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01/01/2023

To a 2023 filled with levity ✨

28/08/2022

I had heard so many horror stories about breastfeeding

I also had some key positive ones, especially from my mom, that gave me strength

but I truly believe each situation is unique and moms gotta do what they want and can

my “goal” before coming into this was to not have a goal!

then i did have a lot of supply right away, so i thought “let’s do this if it is coming naturally”!

the first two months of breastfeeding was one of the hardest things i’ve done! baby g was an “endurance nurser”! every feed was 45-60 min but i did have the supply and my mom and ryan were great supporters

things progressed so i dared set a goal and told myself i’d try nursing until 6 months but if it didn’t happen i was not gonna pressure myself

we made it to 6 months…and 8, 9,…so I believed we would make it to 12. so we did!

now at 14 I really feel like I’m in unknown foreign yet very empowering territory. I don’t feel like there is any goal to set, neither do I want one. I’ve “ran the marathon” you know?!

I’ve only grown more resilient and better at taking care of myself with this experience, besides obviously nurturing, comforting, and feeding her.

this is all to say im very grateful, it is possible, and yet each story is soooo unique

30/06/2022

Here is a before >> 💦🤸🏻‍♀️💦 >> and after!

She was fine, a little spooked, but fine!

Papai on the other hand had to learn to tone it down a little 😆

They continue to practice it everyday (doing wonders to mamãe’s anxiety 🤪), and she seems to like it 🤷🏻‍♀️

26/06/2022

🌵🎉 Fiesta Surpresa 🎉🌵

To celebrate my two June loves.

22/06/2022

One year of Baby G
One year of being parents
One year of being a family of three
One year of breastfeeding
One year of pumping
One year of cleaning G’s butt
One year of doctor appointments
One year of (so many) naps
One year of putting G to bed holding her hand
One year of a new body (which I love)
One year of caring to stay healthy for myself and for her sake
One year of over isolating to protect her
One year of much lighter sleep
One year of freaking out every time Gaia barks during a nap
One year of walking and talking quietly through the house during naps
One year of bath time with Papai
One year of giving constant unconditional love and dedication
One year of feeling the best kind of love and so much more!

Happy first trip around the sun meu pacotinho!

19/06/2022

We haven’t even left and its already been a trip 🤪

If you’re flying this summer and you’re not tsa-precheck (😭☠️) come 3 hours in advance to your airport! 😱

This girl and us as a family of three are turning ONE, so we are celebrating! 🎉😆

08/05/2022

Motherhood is the place I feel most present in life. There is no hiding, numbing, flying, or fighting it. It demands of me and I choose to be there for it.

I’ve never shared pictures of when baby G was born because it was the hardest day of my life, and her labor was the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Not because of her or nature. But because of unexpected circumstances and unnecessary medical interventions (maybe for a later post).

What was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life ended up ALSO being one of the most nerve racking times. Navigating the first days of motherhood were wrapped in fear because of it.

The last photo in this collection is my favorite photo as a mom because it was the first one I looked afterwards and saw myself being happy (yes) but also completely carefree and able to be the mom I was always meant to be.

Since then I’ve been in my power and I own it.

Thank you baby G for giving me the experience of a lifetime. I’m always growing into a better person because of you. I love being your mom.

13/04/2022

When baby G hit a week old I could not believe how hard it had already been to be a parent. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to survive up to week two, or three, or four… let alone nine months (where we are now). I had a hard time understanding how parenthood was even possible! How was the whole world doing this?! Have all the women I know to be moms been through these hard experiences?! How are all of them still alive and functioning?! And how are some women wanting to have more babies?!!! Did they not experience labor and pp like I did?!

I love my daughter. I love her more than anything in this world! But being a parent was SO freaking hard at the beginning, and still is! Yes, it got better as the weeks passed! Yes, things got easier the more I did them and understood my baby. But dang it! It consumed my life!

I had great help during my postpartum from family. And it was still hard!

I had the privilege (in this country) to have four months of (UNPAID) maternity leave (meaning I chose to take the time off of work to HEAL and take care of my baby). And still, I struggled with the “going back” to work and juggling all the things.

I have child care now through a nanny share. But I still find myself “mommying” all the time!

Before baby G I used to tell people I wanted to be a parent because I couldn’t see myself going through life without experiencing the challenge of raising a human by becoming a better one. Oh and life did deliver me a challenge! And continues to do so everyday. There is not one step of parenthood that I haven’t failed, struggled, or learned from. And yet, I am indeed a better human since Giu. I am a stronger woman, wife, mom, and person to myself. I am proud of myself, maybe to a level I’ve never been before. Not by having everything feel perfect in my life. No, quite the contrary! But by accepting myself for who I am, and recognizing my growth and good intentions.

I still very much struggle with understanding who I am as mom because I’m still new to this identity. But I’m here for her. And I’m here for the new dad Ryan. And I’m here for the energy that the two of us and baby G create together. I love us!

21/02/2022

We’ve been trying to teach her to blow kisses for a month and nothing. She saw us whistling (for the only purpose of imitating birds because she loves them - not to teach her) for the past two days and she’s obsessed.

She has us under her finger!

I love you so much kid!

Happy

21/01/2022

I wrote and rewrote this post many times. It’s hard to explain what this past month in Brazil was for me.

It was a time to reconnect with family and friends after 3 years apart.

It was a time for Ryan and I to grow confident in our parenting skills and proud of us as a couple.

It was a time for Giulia to meet half of her family, receive all the outpouring love everyone was ready to give, and experience life in Brazil.

During this trip we got to see her first time sitting, crawling, and eating food. But most of all, we got to be fully present for every second of it.

For the first time in at least a decade I got to live with my parents and brother again under the same roof. We had some heated moments, but overall it was truly amazing.

By this point only a few of you are still reading this. But if you ever get the chance to pause day to day life for a longer trip and/or to spend more time with family TAKE IT! Nobody ever regrets it! I know to appreciate this type of opportunity, because it’s always a privilege.

AND if you’ve just had a kid, then I recommend it even more!

18/12/2021

My baby is growing so fast!!! Giu you’re such a fun girl. We can’t get enough of you!

You tire us up so much we long for nap time. But then we keep looking at the baby monitor waiting for you to wake up 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Thank you for bringing our inner child out to play everyday.

This year’s recap made me feel all the feels 💕

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