Dr. Reshma Stanislaus

21/01/2026

I don't usually post about celebrities, but, boy does the body language in this picture make sense after yesterday's announcement.

It looks like the pic was supposed to stop at the end of a pointy (black and cream) heel and a cold shoulder.

Family dysfunction isn't always obvious.

Family dysfunction happens even in those families who "Look Great on Paper" or in the press, as the case may be.

I am wont to believe those who speak out because, they dared to rock the boat (despite tremendous pressure to toe the line).

They speak out despite the fact that they are often in a position of lesser power/influence and may not be supported, or their claims may be trivialized or worse still, the abuser may DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse, Victim and Offender) them.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

21/01/2026

Do Personality Disordered Individuals Exist in the Caring Professions?

A person who is highly sociopathic/psychopathic/narcissistic or who has any of the dark triad personality traits can be extremely intelligent, eloquent and charming.

To slightly change a famous quote:

They can be abusive to some people, some of the time, and some people all the time, but they would not be abusive to everyone, all of the time. That is how abuse is hidden.

Actions speak louder than words and intention matters as well (many of those with the aformentioned dark triad traits do "all the right things, for all the wrong reasons", serving their own agenda).

We have to be mindful and aware of those individuals who can turn on the charm when it suits them and at other times are harmful to others, especially those who they have nothing to gain from.

21/01/2026

Join us Tuesday 1/27/2026 at 6PM ET for our 3rd Annual Everything is Connected to Everything webinar, presented by Dr. Mel Houser. Tickets by donation (supporting All Brains Belong's free community & education programming) at

Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving the Healthcare of Autistic and ADHD Adults - a free webinar, Tues 1/27/2026.

15/01/2026

~What Ponggal Teaches Us About Gratitude~

Ponggal is a harvest festival, celebrated by many Indians, all over the world. The word ponggal itself is commonly understood as “to boil over” or “to overflow” and the underlying theme of Ponggal is one of gratitude.

In agricultural societies, this gratitude is for the sun, rain, harvest and animals, as well as for human labour. In modern times, Ponggal invites us to say, "We did not achieve this through our own efforts alone." That self-reflection and humility is both grounding and healing. In essence, it is recognizing that abundance is not just about what we receive; it is also about acknowledging and honouring the sources behind it. It is a day to be thankful and to be open to welcoming more into your life, to be shared with others (just like the sweet ponggal).

Most societies have rituals and traditions that underpin the importance of gratitude. Gratitude is something that is integral for mental health and well-being. When we notice our blessings and are grateful for them, our brains rewire so that neural pathways linked to positive emotions strengthen. Stress hormones decrease, whilst neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin increase. Gratitude literally changes the brain, making it easier to find joy, increase resilience and recover from stress.

What is one thing you are grateful for today?

Wishing all those who celebrate a Happy Ponggal!

* Image taken from the internet

06/01/2026

06/01/2026

Today was my son's first day of school at a new school. After 2 years at a regular kindergarten and a break in between, we enrolled him into a school for children with special needs. It's not special needs really. It is simply the need for more support. Before I carry on, I just want to assert that I am writing this to express how it is entirely possible to love your child for who they are, support their needs, whilst simultaneously grieving the milestones that they will miss.

I had researched a number of different schools and visited a few over the past few months. We finally decided on this one. We got him ready for school and took his first day picture (at home). As my husband, Dev, parked the car, he turned to him and said, "Thank you ride me (Thank you for driving me), Daddy. " It's usually me who sends him and picks him up from everywhere, so Daddy gets the effusive "Thank you". What else is new? Haha. First day of school, so Daddy made a point to be there.

Ishaan was happy and excited to go. He got out of the car and happily took his bag before going into the school. We dropped him off into the safe hands of one of the teachers. As we were leaving, Dev mentioned that he was not so sure about the school...

I asked Dev if it was really about the school or the fact that he has to go to a special school in the first place, and not a regular school. When I said that, Dev teared up. I did as well. As a parent of a child who has extra support needs, there is a lot of joy that we experience (from who he is as a person as anyone who knows him can attest to), but there is also grief. The joy pretty much overrides the grief and the grief is managed by taking the next actionable step; doing what needs to be done (pragmatic focus). However, we are human and it does leak out from time to time. Life is more challenging for him, through no fault of his own.

