Dr Donatella Agius- Psychiatrist

21/08/2025

🎂✨ Another year has flown by! And let’s be honest, many of us (myself included 🙋🏻‍♀️) tend to grumble about getting older—especially now that I’m officially approaching the “middle ages” era 😅.

But this year, I’ve decided to take a positive outlook and see this birthday as an achievement. It’s been a year full of lessons 📚, hurdles ⛰️, and milestones 🏆. Most importantly, I’ve learnt how to respect and love myself as I am 💙.

As a psychiatrist 🧠, I always talk about the importance of taking care of our mental health—not just through holidays ✈️, sleep 😴, or breaks ☕—but also by setting boundaries 🚧, respecting ourselves ❤️, and not tolerating disrespect 🚫. To truly help others in my work, I need to take care of myself first.

This year, I made myself proud 🙌. I reached personal goals that, as a woman 👩 and mother of three , I once thought were “not for me” because society often says, “that’s a man’s job.” Well… I proved that if I want it, it’s my job too 💪😉 and you can do it too!

A big thank you to my husband Gabriel Agius and my parents Pauline Gauci and Andrew Gauci without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And yes, even thank you to those who didn’t believe in me—you gave me the fire 🔥 to keep going.

Thank you everyone for your lovely wishes 🎉💌. Today, I’ll rest 🛋️—so that tomorrow, I can go back to doing what I love most: helping people 🤝💙.

03/08/2025

🌧️ “Inħossni dgħajjef għax kelli naqgħa għall-għajnuna… għax qiegħed nieħu l-mediċina.”

Din hija xi ħaġa li nisma’ ħafna minn nies li jbatu mid-depressjoni – u taqsamli qalbi. 💔

Ejja npoġġuha ċara:
Id-depressjoni mhix sinjal ta’ dgħjufija.
Mhi la difett fil-karattru u lanqas għax int “wisq sensittiv” jew “għax int weak”.

🧠 Id-depressjoni hija kundizzjoni medika.
Tinvolvi bidliet fil-kimika tal-moħħ, speċjalment tnaqqis fil-livell ta’ serotonin– sustanza li taffettwa l-burdata, l-irqad, l-aptit u l-enerġija.

Iva, jista’ jkun li tiġi wara ġrajjiet stressanti fil-ħajja…
Imma ġeneralment jiġri f’nies li diġà għandhom predispożizzjoni ġenetika.

Fi kliem ieħor, mhux tort tiegħek – hija taħlita ta’ bijoloġija u ċirkostanzi tal-ħajja. 🧬⚖️

💬 U xorta nisma’ kummenti bħal:
🔸 “Trid tagħmel kuraġġ u tqum fuq saqajha.”
🔸 “Kulħadd iħossu mdejjaq xi drabi – trid tissaporti.”
🔸 “Jekk dan qed iweġġagħha, x’kien jiġri kieku għaddiet minn xi ħaġa verament serja?”
🔸 “Persuna X għaddiet minn ħafna u baqgħet soda – għaliex binti spiċċat b’depressjoni?”

Dawn huma kummenti ġejjin minn nuqqas ta’ għarfien dwar is-saħħa mentali.
Minn twemmin antik li d-depressjoni tfisser nuqqas ta’ rieda jew motivazzjoni.
U jistgħu jkunu ferm ta’ ħsara għal min diġà qed ibati. 😞

🧪 Ejja nagħtu eżempju:
Żewġ persuni jpejpu.
Wieħed jpejjep għal 40 sena u ma jiġrilu xejn.
L-ieħor jpejjep għal 25 sena u jiżviluppa l-kanċer tal-pulmun.
Ngħidulu “dgħajjef”?
Le. Nifhmu li ġismu rrisponda b’mod differenti.

L-istess jgħodd għall-moħħ.
Għax persuna waħda għaddiet minn trawma u baqgħet sejra, ma jfissirx li oħra li żviluppat depressjoni hija “dgħajfa”.
Il-moħħ, bħall-ġisem, huwa uniku għal kull persuna. 🧠💡

📣 Wasal iż-żmien li nbiddlu d-diskors.
Jekk xi ħadd jiżviluppa d-depressjoni jew kundizzjoni oħra mentali:
❌ Mhux għax falla
❌ Mhux għax hu dgħajjef
✅ Imma għax huwa bniedem li l-ġisem jew il-moħħ tiegħu qed jirreaġixxu għall-uġigħ.

U tfittex l-għajnuna?
Dak hu l-kuraġġ, mhux id-dgħjufija. 💪
Tibda l-mediċina jew terapija?
Dak hu att ta’ responsabilta’ u għarfien personali. 💊❤️

Allura ejja nieqfu ngħidu:
🚫 “Qum fuq saqajk u kompli.”
🚫 “Aħseb pożittiv.”
🚫 “M’hemmx għalfejn tkun depress.”

