Giving Hope Counselling Services

08/08/2025

COPIED FOR ITS GREAT MESSAGE

*FOOD FOR THOUGHT 🔥*
Unless you understand your role in *society*, you can never make any meaningful contribution.

According to the *Greek, there are three *types* of *people* on *earth*,

- the *idiots* ,
- the *tribesmen* , and
- the *citizens* .

Studies show only *10%* of Africans/Asians are citizens.
The remaining *90%* are either *tribesmen* or *idiots* .

1. When the *Greek* used the word *"idiot"*, they did not use it as a *curse word*.
2. *Idiots* are people who just don’t care.
If they write exams, they will cheat.
If they are in government they will steal.
*An idiot* does not care at all, if he eats bananas he throws the peels anywhere instead of putting them in a trash bin.

*IDIOTS* *won't attend monthly neighborhood meetings. They won't pay security dues. They won't contribute to community development. Even when they see or know about something that will harm others in the community they won't report it* . When they see/know/have something that will benefit their community they won't share. Infact, *Idiots* don't care to register for or vote in an election yet they complain the most. If they register to vote, *IDIOTS* will sell their votes for peanuts.

According to the Greeks, some societies have more *idiots* than *tribesmen* and *citizens* .

2. The next set of people are *tribesmen* , these are people that look at everything from the point of view of their tribe.

These are people that believe in you only if you are part of their tribe.
It can be terrible to have a tribesman as a leader, he will alienate the rest.

When the Greeks talk about tribes, it’s not just about ethnicity, they also consider religion, gang membership, group membership, *party membership* and even cult membership as a tribe.
A great percentage of Africans/Asians are *tribesmen* , because they view everything from the point of view of their tribes.
They trust only their *tribesmen* .

3. The last group are *citizens.*
These are people that like to do things the right way.
They will respect traffic light rules even if no one is watching them.
They drive within speed limits.
They respect the laws, won’t cheat in exams.
In government they won’t steal.
They are compassionate and give to others to promote their wellbeing.

*Citizens* often promote projects that benefit everyone.
The Greeks called this group the *citizens* .

Some countries have more *citizens* than *tribesmen* and *idiots* .
Others have so many *idiots* .

A *tribesman* can become a *citizen* through orientation.
And an *idiot* can become a *citizen* by training and constant enforcement of the law.

But things fall apart if you elect an *idiot* or *tribesman* to lead you if he has not been reformed.

Where do you belong?
Are you an *idiot* , a *tribesman* or a *citizen* ?

Reflect about your life.

*REFLECT ABOUT YOUR HOME, SCHOOL, IMMEDIATE COMMUNITY, CITY, STATE & NATION.*

God be with us all, Amen!🙏🏽

07/08/2025

ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES IN OUR PARTNERS
1. Understanding the Nature of Differences
In marriage, differences between spouses are natural and even beneficial, though they can also be a source of frustration. Whether it's being an extrovert versus an introvert, a risk-taker versus a cautious thinker, or a big-picture planner versus a detail-oriented doer, these contrasts reflect how uniquely God has made each of us. Rather than seeing differences as problems to fix, couples are encouraged to see them as opportunities for growth and balance within the relationship.
2. The Value of Complementary Traits
Each personality type brings strengths to the marriage that the other may lack. Leapers help Lookers take bold steps, while Lookers keep Leapers grounded. Outliners provide direction, while Detailers bring clarity and precision. Likewise, extroverts bring energy and connection, while introverts foster depth and reflection. When couples appreciate these traits in each other, they learn to function as a team, complementing rather than competing with one another.
3. Grace and Effort in Daily Interactions
Differences can become a source of tension—especially when they are misunderstood or judged as “wrong.” Planners may view Flexers as disorganized, while Flexers may see Planners as overly rigid. However, Scripture encourages spouses to extend grace to one another. Planners can learn to be more flexible, while Flexers are called to be more intentional. Accepting these challenges with love and perseverance helps couples grow stronger together, even when their natural tendencies seem to clash.
4. Letting God Guide the Process
Ultimately, not every piece of advice will apply the same way to every couple, because each marriage is unique. That’s why it’s important to let the Holy Spirit guide how we apply what we learn. Some ideas may need to be adjusted, flipped, or even set aside depending on your individual situation. What matters most is the willingness to learn, grow, and walk together in love and mutual respect—trusting God to lead and shape your journey.
At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, our well-trained and experienced Marriage and Family Therapists are here to professionally guide you in navigating and overcoming differences within your relationship or marriage. Whether you and your partner struggle with personality clashes, communication styles, or conflicting approaches to life, we offer a safe, supportive space where you can learn to understand each other better, appreciate your unique strengths, and build a stronger, more unified partnership.
Call/WhatsApp us at +254721240462/+254733932470 or email us at info@givinghope.co.ke . Also visit the blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke for similar articles.
Peter Mugi Kuruga
Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist

