:: i don't mean boiling hot water and puttin coffee and
sugar ::lol i mean like cooking fried liver with baked
beans with some fresh vegs and salads wow:::
8:if he likes watching soap with u and not busy
facebooking;he has a soft side:: he is real he respects
ur nonesense and opinion;keep dating him
9:if he never thinks of health and fitness issues;he is
there for a season only:: hecant see both of u past 10
yrs
10:if he never gets angry with u whenever u try to as in
u dont know how to make him angry even grabbing
remote when arsenal is about to score:: then he is gay
or very good player
11:if he is reading this he likes gossiping marry him:he
will always keep u busy in the kitchen
12: if after work the first thing he asks is whats good in
news::: he fu***ng doesnt care about u more that his
32inch cheap tv screen
from china:
13:if he is always on facebook or other social sites but
never even like ur status:: he is not grown up yet::: he
is nat proud of u
14:if he is always broke after 20th of every month he
has no future he just likes uwhen he has salary:: that's a very unfortunate relationship run
15:if he constantly puts his mum first ;be carefull and
be clever make very goood friends with his mom ;he
will like u soo much....
16:if after one shot he is soo fast asleep and he doesn't gym or work in a gym or a mine consult Cheaters:::
17:if he takes u to his house and asks u to stay with
him whenever u can::: ignore pretend to have to
consult with urself and family coz where u come from
its not right:but dont waste too much time have the
other key:: dont ever let him know when u can come
there::: and finally if he is reading this shame on him