U minflok ngħidu:
✅ “Nara li qed tgħaddi minn mument diffiċli – jien hawn għalik.”
✅ “M’hemm xejn ħażin li jkollok bżonn għajnuna.”
✅ “Int qed tagħmel l-aħjar li tista’, u dan hu biżżejjed.”

🌿 Is-saħħa mentali hija vera.
💚 Tista’ titfejjaq.
🧠 U għandha tiġi ttrattata b’dinjità u rispett daqs kwalunkwe marda oħra fiżika.

Ejja nkissru l-istigma.
Ejja nieqfu niġġudikaw.
Ejja nżidu l-għarfien.

Għax is-saħħa mentali hi saħħa.

03/08/2025

🌧️ “I feel so weak for needing help… for needing medication.”

This is something I often hear from people struggling with depression — and it breaks my heart every time. 💔

Let me say this clearly:
Depression is not a sign of weakness.
It’s not a character flaw.
It’s not because you’re “too emotional” or “too sensitive.”

🧠 Depression is a real medical condition.
It involves chemical changes in the brain, particularly a drop in serotonin — a neurotransmitter that affects mood, sleep, energy, and appetite.

Yes, it can be triggered by stressful life events…
Most likely in people who are already genetically predisposed to it.
In other words, it’s not your fault — it’s biology plus life circumstances. 🧬⚖️

💬 And yet, I still hear things like:
🔸 “She just needs to pull herself together.”
🔸 “She should push harder — everyone feels down sometimes.”
🔸 “If she’s struggling with this, what would happen if something really serious came her way?”
🔸 “Person X went through worse and didn’t fall apart — why is my daughter depressed?”

These kinds of comments come from a misunderstanding of mental health.
They come from the outdated belief that depression is simply a lack of willpower.
And they can be deeply damaging and isolating to those who are already struggling. 😞

🧪 Let me give you a physical health comparison:
Two people smoke.
One smokes for 40 years and never gets sick.
Another smokes for 25 years and gets lung cancer.
Do we call the second person “weak”?
No — we understand that different people’s bodies react differently to the same stressor.

Mental health is the same.
Just because one person went through a trauma and “seemed fine” doesn’t mean someone else is weaker for being affected.
Brains, like bodies, are different. 🧠💡

📣 It’s time to change the narrative.
If someone develops depression or anxiety, or any psychiatric condition, it’s not because they failed.
It’s not because they didn’t try hard enough.
It’s because they are human, and their mind and body are responding to pain the best way they know how.

And asking for help?
That’s not weakness — that’s courage. 💪
Starting therapy or taking medication?
That’s not defeat — that’s self-awareness and strength. 💊❤️

So let’s stop saying:
🚫 “Just be stronger.”
🚫 “Just think positive.”
🚫 “You have no reason to be depressed.”

And instead start saying:
✅ “I see you’re struggling — I’m here for you.”
✅ “It’s okay to need support.”
✅ “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”

🌿 Mental illness is real.
💚 It’s treatable.
🧠 And it deserves the same compassion and understanding as any physical illness.

Let’s break the stigma.
Let’s stop judging and start listening.
Because mental health is health.

30/07/2025

💊 Ejja nitkellmu dwar il-mediċini psikjatriċi 🧠

Fil-ħidma tiegħi ta’ kuljum bħala psikjatra, nara ħafna nies jitħabtu ma’ ansjetà, dipressjoni u problemi oħra tas-saħħa mentali. Ħafna minnhom jistgħu jħossuhom aħjar b’kura tajba—pero’ jibżgħu jieħdu l-mediċini.

Għaliex?

Għax għad hemm ħafna ħrejjef, biżgħat u opinjonijiet żbaljati dwar il-mediċini psikjatriċi, speċjalment dwar l-antidepressanti bħal SSRIs.

Ejja nikkjarifikaw xi ħrejjef komuni li nisimgħu spiss 👇

❌ Ħrafa 1: “L-antidepressanti jibdlu l-personalità tiegħi.”
✅ Fatt: Le, ma jbiddlux il-personalità tiegħek. Jgħinu biex jitnaqqsu sintomi bħal dwejjaq kostanti, ħsibijiet żejda, nuqqas ta’ enerġija jew problemi ta’ rqad. Meta dawn is-sintomi jitjiebu, ħafna jgħidu: “Inħossni ġejt lura għan-normal tiegħi.”

❌ Ħrafa 2: “Jikkawżaw dipendenza.”
✅ Fatt: Antidepressanti bħal SSRIs mhumiex vizzjużi. Ma jkollokx bżonn doża ikbar biex jaħdmu, u ma ssirx dipendenti fuqhom. Huma differenti minn mediċini bħal kalmanti jew pilloli tal-irqad, li jistgħu jkunu vizzjużi jekk jintużaw ħażin.

