07/08/2020
Parents Tip Sheet produced by the Department of Psychiatry at AUBMC:
How to help your child deal with the tragic explosion?
For families not affected with major physical and human losses
0-2 years
• Look baby in the eyes
• Smile
• Hug, cuddle, kiss, touch
• Talk calmly
• Sing a lullaby
• Rock
• Provide basic needs (if nursing continue to do so, your own stress level and shock won’t affect the quality of your milk)
2-5 years
• Cuddle
• Reassure that you are here with them to protect them
• Talk calmly in soothing voice
• Allow child to talk about their experience through play or story telling
• Avoid exposure to news
• Attend to the type of conversations children hear about the event
• Try to keep daily routines and use activities as a distraction as much as possible
• Respond to questions clearly but briefly and in simple words
• Use prayer, lullaby, or small stories to calm down when anxious, especially at bedtime
5-11 years
• Cuddle
• Reassure that you are safe and close family members and friends are safe
• Ask them about their experience and understanding of the event
• Answer their questions honestly using facts
• Explain that there was a big explosion that led to major destruction
• Share your feelings and help them discuss their feelings
• Avoid exposure to news and graphic videos or pictures
• Create activities that allow them to feel helpful such as writing letters to affected families, praying for them, preparing food, donating clothes…
• Let them know that you are available to answer any questions they may have. Use simple terms when responding. Avoid sugarcoating. Be honest and clear.
• Use prayer, soothing songs, or breathing exercises to calm down when anxious, especially at bedtime
12-18 years
• Reassure about their own safety and the safety of family and friends
• Discuss feelings and experiences during the event and after it
• Allow questions and discussions about what happened using facts
• Limit exposure to news and social media
• Direct them to trusted sources of information
• Let them know you are available to discuss any upsetting thoughts or images or questions they may have.
• Help them participate in any community effort: donations, help, or prayer for affected families
• Direct them to relaxing songs, or mobile applications for breathing and meditation to calm down when anxious
For families affected with major physical and human losses
0-2 years
• Eye contact
• Touch, cuddle, hug and kiss
• Talk soothingly about the loss (children may not understand your words but they can pick up on you emotions)
2-5 years
• Use touch and eye contact
• Talk calmly about the loss using clear but simple words
• Use metaphors or stories about loss of loved ones or houses or belongings
• If you need to leave your home:
o Explain clearly, in simple terms why you are leaving and where you are going (say for example: our house is no longer safe, we need to go to grandma’s house to be all together and safe)
o If possible, allow them to pick one important item of their choice to take with them (favorite toy or blanket)
o When settled at another house, ask them about their feelings when they left the house and share your own through play or stories
• If a close person has passed away:
o Use the word death clearly and explain that when someone dies they are gone forever and we won’t be able to see them anymore
o Remind them that through prayer or other rituals they can connect with the deceased.
o Expect limited understanding about the finality of death and repeated questions about them
6-11 years
• Use touch and eye contact
• Talk calmly about the loss using clear and factual words
• If you need to leave your home:
o Explain clearly, why you are leaving and where you are going (say for example: The explosion was so strong it shattered the windows and doors at home. We can no longer stay here because it is not safe. We need to leave to a safer house away from Beirut)
o If possible, allow them to pick one important item of their choice to take with them
o When settled at another house, discuss the difficulty of seeing the house so damaged and ask them about their feelings about leaving belongings and memories behind.
• If a close person has passed away:
o Use the word death clearly, if known explain briefly the cause and circumstances of death
o Remind them that through prayer or other rituals they can connect with the deceased.
o Share your feelings of grief and allow them to express their feelings in any way
o Avoid exposure to dramatic reactions of grief
12-18 years
• Use touch and eye contact
• Talk calmly about the loss using clear and factual words
• If you need to leave your home:
o Explain clearly, why you are leaving and where you are going (say for example: We can no longer stay here because it is not safe. We need to leave to a safer house away from Beirut)
o If possible, allow them to pick one important item of their choice to take with them
o When settled at another house, discuss the difficulty of seeing the house so damaged and ask them about their feelings about leaving belongings and memories behind.
• If a close person has passed away:
o Use the word death clearly, if known explain briefly the cause and circumstances of death
o Remind them that through prayer or other rituals they can connect with the deceased.
o Share your feelings of grief and allow them to express their feelings in any way
• Avoid exposure to dramatic reactions of grief
• Be available to answer questions about life, death, God, religion, the future..
o When you don’t have an answer, don’t shut them out. Explain that you also wonder about these things and don’t have a clear answer now.
