Dr. Reshma Stanislaus

31/05/2025

Live true….. In a world full of pretending …. Live true.

link in bio:
-Workshop “From cPTSD to Peace”
-Waitlist for online group.

I’m so glad you’re here 🫶💞✨

22/05/2025

Proud to be part of this group of GPs! ❤

The certificate was the first such certification to scale up mental health service in Primary Care in Malaysia.

19/05/2025

Walk With A Doc (Semenyih) is now in collaboration with Majestic Labs at Klang Valley. Come and join our monthly walks, every 3rd Sunday of the month from 7 am-8 am or so. We'll be discussing health topics in an informal setting, you'll get to meet some new folks and get in 60+ minutes (out of the minimum 150 minutes) of exercise for the week. Walking is a low impact activity suitable for all fitness levels. See you there! 😀

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1HPHVDUAUh/

14/05/2025

With Dato' Dr. Andrew Mohanraj, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Hazian bt. Hamzah and Profesor Dato' Dr. Syed Mohamed Aljunid at the award ceremony (Certificate in Mental Health for GPs) on the 8th of May 2025. Thank you very much to these leaders, the MSAP, UKM, AFPM and teaching faculty for this much anticipated course that will enable greater access to mental health care, at the primary care level itself.

14/05/2025

How are family doctors building mental resilience in a changing world?

To mark World Family Doctor Day 2025, WONCA is hosting a global webinar series focused on the role of primary care in supporting mental well-being of both patients and doctors.

Each session looks at a different angle:
• Self-care for family doctors
• Doctor–patient collaboration
• Key concepts for mental resilience
• Cultural approaches to mental health
• Lessons from WONCA's MDD Minds project

The webinars are free and open to all. Organised by WONCA’s Working Party on Mental Health with partners including the World Patients Alliance and International Federation of Medical Students' Associations.

📅 18–21 May 2025
🔗 Explore the series and register:
https://www.globalfamilydoctor.com/News/WFDD_Webinars.aspx

04/05/2025

28/04/2025

I read Jancee Dunn's book the night after I'd hidden in the bathroom, silently sobbing into a towel so I wouldn't wake the baby—or my husband, who was sleeping through his third consecutive night shift that I was somehow pulling alone, despite us both working full-time. I wasn't crying from exhaustion. I was crying because I had just calculated how much child support he'd have to pay if I left him.

This isn't a book. It's a goddamn mirror reflecting the darkest thoughts of every mother who's ever fantasized about abandoning her family at 3AM, not because she doesn't love them, but because she's drowning and her partner is standing on the shore checking his phone.

1. The Maternal Rage You Feel Isn't Mental Illness—It's Mathematics
Dunn ruthlessly quantifies what most parenting books politely ignore: the raw numerical inequality of modern parenthood. When she tracks hours spent on childcare (her: 35 weekly, him: 9) while both work full-time, it's not anecdotal—it's violence. The liberation comes in recognizing your homicidal thoughts aren't hormonal or "crazy"—they're the rational response to systemic theft of your time, sleep, and identity while someone who claims to love you watches from the sidelines.

2. The "Mental Load" Isn't Just Unfair—It's Killing You Cell by Cell
What devastated me wasn't just Dunn's account of doing everything—it was her scientific exploration of what invisible labor does to a woman's brain and body. The constant vigilance of tracking every family need doesn't just make you tired—it restructures neural pathways, elevates cortisol, and accelerates aging. When her doctor finds her blood pressure dangerously high while her husband's remains perfect despite their supposedly "shared" stress, the physiological consequences of inequality are laid bare. You're not imagining it—this imbalance is literally shortening your life.

3. Your Husband Isn't Just Annoying—He's Been Systematically Trained to Disable You
The book's most chilling insight comes when Dunn investigates how her competent, intelligent husband develops "strategic incompetence" around domestic tasks. Her research reveals it's not accidental—it's subconscious warfare honed through generations of male socialization. The weaponized helplessness ("Where does this go?"), the learned blindness to mess, the performance of bumbling assistance—these aren't personality quirks but sophisticated tactics to maintain privilege while appearing supportive. I'll never hear "just tell me what needs done" the same way again.

4. The Fights You're Having Aren't About Chores—They're About Human Worth
Dunn's epiphany comes not in cataloging tasks but in recognizing the existential question beneath them: whose time and peace matter? When her husband unthinkingly preserves his exercise routine while she hasn't showered in days, when he sleeps through night wakings because he "has work" (as though she doesn't), when he requires praise for basic parenting—the underlying message is that his humanity outranks hers. This reframing transformed how I understood my own marriage's breaking points.

5. You're Not Control-Freaking—You're Preventing Catastrophe
The section that left me breathless was Dunn's dissection of "maternal gatekeeping." Her therapist suggests she's "not letting go" of child-rearing tasks—until she documents the actual consequences of her husband's cavalier parenting: a toddler left in soiled clothes for hours, forgotten medications, a child nearly hit by a car while dad texts. The gut-punch: sometimes the "perfectionist mom" narrative masks legitimate terror of what happens when the backup system fails. I've never felt more vindicated about my inability to "just relax."

