11/04/2026
Why we abandon ourselves to be loved
At some point, you learned that being fully yourself wasn’t safe.
So you adjusted.
You softened your opinions.
You ignored your needs.
You became who you thought they would stay for.
Self-abandonment isn’t weakness, it’s adaptation.
It often begins in relationships where love felt conditional:
“I’ll be accepted if I’m less of me.”
But the cost is quiet and heavy.
You don’t just lose the relationship when it ends…
You lose yourself inside it.
Healing is learning this:
The right connection won’t require you to disappear.
Love shouldn’t feel like leaving yourself behind.