The Sacred Journey of Motherhood

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The Sacred Journey of Motherhood

Through education and empowerment we can return pregnancy and childbirth to its sacred container and take the power back into our own hands, where it belongs.

06/01/2022

3:16am
Deep in the night, just you and I by the glow of candlelight. 🕯
Life with a newborn: magical and exhausting, short and endless, tearful and heart-expanding. Truly all-encompassing ☯️

01/01/2022

You know you’re in newborn land when you ring in the new year with an 8pm bedtime 😴🎊

20/12/2021

I think back on my pregnancy with R with a knowing smile of compassion and amusement. First trimester, all I could think about was what was safe to consume, what was off limits and mostly how to avoid vomiting in sessions with clients. My second trimester all I could think about was writing my thesis and finishing grad school. During my third trimester all I could think about was giving birth and MAYBE the first forty days postpartum, beyond that was just darkness. I couldn’t imagine actually carrying forward with my life as a mother, I had no idea how it would look or how we would manage. Now I am living into what was once an inky void and I have begun to integrate the bigness of Mother into my being. My son is no longer an infant, and who knew I would love toddlerdom so much?! Who knew we would find a way to delicately balance work, play, family, and self? (Forever recalibrating and reorienting). Who knew that I would feel more like myself again, but somehow more expansive and with so much more depth? The transformation of motherhood never ceases to work in, on, and through us, this can be a lifetime spiritual path of devotion.

15/12/2021

As we near Christmas, a time of great consumerism, I am reminded how little my son needs to enjoy himself, his greatest toy is his imagination. He does not need a million toys to be fulfilled, he simply enjoys being included in the everyday activities of life. He loves being given a job like whisking the eggs for breakfast, or ripping up the kale for dinner, or putting the laundry in the machine. He will watch an entire 45 minute wash cycle with his Baba and come home and tell me all about how fast it spins and the sound it makes. He will spend 20 minutes collecting a random assortment of household items which become “clothing” or “food” and put them in bags and boxes which become “washer machines” and “refrigerators.” I read in the beautiful book Early Riser Companion by Elizabeth Antonia, as a guideline for holiday gifts “ something you want, something you need, one little something, and something to read.” So, reminder to self and whomever this resonates with, buy less, buy local, buy second hand, buy regenerative, buy nothing.

12/12/2021

Soft belly. Full, tender breasts. Aching muscles. Sleepy eyes. Tangled hair. Bursting heart. 💗

10/12/2021

That moment when you catch your own baby after the freebirth of your dreams ✨ pure otherworldly magic.

30/11/2021

I am reminded of the early days, in the quiet, aloneness of the deep night. In full and constant devotion and service to my healing body and my baby. The relief of the sunrise and beholding my glowing child, still emanating so brightly from the beyond.

24/11/2021

After giving having a homebirth and experiencing the power of my body and the ancient psyche supporting me, I felt simultaneously unstoppable, strangely fragile, and more vulnerable than ever. All of a sudden I could feel the preciousness of life in a way I never had before. I was alive not just for myself, but I was now divinely intertwined with another so dependent on me for survival. The weight of this responsibility felt like life’s greatest honor and simply crushing at the same time. I have always been a risk taker, throwing myself into experiences with a confidence in myself and my competence that has navigated me through life. In my early postpartum I felt fearful to swim in the ocean, becoming a mother was really the first time I committed to life, no more one foot in one foot out, this place is my home now in a wholly new way. While I’m no longer fearful in the same way, I am totally the person on the highway letting speedy people pass without hesitation and I am thankful for this new dimension where I can hold life with more care than ever before.

23/11/2021

“There is a power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying with it a child.”
— Sheryl Feldman

18/11/2021

In a culture tragically disconnected to the natural rhythms of the planet I have set the intention to create ritual around the seasons (esp in southern CA where the seasons are much more subtle, I grew up in MA where they are not the least bit coy). We are pulling out the wool socks, the seasonal children’s books, the squash, pumpkin, cinnamon and apple, we are lighting candles, and collecting leaves, flowers, petals, sticks, and stones for our nature table. I dearly wanted to go apple picking, but farms with organic apples are hard to come by, we found one... although it’s a little far away, so we’ll have to make a trip of it. What are some of your favorite rituals to invite and celebrate the season?

07/11/2021

Moving closer towards the birth portal once more has me processing Marlin’s birth all over again. My son, your birth is the only one I have viscerally known. I look back on my preparation and pregnancy. It was wild and my own, free from the medical system. I held so firmly the belief in my body to do everything it was supposed to. I argued fiercely for the intrinsic knowledge of the feminine form. The only fear I processed was the fear of the unknown, for I had no other imprint of birth to go by. Perhaps it was my naïveté that saved us. For we travelled through the underworld and back together and came through the adversity of your birth alive, in awe, and embodying the most powerful proof that our bodies are made to birth. Many times I feel that really “I” wasn’t present at times during your birth. The energy which overtook every cell of my body was the ancient fortitude of the generations of women before me. The current of the divine feminine swept through my body with every wave. I was lifted to stand by them. I was given breath by them. I was held conscious by the power that is silently hibernating within every single birthing woman, shaken awake only by the last effort cry. Oh my love, we proved the impossible possible. My first baby, 10lbs 8oz of pure breech perfection. Your birth is my love letter to you. I did my best 💛

This baby will have their own story, of which I am manifesting joy and ease 😉 At least I know now the strength that resides inside of me should I need to call upon it. 🐺🌕💫 And for that I am grateful 🙏🏽

05/11/2021

The journey continues…two and a half years of sharing my body’s nourishment with you. Nursing has been a big struggle at times, the times I want my body to be my own again, the times I feel exhausted after nursing all night, the times I feel “touched out.” I also cherish this connection, sharing this sacred time and space with you, smelling your hair, snuggling your little self close to me, co-regulating our nervous systems as you nuzzle in. What a humbling gift it has been. Never did I think I would have made it this long, I was just hoping to get past the six month mark. I honor and bow to the ways this connection still serves us both and know that when you’re done I will let go with tears in my eyes. You have cracked me open my child. The motherhood path is a path of awakening if we let it work in, on, and through us.

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