19/01/2025
HE SAID I WAS A MISTAKE
I met my husband 12 years ago.
After we got married, things weren't rosy, but I stood by him as we built a life together.
Then his family used to pray for me and thank me for standing by their brother.
A few years after marriage, things started looking up for us.
Then his family started to interfere and he began to misbehave.
I complained to my husband but he said I was hallucinating and overreacting.
8 years after marriage his family moved into our home and started calling the shots.
We just built our dream house and they moved in with us.
By that time, I knew the ground wasn't level, but I kept my plans very close to my chest.
I knew my husband was involved with other women outside our marriage but I acted like I didn't know.
He was acting smart, and his family thought they were covering their tracks, but they were seriously mistaken.
By the 10th year of marriage, my in-laws ordered me to pack out of our matrimonial bedroom because my husband had gotten a better woman than me.
I told them I wouldn't leave the bedroom until my husband returned and packed out my belongings.
He returned with the said woman and her belongings and was furious that I had not already moved out of our bedroom.
He couldn't even make eye contact with me as he yelled at me to leave our bedroom for the love of his life to move it.
I quietly moved out my belongings with our children assisting me.
By this time, my husband no longer took care of his children because his family said they were not sure that the children were his.
I didn't care about their allegations because I knew I didn't play any away games.
I requested that my husband do a DNA TEST but he never showed any interest.
I moved all my belongings into our children's bedroom because all the other rooms were occupied by my in-laws in a house I contributed financially to build.
However, I moved in with my children, and they were so happy because they have always pleaded with me to spend the night in their room.
We acted happy and played games into the night.
My In-laws even stopped me from accessing my own kitchen, so I had to make alternative arrangements to cook for my children.
In all this, I kept calm as I watched my husband sleeping with another woman under our roof and in our own bedroom.
A few months later I found out the woman my husband brought into our bedroom was pregnant.
From how much she was showing, I strongly believe that she was already pregnant before he brought her in, and it changed the tide of our marriage.
The funny aspect is that they expected me to serve her because she was pregnant.
I asked them who served me while I was pregnant.
I was alone all through all my pregnancies; I never had help, so she should carry her cross.
She wanted to get pregnant so she should bear the brunt alone.
While all this was going on I kept my eyes and ears open.
I even eavesdropped on conversations, and that's how I heard that my husband and his family were disappointed that I didn't break down in tears and beg them, but instead, I remained happy with my children.
They were so pained that they couldn't break me, and no matter what they did, I still wore a smile with my children.
They began hatching a plan of kicking me out with my children in the middle of the night when I least expected it.
My mother-in-law and her oldest daughter were the most pained.
Judging by how they used to pray for me and praise me at the beginning of marriage I couldn't believe that they were just pretending all that time.
Once I found out their plans I couldn't let them take me unawares.
I vowed to protect my children and couldn't let anything harm come to them.
I sprang into action immediately and started looking for an apartment.
It truly hurt that I was going to spend money on rent after building a house with my husband but I let it go.
That was not the place and time to sulk.
I found an apartment after some time and began setting it up.
I quietly moved out our belongings gradually whenever the coast was clear without raising any suspicion.
Just a few days before they carried out their plans I told them I wanted to speak to them.
I remember all their faces as they expected I was going to apologize or beg them.
I thanked them for all they've done for me and how they've treated me and their mouths just opened waaaa.
They didn't see it coming but I didn't care.
Finally, I told them I was moving out with my children because we were living like refugees in our own home.
We were stepping on each other in the bedroom.
The children couldn't feel free in their father's house.
They couldn't watch television, they had to improvise with my laptop.
They couldn't even play around like children because they'd be yelled at and hushed for making noise.
It'll never be well with any family members who don't let children drink water and keep down the cup in their father's house.
They were confined to their bedroom.
They felt happier outside their father's house and it was so sad to even imagine.
I told them I'll be leaving in a few days even though it was the next morning.
I just couldn't let them know my next move.
I just didn't trust them.
After I stood up from the sofa in the sitting room and came out later, I still found them seated on the sofa dumbfounded but I didn't care.
Very early the next morning I woke up with my children and was about to leave.
I found them already up in the sitting room saying they wanted to talk to me.
I told them to make it quick because I didn't have all day.
I couldn't believe that my mother-in-law and her overbearing children, especially her daughters, were apologizing to me.
I was even more shocked by my husband telling me not to move out.
He was asking for us to go back to the way things used to be.
His family also joined him in pleading with me.
I couldn't believe it.
I asked him how everything could go back to normal.
He said I was a mistake after I supported him from the beginning.
Immediately, money came, and he changed and kicked me to the curb.
I asked him if he could unsleep with all the women he had slept with or get rid of the pregnancy that was almost at the home stretch.
He lost his voice after that, including his family, especially his mother.
They had a lot of nerve to pretend they wanted me to stay when they were plotting to kick me out.
After how they had treated me and rubbed trash in my face, they expected me to stay back.
Once money came these people started advising their son/brother to date other women because I had played my part in his life.
These people even found the women for him; how can I even relate to such people?
My husband said that he was sending his mistress away after she gave birth so I could raise her child.
What do some of these people take us for?
Our youngest child was 5, who told him I wanted to raise another newborn?
I just told them to cut to the chase.
They never wanted me so I was leaving.
I told my husband he had pushed me beyond my elastic limit.
I knew he was unfaithful, but he never brought it home, so I overlooked it, but then he brought a woman home; she was already pregnant.
He kicked me out of the bedroom we both shared because of her and didn't care that I had no place to stay in a house we put finances together to build.
He started sleeping with another woman under our roof in our bedroom on our bed and that was a deal breaker.
To add the final nail in the c.o.f.f.i.n he abandoned his children.
Even before his mistress moved in, he hadn't cared about his children, and he had not provided for his children.
One easy way to my heart is through my children.
Once you mistreat them, it'll be very difficult to get over.
I told him that I could tolerate him seeing other women, but getting one pregnant and bringing her home was a deal breaker and a no-go area.
If I never told them I was leaving, would we be having such a conversation?
I'm sure they all knew the answer.
I told him that all we could do now is co-parent because I don't see us together in a marriage ever again.
I had forgiven him for my own sanity but not for us to get back to how we used to be because it was no longer possible.
I stood up to leave, and my mother-in-law and her daughter blocked the way, asking me not to go.
I politely asked them to step out of the way and stepped outside.
My mother-in-law opened her mouth to tell me that she was disappointed that I wouldn't stay back and fight for my place.
I asked her what place she was talking about.
I asked her when she had ever heard a man fight for his place.
Every time women are expected to fight for their place when there's no place to fight for.
I asked her to tell her son to fight for his place and left.
Since then they've been bombarding me with calls for reconciliation.
The truth is that I can never look at my husband and his family the same again.
It's clear that they never loved me, they only used me to achieve their aim.
Now I know better and I can't let anyone use me ever again.
If there's anything like a next life I'll never support any man to build like I supported my husband because it's of no use.
Once they get what they want they refer to you as a mistake.
Everyone should just answer their father's name and build themselves.
Imagine if I never built myself what would I have done?
No wonder marriage is something else these days
All your efforts can just go to waste when you end up with a selfish person.
I may act strong but I'm in pain.