❌ Ħrafa 3: “Jekk nibda nħossni agħar, ma jgħoddux għalija.”
✅ Fatt: Xi nies iħossuhom ftit imħawdin fl-ewwel ġranet—għajjenin, imdardrin jew iktar anżjużi. Dan hu normali u ġeneralment jgħaddi fi żmien ġimgħa jew tnejn. Ma jfissirx li l-mediċina hija ħażina. Agħti ċans lill-ġisem tiegħek jadatta.

❌ Ħrafa 4: “Ma ħassejtx differenza minnufih—ma jaħdmux.”
✅ Fatt: L-antidepressanti ma jaħdmux mill-ewwel. Ġeneralment jieħdu 2–4 ġimgħat biex jibdew jaħdmu, u kultant aktar biex juru riżultat. Il-fatt li ma jaħdmux minnufih ma jfissirx li mhumiex effettivi. Jeħtieġ paċenzja u xi kultant tibdil fid-doża.

⏳ Se niddiskutu aktar ħrejjef fil-jiem li ġejjin – żommu ruħkom aġġornati.

Ejja niġġieldu l-istigma flimkien. 🧡

30/07/2025

💊 Let’s talk about Psychiatric medications 🧠

In my daily work as a psychiatrist, I see many people struggling with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. Many could feel better with proper treatment—but they’re afraid to take medication.

Why?

Because there are still a lot of myths, fears, and misunderstandings about psychiatric meds, especially antidepressants like SSRIs.

Let’s clear up some of the most common myths I hear 👇

❌ Myth 1: “Antidepressants will change my personality.”

✅ Fact: They don’t change your personality. What they do is help with symptoms like constant sadness, worry, low energy, or sleep problems. Once those symptoms improve, people often say, “I feel like myself again.”

❌ Myth 2: “They’re addictive.”

✅ Fact: Antidepressants like SSRIs are not addictive. You won’t crave them or need higher and higher doses to get the same effect. They’re different from drugs like benzodiazepines or sleeping pills, which can lead to dependence if misused.

❌ Myth 3: “If I feel worse in the beginning, they must be bad for me.”

✅ Fact: It’s true that some people feel a bit off—tired, nauseous, or more anxious—in the first few days. This usually settles down within a week or two. It doesn’t mean the medication is wrong or dangerous. Give your body time to adjust.

❌ Myth 4: “I didn’t feel better immediately- they do not work”

✅ Fact: Antidepressants are not quick fixes. They usually take 2–4 weeks to start working, and sometimes a bit longer to show full results. Just because they don’t work instantly doesn’t mean they’re not working at all. It takes patience, and sometimes dosage adjustments.

Keep tuned . More myths will be discussed in the next couple of days.

Let’s fight stigma together. 🧡

28/07/2025

Relationships are never 50/50...the healthy ones anyways...

“Sometimes it’s 80/20. Sometimes it’s 60/40. The deal is: you bring whatever you have, and I will bring the rest.”
– Brené Brown

We often think relationships should be 50/50. That both people show up equally, every day. But real life doesn’t work like that. Some days, one person is tired, overwhelmed, or just not at their best. Expecting perfect balance every day sets couples up for disappointment and resentment.

Brené Brown’s perspective invites us to look at love differently. As a s*x and relationship psychotherapist, I see this all the time. Healthy couples are not those who split tasks or emotions down the middle. They are the ones who are honest about where they’re at and who lean in when the other needs more.

There’s a strong psychological foundation to this. According to equity theory, what matters most is not equal effort at all times but a sense of fairness over time. Both partners need to feel that the give and take evens out in the long run. It’s not about keeping score but about trust and mutual investment.

Attachment theory also plays a role. In secure relationships, partners feel safe to say, “I’m not okay today” or “I need help.” There’s no shame in that. In fact, it builds intimacy. When someone says, “I only have 20 today,” and the other replies, “I’ve got the 80,” it strengthens the bond. Over time, each partner learns they are not alone in the hard moments.

This back-and-forth is what psychologists call co-regulation. When one partner is stressed, the other can help soothe and stabilise the emotional atmosphere. This only works when both people are emotionally aware and open to talking honestly about what they need.

Some days, both people will be struggling. That’s when the couple needs to pause, get curious, and respond with care. Brené and her partner even make a “kindness plan” on days when their combined energy is under 100 percent. That might mean ordering takeout, cancelling plans, or just being gentler with each other.

This approach is not just for couples. If you’re single, it’s a helpful lens through which to reflect on past relationships and consider what kind of partnership you want. Look for someone who shows up, even when it’s inconvenient, and be that person too.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal. What matters is the commitment to show up for each other with honesty and care. It’s not always going to be balanced, but it can still be loving and strong.

