
08/07/2025
🧘♀️ When I walked out of my first 10-day silent retreat, I felt peace like never before.
I thought: “This is it. I’ve figured out life for good.” More about it 💬👇
But then I got home… and within days, I collapsed — back to quick dopamine hits and old habits.
👉 That’s because the peace wasn’t integrated. And no matter how much I meditated after, I couldn’t reach that same deep stillness.
What I came to realize was this:
During the retreat, my protective parts softened.
They stepped aside to let my True Self — that calm, loving inner awareness — emerge.
But once I re-entered the chaos of life, those protectors rushed back in.
And I didn’t yet know how to meet them with love.
🔁 That’s why meditation alone wasn’t enough for me.
What was missing?
A trauma-informed lens.
When anger came up, I was told: “Don’t engage. Just observe.”
But what I really needed was someone to say:
“Observe it with love. Ask what it needs. See if it has a message.”
That’s where Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Somatic Experiencing (SE) changed everything.
➡️ In IFS, we don’t push parts away — we build compassionate relationships with them.
We understand their roles and help them unburden, so healing carries into daily life.
➡️ In SE, we don’t just notice sensations — we let the body complete what got stuck.
Without needing to attach stories or fix anything.
➡️ In Vipassana, we cultivate awareness — but without context, that awareness can easily become a bypass.
Now I still meditate — but I do it with my parts.
I listen. I get curious. I let them speak.
And once they feel seen, peace returns… and this time, it stays — because it’s embodied.
Even though in theory Vipassana must stand alone, I no longer see it that way.
✨ Awareness + compassion + embodiment = lasting transformation.
They’re not in competition.
They’re puzzle pieces. And together — they make healing whole.
If you’ve ever felt confused after meditating — like you touched something beautiful but lost it again —
You didn’t do anything wrong.
You just needed the integration.
More about this in my latest YouTube video. Link in the comments section.
Let me know if this resonates with you 💬👇