06/08/2025

Marriage becomes sweet when it's built on the right foundation. Here are some key things that make marriage sweet:

1. Love and Respect – When both partners love and respect each other deeply, everything else flows naturally.

2. Communication – Open, honest, and kind communication helps couples understand each other better.

3. Forgiveness – Mistakes happen, but being quick to forgive keeps bitterness away.

4. Support – Standing by each other in hard times strengthens the bond.

5. Friendship – Being each other’s best friend makes the relationship joyful and fun.

6. Trust – A sweet marriage is rooted in trust; without it, peace cannot grow.

7. Shared goals – When couples dream together, plan together, and build together, their bond deepens.

8. Gratitude – Appreciating the little things makes love grow bigger.

9. Time together – Quality time builds intimacy and keeps the connection strong.

10. God at the center – For many couples, putting God first brings peace, direction, and unity.

A sweet marriage isn’t perfect — it’s simply two people committed to growing together, loving through every season.






#

06/08/2025

*RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS OR SIMPLE GIFTS OF LOVE ARE GREAT FOR OUR MARRIAGES*
Small but consistent gestures of affection and care may seem insignificant on the surface, but they are often the foundation of a strong, lasting marriage. These simple acts—such as a gentle touch, a kind word, or an unexpected favor—speak volumes about love and devotion. While grand romantic gestures are meaningful, it’s the daily moments of thoughtfulness that truly communicate, “You matter to me.” Over time, these small expressions of love build emotional security and strengthen the marital bond.
Unfortunately, in the busyness of life, couples can begin to overlook the value of these seemingly minor acts. Long-term spouses especially may begin to take such gestures for granted. Yet, it’s through these quiet moments of kindness that emotional distance is bridged, and connection is restored. Whether it's a cold drink on a hot day, a back rub after work, or simply calling your spouse to watch a sunset together, these small offerings show attentiveness, love, and care in tangible ways.
Experts like Dr. Ronn Elmore and Pastor Paul David Tripp highlight that the health of a marriage is not built on dramatic, once-in-a-lifetime events, but on the accumulation of small, loving actions done daily. These acts don’t require a lot of money or planning—just intentionality and a heart willing to serve and bless your partner. They are easy to do if we are not too distracted to notice the opportunities they present each day.
By choosing to prioritize these little gestures, couples not only nurture their love but also please God, who honors even the smallest act of kindness done in His name. Making these acts a joyful habit—rather than a chore—can transform the atmosphere of a marriage. In doing so, spouses rediscover the delight of giving and receiving love in simple, heartfelt ways that keep their relationship vibrant and meaningful.
At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, our experienced Marriage and Family Therapists are here to guide you in discovering the power of small, everyday actions that can deepen emotional intimacy and strengthen your connection as a couple. We believe that it's often the little things—kind words, gentle touches, and thoughtful gestures—that make the biggest difference in a marriage. Let us help you rekindle closeness, improve communication, and build a loving bond that grows stronger through intentional, meaningful habits.
Call/WhatsApp us at *+254721240462/+254733932470* to book an online or physical counselling session. Also visit our website www.givinghope.co.ke to read more educational articles.
*Peter Mugi Kuruga*
*Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist*
*Court Annexed Mediator*

06/08/2025

Big shout out to my newest top fans! 💎 Danka Arts, Jimmy Mose, Che Leonard Tang

Drop a comment to welcome them to our community, fans

06/08/2025

I got over 100 reactions on one of my posts last week! Thanks everyone for your support! 🎉

05/08/2025

WHO LIED TO OUR DAUGHTERS? 😞

Whoever told women that beauty now means walking half-naked in public… lied to them.

They didn’t just lie to them, they robbed them.

They robbed them of the power of mystery.
They robbed them of the elegance of restraint.
They robbed them of the kind of beauty that commands respect before it demands attention.

They made our sisters believe that their skin is more valuable than their soul.
That more exposure means more validation.
That to be seen is more important than to be respected.
That waywardness is confidence.

Now, we scroll through social media timelines filled with desperate cries for likes.

Beautiful queens turned into clickbait, not because they aren’t powerful, but because they were never told how powerful they already were fully clothed.

Let’s be clear: modesty is not oppression.

It’s not about hiding, it’s about honoring.
Honoring your body. Honoring your mind. Honoring the parts of you that the world doesn’t deserve access to just because it’s Friday and the sun is out.

True beauty?
It isn’t loud.
It doesn’t need to shout or strip to be seen.
It glows, it flows, it speaks before the mouth opens and it leaves people wondering, “Who is that Princess?”