6. Romance After Children Requires Blood Sacrifice—Usually Yours
Dunn's unflinching examination of post-baby intimacy problems goes beyond fatigue to something darker: the resentment poisoning attraction. Her account of faking interest while mentally calculating how many hours of sleep she's losing made me physically flinch with recognition. The breakthrough comes not through date nights or lingerie but through radical redistribution of invisible labor. Her documentation of how performing oral s*x feels easier than asking for help with dishes exposes how parenthood turns s*x into another form of female emotional labor.

7. The Solutions Aren't Cute—They're Nuclear
What elevates this beyond primal-scream therapy is Dunn's scorched-earth approach to reconstruction. She brings in hostage negotiators. Corporate efficiency experts. Therapists who specialize in high-conflict divorce. The message is clear: half-measures will fail. Her implementation of NASA's black box system for critical communication during arguments saved not just her marriage but possibly her husband's life. This isn't about better chore charts—it's about dismantling and rebuilding the entire operational system of your relationship.

This book should be handed to every couple in the delivery room, not as celebration but as warning. Dunn doesn't offer gentle suggestions for reconnecting with your spouse—she offers battlefield triage for the psychological trauma that parenthood inflicts on females and marriages.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3S5kqIl

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK when you register for Audible Membership using the link above.

25/04/2025

What Your GP Can Do for Your Mental Health by Dr. Reshma Stanislaus

I've come across a number of posts describing the differences between various mental health professions and the type of services they provide. These posts usually explain the differences between psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and counsellors.

General Practitioners (GPs) who are Mental Health Practitioners are another option for people who need mental health care.

GPs who are Mental Health Practitioners have further training in mental health care. They are able to assess and manage various mental health issues and refer for specialist care as indicated. GPs are also able to be a point where Psychiatry services are outsourced; for follow-up of stable patients who need regular medication, such as monthly injections and to gauge how well they are doing with their treatment (referrring back to their Psychiatrist as necessary).

Psychiatrists are trained to manage complex and challenging mental health issues. Psychiatric departments/clinics are often over-burdened as they have to manage patients who have severe mental illness, as well as those who may have moderate/mild mental illness. This leads to those with less critical issues being at a loss as to where to go to for help as they may be given late appointments (due to prioritization of more critical cases) and not have easy access to care. Late interventions may cause their conditions to escalate further (which could have well been prevented).

Mental health care at a primary care level is one way we can bridge this gap. GPs who are Mental Health Practitioners, increase accessibility of mental health care and act as the first point of contact for patients struggling with emotional distress, anxiety, depression, burnout, sleep problems, grief, or life transitions. We have been trained to screen, diagnose, and manage common mental health conditions using evidence-based guidelines.

At Poliklinik Optimal Health, we offer a holistic, lifestyle-focused approach that takes into consideration, physical health, habits, relationships, and social factors. We are able to initiate psychological support such as talk therapy and prescribe lifestyle interventions and/or medications (e.g., antidepressants, anxiolytics) if clinically appropriate.

Mental Health GPs refer to Psychiatrists when:
-Symptoms are severe or complex.
-There's a risk of self-harm/psychosis.
-The patient require a formal psychiatric diagnosis (in terms of needing accommodations at school/work or to apply for disability).

Mental Health GPs refer to Psychologists when:
-The patient requires a formal psychiatric diagnosis.
-The patient requires structured psychotherapy/counselling.

Think of the extended-role GP as a mental health generalist: versatile, accessible, and skilled in early intervention. Early intervention is key towards better access and management of mental health issues.

12/04/2025

I had the pleasure of attending EmployAble Malaysia's workshop regarding "Navigating Neurodiversity" in the workplace. At one point Ivy Philip asked the audience regarding what was our main takeaway from the sessions so far in the day. I didn't say it then, but what struck me was how very self-aware and empowered the speakers who shared their experiences about being a neurodivergent were, at such young ages (relatively speaking). 😀 Empowered in the sense that, they are aware of their strengths and vulnerabilities and sought out careers that brought out their strengths, whilst accommodating for their vulnerabilities. There's a lot to be said for being stoic and having "stick-to-it"-tiveness, yet, that can go along with showing ourselves self-compassion, grace and knowing when and how to ask for help. As was discussed during the course of the day, "Disability minus barriers to success equals Ability". This is not to negate the experiences of those who are disabled by their neurodivergence, as opposed to others who do not consider themselves disabled (it is important to take into account neurodivergent individuals own experiences and definitions). Ultimately, what was salient is that an inclusive environment benefits everyone, neurotypical or otherwise and accommodations do not have to be elaborate or expensive to be impactful. Kudos to the team at EmployAble for an insightful and meaningful workshop.