Relationships are a connection between two imperfect people trying to do their best. The goal is not perfection. The goal is presence.

Bring what you have. Ask for what you need. And remember: love isn’t about splitting everything in half. It’s about carrying each other, especially when life feels heavy.

25/07/2025

15/07/2025

Nkompli ma’ dak li ktibt ilbieraħ…

Jien qatt ma għidt li l-Isptar Mount Carmel huwa ideali 🏥. Lanqas xejn. Hemm bżonn serju ta’ ristrutturar, titjib fil-faċilitajiet, u ambjent aħjar kemm għall-pazjenti kif ukoll għall-istaff 🛠️.

Imma dan m’għandux jagħmilna nibżgħu minnu 😔.

Mount Carmel hu bħalissa l-uniku sptar pubbliku fejn jittieħdu n-nies li jkunu f’riskju serju li jagħmlu ħsara lilhom infushom jew lil ħaddieħor ⚠️. Jekk xi ħadd ikun fi kriżi mentali — suicidali b’mod serju u mhux f’pożizzjoni li jżomm ruħu sigur — irid jittieħed għal kura 💔.

F’dik is-sitwazzjoni, tippreferi titlef lil xi ħadd għażiż għalik għas-suwiċidju 💔🕊️ milli tħallih iqatta’ ftit jiem f’Mount Carmel biex jieħu l-għajnuna li jeħtieġ? Tippreferi tirriskja ħajtek, jew ta’ xi ħadd ieħor, minħabba l-biża’ u t-taboo?

Dan mhux każ li nippretendu li Mount Carmel hu perfett — għax mhuwiex. Imma sakemm ikollna alternattiva aħjar, huwa l-unika post fejn pazjenti f’riskju għoli jistgħu jingħataw kura bla ħlas 🆓.

Is- lPsychiatric Unit li xi wħud semmew kienet utli ✅, imma qatt ma ħadet post Mount Carmel. Kienet toffri kura għal pazjenti li ma kinux f’riskju serju. Il-pazjenti suicidali dejjem ġew trattati f’Mount Carmel — għax hemm fejn hemm ir-riżorsi u s-superviżjoni meħtieġa.

Li jweġġagħni ħafna 💔 hu meta nisma’ professjonisti fil-qasam tas-saħħa mentali jitkellmu ħażin dwar l-isptar — u b’hekk iżidu l-istigma, flok jaħdmu biex jitjieb is-sistema minn ġewwa 🙁.

Aħna lkoll għandna nixtiequ servizzi aħjar 🕊️. Għandna niġġieldu għal sistema aktar umana, moderna u b’dinjità 💪🧠.

Imma sakemm naslu s’hemm, ejjew ma nibżgħux nitkellmu ċar u ma nbeżżgħux lin-nies mill-unika għażla li tista’ ssalvalhom ħajjithom.

Ma nistgħux naċċettaw li nkomplu nitilfu aktar ħajjiet għax in-nies qed jibżgħu jitolbu l-għajnuna 💬🙏.

15/07/2025

Following up on what I shared yesterday…💭

I’m not saying that Mount Carmel Hospital is ideal 🏥. It’s not. It needs serious restructuring, more modern facilities, and a better environment for both patients and staff 🛠️.

But that doesn’t mean we should turn it into something to be feared 😔.

Mount Carmel is currently the only public hospital available for people who are at serious risk of harming themselves or others ⚠️. If someone is in a mental health crisis — severely suicidal, overwhelmed, unable to cope — and can’t be safely supported at home or in the community, they need to be admitted 💔.

In that moment, would you rather risk losing your loved one to su***de 💔🕊️ than let them spend a few days in Mount Carmel to get the help they need? Would you rather risk your own life, or someone else’s, because of fear, stigma, or taboos?

This isn’t about pretending Mount Carmel is perfect — it’s far from it. But until we have a better alternative, it is the only place where high-risk patients can be treated safely, free of charge 🆓.

The Psychiatric Unit is being frequently mentioned on the social media and indeed was very helpful ✅, but it never replaced Mount Carmel. It looked after patients who were not a danger to themselves or others. Suicidal patients have always been treated at Mount Carmel — because that’s where the necessary care and observation is available.

What truly saddens me 💔 is hearing fellow mental health professionals speak badly about the hospital — adding to the stigma, instead of working to change the system from within 🙁.

We should all want better 🕊️. We should all fight for more humane, more modern mental health services 💪🧠. But until that happens, let’s not shame or scare people away from the only option that can save lives in a crisis.

We simply can’t afford to lose more people to su***de because they’re too afraid to ask for help 💬🙏.