01/03/2024
I recently came across a post by Brene Brown that resonated with me:
"We like to think we are logical human beings who sometimes experience emotions, but the fact is that we are emotional beings who sometimes engage logic."
This statement struck a chord with its accuracy.
It's ironic how, as humans, we often strive to conceal our emotions from the world, yet they are intrinsic to our nature.
We are wired to be emotional beings. Emotions, especially negative ones, hold a powerful sway over us. They demand our attention, and influence our decision-making, and when ignored, they only intensify.
When powerful emotions arise, our brains become hijacked, and our biology works overtime to alleviate discomfort. Emotions can feel overwhelmingly controlling.
One of the greatest battles we face, and one we can learn to conquer, is the battle for control.
Let's clarify something here. People often ask me, "How do I control my emotions?" What they typically mean is, "How do I stop myself from feeling these emotions?"
The answer is straightforward: you can't. None of us have the power to suppress our emotions. Our only control lies in how we choose to respond to them. Our decisions in moments of heightened emotion define our self-management skills, crucial for mental and emotional well-being.
So, here's an idea to consider: What if we reframed how we perceive our emotions? What if we saw them as signals? Messengers alerting us to areas needing attention?
Emotions are not random; they stem from somewhere. Often, they reveal unmet needs lurking beneath the surface. Yet, in the heat of the moment, we struggle to identify these needs as emotions cloud our judgment.
It's essential to realize that emotions don't signify inadequacy or failure; they are simply messengers.
The next time you experience a strong emotion, try this practice:
Pause. Step back. Observe. Get curious about the emotion.
Ask yourself, "What am I feeling, and why?"
"What unmet need lies beneath this emotion, and how can I address it constructively?"
Your emotions are always trying to convey something. By working with them, we empower ourselves to progress without prolonged stagnation.
Sometimes, solving emotional issues involves introspection, discussing with a friend, or journaling. Most importantly, listen to what your emotions are trying to communicate.
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