We hope this school is a good fit. If not, it's back to square one. We did home-schooling and online phonics lessons in the interim between kindy and his current school. Online classes were a very poor fit, as Ishaan could not focus beyond 15 minutes (although the teacher was patient and good) and the other half of the class was spent with me wrangling a baby alligator, trying to get him to stay in his seat.

Is this the end of us researching and figuring out the best way to support him? As most parents know (regardless if their children need additional support or not) , the answer to that is, "Not quite" or perhaps "Maybe, for now."

The important thing is, he was happy and excited to be there and we'll take it a step at a time, as it comes.

If you've read all the way to this point, thank you.

28/12/2025

For those who know me personally, you know that I have vitiligo. Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease affecting the skin, where there are patches of depigmentation (the skin appears white or pink). It is sometimes associated with other medical conditions.

I met someone recently and they said that they were curious about my skin. I am used to looks and/or questions and am happy to educate people about vitiligo, so I didn't mind. However, I do mind if you're trying to hawk off a MLM product that will heal it. Haha.

Anyway, this person wanted to know the reason for it and if I was well or not (they assumed that my skin appeared that way due to treatment for something else or a burn). All still okay, but honestly, a little intrusive, considering that I hardly knew them. They then went on to suggest that I should introduce myself to others by clarifying that the reason my skin is that way is because of vitiligo, so that they aren't left wondering.

In the past, I have been told to cover up and wear long sleeves because someone noticed my skin and had asked them (the person telling me to wear long sleeves) about it. This was when I did not have vitiligo on my face yet. I can't hide it now.

The reason I am writing about this is because:
1) I am a mental health practitioner.
2) I am also a person who has an autoimmune disease.

In my mind both these reactions; pre-emptively clarifying to others about something they have not asked me about OR covering up my skin to avoid such questions are 2 sides of the same coin and the coin is "shame and control". Not mine. It is the shame of the person suggesting it to me, projected onto me. It is also a way to control the situation or even a way to control how I perceive myself (badly or being on the defensive). Not everyone likes it when you accept your vulnerabilities openly. It rubs up against their internalized shame too much.

Perhaps these people had good intentions and wanted to make sure everyone was comfortable. Seriously though, do we expect others with a visible disability that requires them to use a wheelchair, for example, to explain why they're in a wheelchair when we meet them? Do we ask them to attempt to hide the fact?

The onus is not on me to enter a room and wonder who will be curious about my skin, who will be scared/fearful (it isn't contagious), who will have superstitions about it (evil eye, being cursed by someone etc.). or who will wonder if I am all right.

I don't have to shrink or explain myself for the comfort of others. If they are curious, they can just ask me about it. I have found that in most settings, no one has an issue with my skin or really cares for that matter. Honestly, most people are just concerned with their own lives.

Those who do have an issue with it, are trying to sell me something (a potion or a prayer) that requires me to be in the position of feeling bad about myself.

Not happening.

26/12/2025

Missing the Forest for the Trees: To Use Or Not To Use (Dr. title)?

Should those who went through medical school, but did not go through the training required for full registration with the Malaysian Medical Council be allowed to use the title Dr.?

Regardless of any personal feelings, the regulations are clear about this. The title Dr. is reserved for someone who is qualified to practise medicine. In the Malaysian context, this means doctors who are registered with the Malaysian Medical Council or at any rate, used to be (for those who are retired/deceased).

A medical degree alone does not give a doctor the right to practise medicine in Malaysia. You can't just open a clinic after completing medical school. The title implies that you are trained and competent. The only other context where the title is acceptable is in academia, but, I digress...

Getting back to my article title, whilst we're arguing whether graduates of Medicine can rightfully use the title of Dr. or not (the issue now being politicised), we are missing the "forest" in front of us; the use of the title "Dr." by individuals who neither went to medical school nor possess a PhD, misusing the title for clout. This is an issue that needs to be addressed.

Well, for doctors, the public can check the credentials of doctors by searching the MMC register. Every single registered doctor (in various phases of registration) and even retired/deceased doctors will be registered on it. It is a VERY accurate register. If you aren't able to find a doctor on it, the reasons are obvious. They aren't a doctor OR they did not do the required training (for whatever reason).