To every woman reading this:

You don’t need to undress to be unforgettable.
Your value is not in your curves but in your character.
Your worth is not in the amount of skin you reveal but the strength of your soul.

The real flex?
Being fully clothed, fully confident, and still turning heads… for the right reasons.

And if you find the right man, let him be blessed with the sight that the public can only wish for.

And remember, God is against ungodly wears. My sermon is that you realize that you are worth much more than your nakedness.

(DIGGING DEEP)

05/08/2025

HOW TO SUPPORT A LOVED ONE SUFFERING FROM CANCER
Supporting a loved one with cancer begins with understanding the emotional weight carried by the diagnosis. The words “You have cancer” can trigger a flood of fear, confusion, and numbness, making it difficult for the person to absorb anything that follows. As a supporter, it’s important to recognize this initial shock and be present with empathy and patience, without overwhelming them with advice or questions. Each stage of the cancer journey—whether newly diagnosed, undergoing treatment, or in recovery—brings unique challenges. Your loved one may be physically drained and emotionally vulnerable. During this time, offering consistent emotional support, listening without judgment, and validating their feelings can go a long way. Avoid minimizing their experience; instead, show up with compassion and allow space for whatever emotions arise.
Encouraging professional support can be one of the most helpful things you do. Mental health professionals, oncology counselors, and support groups can offer tools to help your loved one manage the psychological toll of the illness. This kind of support can also help them make informed decisions, cope with side effects, and maintain hope during difficult moments.
When supporting someone with cancer, your words can have a powerful impact—either uplifting or unintentionally hurtful. It’s important to be thoughtful and sensitive in how you communicate.
What to Say:
Express genuine care and willingness to be there. Simple, heartfelt statements like *“I’m here for you,”* *“I’m thinking of you,”* or *“Is there anything you need?”* can offer comfort without putting pressure on the person. Asking for permission to check in or send updates like jokes or messages also shows respect for their boundaries and preferences. Sometimes, just listening without trying to solve anything is the best support you can offer.
What Not to Say:
Avoid overly positive or minimizing phrases like *“You’re so strong, you’ve got this,”* or *“Everything happens for a reason.”* While well-intended, such statements can make someone feel like they’re not allowed to express fear, sadness, or exhaustion. Also avoid sharing unsolicited advice, comparisons to other cancer experiences, or discussing survival statistics.
Lastly, remind your loved one of their inner strengths. While cancer can be overwhelming, many people discover resilience they didn’t know they had. Your role is not to fix everything but to walk beside them—providing strength when they feel weak, and comfort when they feel afraid. Small acts of kindness, presence, and encouragement can provide stability in an otherwise uncertain time. Ultimately, it's about being present, patient, and compassionate. Your support should affirm their feelings, not dismiss or sugarcoat their reality. Speak with empathy, follow their lead, and when in doubt, simply say, *“I care about you and I’m here.”*

At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, our experienced psychologists are here to walk with you through the journey of cancer and any other illness, offering compassionate support from diagnosis through recovery. We understand the emotional, mental, and physical toll illness can take, and we are committed to helping you cope, build resilience, and find strength every step of the way. You don’t have to face this journey alone—let us help you regain hope and a sense of control in the midst of uncertainty.
Call/WhatsApp us at +254721240462/+254733932470 to book either an online or physical counselling session. For more comprehensive articles visit the blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke.

Peter Mugi Kuruga
Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist
Court Annexed Mediator

04/08/2025

A LETTER TO ALL MEN

Dear Men,

If you want to make it in life, you don't have to enter every HOLE you see. Some holes are dead traps. Some holes are destiny destroyers, business destroyers and life destroyers.

My brother, do not obey your Er****on at all times. Most Er****ons mislead you to wrong direction. Control your er****on if you don't want to to have few days on earth with much poverty on you.

It is not everything you see under skirt that you should hustle to eat, some skirts contain snakes that will bite you and leave you uncomfortable. Control your sexual urge. Self control and abstinence in most cases pays a lot.

A man who can control his sexual urge is a man who can live many years on earth. Men don't know that some of their downfalls are caused by MULTIPLE girlfriends. Not every girl has a good spirit. Some are demons, some has poison in between their legs....

Add my backup as well Princess Terry

04/08/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16jkGNVsEu/

“My Money is My Money, But His Money is Our Money?”

💔 A Danger0us Mindset in Marriage

© Samuel Olagbenjo

Ladies, let's talk. 👇
That line might sound funny on social media, but in real life, it’s one of the quickest ways to break trust, fuel resentment, and hinder progress in your marriage.

As a marriage counselor, let me help you reset your mindset and set your marriage up for success. 💯

✅ 1. Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Competition 🌹

Once you say "I do," you are no longer two individuals — you are one team.

