12/04/2026
“Actually, Grandma Was Just Afraid of Spending Money 其实婆婆只是怕花钱”
There was once a time when a family asked me to bring their grandmother, who lives alone, out to buy some daily necessities and get some fresh air.
Because of her weak legs, she hadn’t gone out for a long time.
When I arrived at her house, she suddenly said she didn’t want to go anymore.
Her reason was that her legs were weak, and she was afraid she would get breathless if she walked too much.
I immediately called her family to discuss, and after quite a bit of gentle persuasion, she finally agreed to go out.
During the few hours we spent together, it was clear that she was happy and truly enjoying herself—especially when she got to eat the curry noodles she had been craving for so long.
Only after she gradually warmed up and let her guard down did she open up and tell me:
“Actually, I’m just afraid of making my children spend money on me.”
That was when it suddenly clicked for me—why she had changed her mind the moment she found out the service required payment.
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In fact, this fear of “spending money” is not an isolated case.
There was an uncle who fell seriously ill. After being bedridden for a long time, when he finally returned home, his legs no longer responded well, and his balance had deteriorated. He could only walk slowly with a walking stick and by holding onto the wall.
When he came to our centre and the gym, he knew that exercise could help him. He even witnessed the progress of other elderly individuals.
But no matter how much we encouraged him to join, he refused.
His reasons were always:
“My back hurts, my hands hurt… last time I tried, my legs were so sore—it made things worse.”
And so, months passed.
One day, when it was just the two of us chatting, I once again encouraged him to try exercising at the gym.
He casually replied, “No… it costs money. I don’t want my children to spend money on me. They already have a lot of burdens.”
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It is understandable that many elderly people are afraid of spending money.
Their generation didn’t have the same opportunities we have today. They worked hard all their lives, saving and sacrificing for their families.
But what they may not realize is this—
if they are unwilling to spend a little now to strengthen their legs and maintain mobility,
the cost they may have to bear later, when they can no longer walk, could be 10 or even 20 times higher.
Caregiving fees, nursing home expenses, diapers, wheelchairs, hospital beds, frequent doctor visits…
And more importantly, a significant decline in quality of life.
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So when our parents immediately say “no,”
perhaps we can take a little more time to understand the real reason behind their reluctance.
It could be fear of spending money, fear of inconvenience, or fear that they won’t be able to do it.
With a bit more patience and communication, and by gently explaining the reasons behind it,
many of them are actually able to feel our good intentions—and slowly become willing to try.
Written by: Siew Mei - Pharmacist | Active Ageing Advocate
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【其实婆婆只是怕花钱】
有一次，受到孩子的委托，要带独居的婆婆出门买日用品，顺便散散心。
婆婆因为腿脚不方便，好长一段时间没有出门了。
我开车来到门口，婆婆竟然说他不去了！她给我的原因是脚没有力，怕走多会很喘。
马上打电话和家人交涉，再和婆婆沟通了好一阵子，婆婆终于愿意出门啦！
和她相处的几个小时，可以看得出婆婆是很开心也很享受的，尤其是可以吃到她心心念念的咖喱面。
婆婆的心逐渐软化后，才敞开心胸告诉我说：其实我是怕给我孩子花钱。
这时我才恍然大悟，为什么婆婆在知道是收费的过后，突然改变主意。
事实上，这样的【怕花钱】不是个别事件！
一位伯伯生了一场大病后，因为躺病床太久，回到家时，脚就没办法听使唤，平衡感也退步了，只能靠Tongkat 和扶着墙壁慢慢走动。
来到活伴中心和健身房，他知道运动能够帮助他，也目睹一些其他老年人的进步，但是不管怎么劝他一起去健身房运动，他都不愿意。
理由是：我腰会痛，我手会痛，上次做了一次脚很酸，弄到我更加严重。
就这样过了好几个月。
有一天，刚好只剩下我们两位在聊天，我再次劝伯伯一起过去健身房，他突然不经意的说：“不了，要花钱，我不要让我的孩子花钱在我的身上了，他们很多负担的。“
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老人家怕花钱，这是可以理解的，因为上一辈没有好像我们一样这么幸运，他们很多是辛辛苦苦存钱养家，一路这样节省过来的。
但是他们不知道的是，不花一些小钱把腿练起来，没办法走路时，需要花的钱会是现在的10倍20倍：照护费或者养老院的费用，尿布，轮椅，病床，看医生等等等。
重点是，坐在轮椅上还要受气！
所以当父母一开口就拒绝的时候，不妨花一些时间来试探一下他们不愿意参与的原因，也许是怕花钱、怕麻烦、怕自己做不到。
多一点耐心沟通，好好解释背后的原因，
很多时候，他们是能够感受到我们的用心，也愿意慢慢尝试的。
文：Siew Mei 药剂师 | 乐龄关怀工作者
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