Below is the link for the MMC Register:

https://merits.mmc.gov.my/search

Please check credentials, before seeking medical attention.

13/11/2025

Walk With A Doc, Semenyih is on as usual this Sunday, at 7 am. Since it's "Movember", this time, we'll be talking about prostate and testicular cancer screening.

04/11/2025

This truly resonates!

I went from working full-time as a medical doctor, for the Ministry of Health, to working part-time in private practice as a GP, to being a full-time mom, to deciding that I wanted to change the way I practice medicine (hence, doing the board certification in Lifestyle Medicine), figuring out that I prefer "controlled chaos" (being in the niche field of Mental Healthcare) as opposed to the "chaotic chaos" that is Family Medicine and then deciding to obtain more training in the various modalities of psychotherapy.

When I was in the MOH, I loved Medicine and Paediatrics. I enjoyed those branches of Medicine, the team work and the really good teams I had the privilege of working with. However, I knew for sure that hospital medicine was not for me as I wanted to have more time for my family and other pursuits.

Although I love the academic aspects of Psychiatry, I prefer a more holistic approach when it comes to practice, which is why I was drawn to Lifestyle Medicine in the first place. It has been quite a journey and I'm still a living and learning Work In Progress.

17/10/2025

~Overstimulated Minds: Helping Kids Regulate in a Hyperconnected World~

Our Brains Aren't Built for This Much Stimulation

Humans; adults and children alike are not designed to process constant streams of input. Our brains need downtime to rest, integrate, and recover. The glymphatic system (our brain's waste-clearing network) works primarily during rest and sleep. When we overload it with continuous sensory and emotional input, we disrupt that natural maintenance process.

The Core Skill: Emotional Regulation

Beyond phone bans or social media restrictions, the foundation for mental resilience lies in emotional regulation, the ability to experience difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed. Even positive social media posts can be emotionally triggering. Imagine a child seeing friends at a party they weren’t invited to. That image lingers, amplifying feelings of exclusion, disappointment, or loneliness. For children with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), such moments can be deeply painful and confusing.

What Parents and Educators Can Do

1) Teach Media Literacy Early

Help kids understand that what they see online is curated, filtered, and often staged. Not everything represents reality.

2) Coach Emotional Awareness

Kid should know that feelings are temporary and transitory. Teach them grounding and breathing techniques for times when they do feel overwhelmed. Encourage journaling or speaking to a trusted person.

3) Focus on Screen Purpose, Not Just Time

The context matters more than the clock. For example, ther**eutic games like EndeavorRx (used for ADHD) or structured digital learning may be beneficial. Overly rigid rules can backfire.

4) Rebuild Offline Connections

Encourage real-world engagement: nature walks, unstructured play, family conversations, volunteering, or creative hobbies. These strengthen emotional health and belonging.

What is Everyone Searching For?

Ultimately, whether scrolling, watching, or chatting, most people are seeking connection: to others, to ideas, to a sense of meaning. When children (and adults) feel genuinely connected in real life, the digital world loses its grip.

Key Takeaway

1) Digital safety starts with emotional safety.
2) Regulated, connected children become balanced, compassionate adults.
3) Screens are not the enemy, disconnection is.

17/10/2025

~The Importance of Leaders with high EQ~

In light of recent events in schools in Malaysia and considerable backlash from the public regarding how the MOE is handling the situation, the importance of leaders with high EQ cannot be over-stated.

Such leaders are aware of the heart of the issue:

1) Will my child be safe in school?

2) What are the measures taken to ensure their safety?

Being keenly perceptive of what is foremost on the minds of parents and addressing that would allow them to feel seen and heard. This is important as it increases trust and credibility.

In the cases that occurred (violence towards women and girls), no one is interested to find out about the future of the alleged perpetrators. That would be the furthest thing on their minds.

Regardless of the actual details of the case (it is statutory r**e because of the ages of those involved), how much information the people in charge are privy to, and the final verdict, it is not necessary to share if the alleged perpetrators will be allowed to sit for the SPM examination or not. Being sensitive regarding what to say or not say and being silent at times would go a long way in this respect.

No doubt, the information was also reported in such a way that made it seem as if allowing them to sit for the exam was the main priority of the MOE. It's very challenging to alter an impression once made.