That means resources, time, energy, and money should no longer be viewed as “mine vs. yours” but ours.

✅ 2. Your Money is Family Money 🌹

Whether the husband earns it or the wife does, it belongs to the home, not to one person.

Money should be pooled together to meet family needs, pursue shared goals, and build legacy.

🧩 Teamwork in finances equals peace in the home.

✅ 3. Stop Misusing 1 Timothy 5 🌹

Many wrongly use 1 Timothy 5:8 to say men must be sole providers. But context matters!

That chapter talks about supporting widows, not setting financial roles in marriage.

Verse 16 even says: “If any man or woman has widows... let them relieve them...”

💡 Conclusion: Provision isn’t gender-specific — it’s about responsibility, not roles.

✅ 4. Scripture Over Culture 🌹

Culture may say “only the man must provide”, but the Bible never says the man must be the sole provider.

🔍 Proverbs 31 paints a picture of a resourceful, industrious woman involved in:

📍Agriculture

📍Trading and exporting

📍Fashion and textiles

📍Charity work

👑 She was married and still actively contributed financially.

✅ 5. Marriage is a Financial Partnership 🌹

You and your spouse should:

📍Set shared financial goals

📍Create a joint budget

📍Discuss big purchases

📍Sacrifice for one another when needed

Sometimes, the wife will delay her wants so her husband can meet a need, and vice versa.
This is not weakness — this is love and wisdom.

✅ 6. Ladies, Adjust Your Mindset 🌹

Stop seeing yourself as a financial observer.
You are not a guest in your marriage — you are a co-builder.

🚫 “I’m just helping him”
✅ “We’re building this life together”

God did not create Eve to be idle — He created her to be a helper suitable. That includes emotional, spiritual, and financial help.

✅ 7. Be a Woman of Value, Not Just Expense 🌹

You can be wealthy. You can provide.
You can start a business, own property, fund dreams, sponsor others, and bless your home.

🌱 You are not just a helpmate — you are a force for financial progress.

🙏🏾 Final Word:

Marriage thrives where selfishness d!es.
Drop the “my money vs. his money” mindset.

Pick up the “our home, our wealth, our future” mindset.

💖 God is for your marriage, and you will not fail in Jesus’ name.

🔁 Share this with every married couple and young woman you know.

📌 Follow us for more Biblical marriage truths:

📘 Facebook: Marital Success Academy

You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name

Follow us on Instagram:

© Samuel Olagbenjo
Marriage/Family Therapist | Best-Selling Author | Publisher | Book Project Consultant | Book Editor | Ghostwriter | Founder, Marital Success Academy

31/07/2025

RECOGNISING MISUSE AND PREVENTING SOMEONE FROM USING YOU
Have you ever felt like someone was only around when they needed something from you—money, favors, or attention—but disappeared when you needed support? That’s a common sign you may be getting used. While sometimes it’s obvious, in many cases the manipulation is subtle, leaving you unsure and doubting your own instincts. Recognizing these behaviors early on is key to protecting your emotional and mental well-being.
People who use others often employ manipulative tactics like gaslighting, love bombing, or passive aggression to keep control and hide their true intentions. They might isolate you from others, criticize you to lower your confidence, or make empty promises they never intend to fulfill. These behaviors are often driven by selfishness, insecurity, a need for control, or a lack of empathy—and in some cases, may be tied to deeper mental health issues.
The effects of being used can be damaging, leading to anxiety, depression, and emotional trauma. It can erode your self-esteem and make it difficult to trust others or build healthy relationships in the future. One-sided relationships drain you emotionally, especially when you're constantly giving while the other person only takes.
To protect yourself, start by setting firm boundaries and becoming more aware of your self-worth. Building confidence and practicing self-compassion makes it easier to walk away from toxic dynamics. Don’t be afraid to seek help—from a mental health professional or trusted mentor—who can support you in developing healthier relationship habits. You deserve connections that are mutual, respectful, and emotionally safe.
At Giving Hope Counselling Services, our compassionate experts are here to help you recognize when you're being misused or taken advantage of in a relationship. We provide a safe, supportive space where your voice is heard, your experiences are validated, and your well-being comes first. Whether you're struggling to set boundaries, rebuild trust, or regain confidence, our skilled therapists will walk alongside you—offering guidance, clarity, and practical tools to help you navigate and heal from unhealthy relationship dynamics. Let us help you reclaim your strength and peace of mind. Call/WhatsApp us at +254721240462/+254733932470 or email us at info@givinghope.co.ke to book a counselling session.
Peter Mugi Kuruga
Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist
Dip. In Counselling, B. Com., MA in Counselling, PhD.