Caroline Vassallo- Gestalt Psychotherapist

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Caroline Vassallo- Gestalt Psychotherapist

Warranted Gestalt Psychotherapist(PPBM-213)

Clinical Supervisor

B.A (Melit.), H.Dip (Melit), M.Psych (Gestalt).

20/07/2025

Emotional regulation isn’t about never getting triggered.
It’s about how you respond when you are.

In real life, emotional regulation looks like:
• Taking a breath before replying to a harsh comment
• Choosing not to text back just to get the last word
• Pausing to name what you’re actually feeling
• Saying, “I need a moment” instead of exploding

It’s not about suppressing your emotions but about staying connected to yourself while feeling them.

Emotional regulation isn’t the absence of emotion—
It’s presence, with boundaries.

18/07/2025

Common Myths About Therapy That Still Show Up in Sessions:

❌ “Therapists give advice.”
✅ Actually, we help you hear yourself more clearly.

❌ “Talking about it makes it worse.”
✅ Avoiding emotions buries them. Naming them moves them.

❌ “If I were strong, I wouldn’t need this.”
✅ It takes strength to face your inner world.

❌ “If therapy works, I should feel better right away.”
✅ Sometimes you’ll feel more discomfort before you feel relief. That’s the work.

Therapy isn’t about fixing you.
It’s about understanding, unlearning, and reconnecting with who you were before the world told you to be someone else.

16/07/2025

Naming a feeling doesn’t just describe your experience—it regulates it.

Instead of: “I feel bad,”
Try: “I feel disappointed… hurt… lonely… resentful.”

When you name an emotion:
• The amygdala (fear center) slows down
• The prefrontal cortex (thinking center) engages
• The shame and confusion soften

Naming is the first step in making your emotions manageable.

You don’t have to fix the feeling.
Just start by naming it.

14/07/2025

Doing the work is more than saying affirmations or posting trauma quotes.

It’s:
• Getting honest with yourself about your patterns
• Choosing to respond differently—even when it’s uncomfortable
• Sitting with feelings instead of escaping them
• Setting boundaries and tolerating the guilt
• Being accountable without self-shaming
• Letting go of roles you played to survive

It’s quiet.
It’s often unseen.
It’s sometimes exhausting.

But it’s also how you come home to yourself.

12/07/2025

Secure attachment feels like:
• You can be apart without fear of abandonment
• You feel safe expressing needs and feelings
• You trust without constant reassurance
• You resolve conflict with repair, not punishment
• You feel emotionally held—even when things are hard

It doesn’t mean no conflict.
It means conflict doesn’t feel like a threat to your worth or connection.

It feels like home.
Safe. Honest. Warm.
Not perfect—just consistent.

10/07/2025

Love isn’t supposed to cost you yourself.

Signs you may be in a codependent dynamic:
• You feel responsible for their moods
• You ignore your needs to keep the peace
• You lose yourself in their problems
• Your self-worth is tied to “fixing” them

Signs of healthy love:
• You can both hold your own emotions
• Boundaries are respected, not resented
• Support flows both ways
• You’re loved for who you are—not what you provide

If it feels like love but leaves you drained, it might be something else.

05/07/2025

Many of us grew up needing to perform to be seen.
To get love only when we pleased others, succeeded, or stayed small.

And so the adult version of us still waits:
• For someone to tell us we’re good enough
• That we did it right
• That we’re allowed to take up space

But the kind of validation that actually heals?
It comes from within.

Practice saying:
• “I did my best—and that matters.”
• “I’m proud of how I showed up.”
• “I’m enough, even if no one notices today.”

This isn’t ego.
It’s emotional maturity.
It’s reparenting the parts of you that were taught you had to earn your worth.

04/07/2025

Shame says: “There’s something wrong with me.”
And it’s heavy. Private. Crippling.

But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

To sit with shame (without becoming it), try:
• Naming it: “This is shame I’m feeling—not who I am.”
• Locating it in your body (tight chest, flushed face, etc.)
• Speaking it aloud in safe spaces (shame hates being seen)
• Asking: “Where did I learn this belief about myself?”

Shame thrives in secrecy.
But when you bring it into the light—with compassion—it starts to loosen its grip.

You don’t have to get rid of shame to heal.
You just have to stop letting it make your decisions.

03/07/2025

What if failure isn’t a flaw—but a signal?

In therapy, failure isn’t something to be “fixed.”
It’s something to understand.

Failure often reveals:
• An outdated coping strategy
• A misaligned goal
• A survival response trying to protect you
• A part of you still learning

We look at the why behind the fall—not just the fall itself.

In therapy, failure isn’t a dead end.
It’s data.
It’s the nervous system saying, “I need something different.”
It’s the psyche saying, “There’s something unfinished here.”

You’re not failing.
You’re in a process.

30/06/2025

Your inner critic doesn’t always yell.
Sometimes, it whispers.
Or uses the voice of a parent, teacher, or ex.
Sometimes it sounds like the truth.

Here’s how to spot it:

It speaks in absolutes:
“You always mess this up.”
“You’ll never get it right.”

It uses shame as a motivator:
“If I’m hard enough on myself, I’ll finally change.”

It focuses on perfection, not progress.
“You should be further along by now.”
“That wasn’t good enough.”

It turns vulnerability into weakness:
“You’re too much.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“Don’t show them that.”

But here’s the thing:
Your inner critic isn’t your enemy.
It’s an old defense mechanism—trying (poorly) to protect you from rejection, failure, or being seen.

The goal isn’t to silence it…
It’s to get curious.
To ask: “Whose voice is this?”
To soften it.
And eventually—to speak to yourself in a voice that heals, not harms.

07/05/2025

Therapy should feel safe, respectful, and collaborative—not judgmental, boundary-blurring, or confusing. It’s okay to leave a therapist who isn’t right for you.

Some red flags to be aware of:
• They dismiss your feelings or shame your choices
• They talk more about themselves than about you
• They ignore your boundaries
• They don’t repair ruptures if you express discomfort

Therapists are human, yes—but it’s our job to hold ethical space for your healing.

If something feels off, you’re allowed to trust that.
Your healing deserves safety.

06/05/2025

The inner critic is that harsh voice inside that tells you you’re not good enough, not doing enough, not worthy enough. But here’s the truth: it’s not you.

It’s a protective part—often shaped by early experiences where love, safety, or approval felt conditional. It learned to shame you first, so others couldn’t.

Healing begins when we recognize it, pause, and say:
“I hear you. But I choose kindness today.”

You can learn to lead with compassion—not fear.

Address

Rabat

Website

https://mt.linkedin.com/in/caroline-vassallo-6415b17a

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