Sope Oluyemi

14/07/2025

You are not in love, you are just scared to start over.

Hard to hear, right? But let’s talk about it.

Have you ever woken up and ask yourself: do I really love this person, or am I just too afraid to walk away?

I see it so much in line with what I do.

The truth is many of us stay in relationships, then tell ourselves it’s love, but deep down, it’s just fear of starting over. We confuse familiarity for affection, and comfort for connection.

If you’ve ever stayed longer than you should because you’ve already put so much time in, that’s not self-sacrifice, it’s sunk-cost. If you're scared of being single more than staying unhappy, that’s not love, that’s avoidance.

Maybe you are holding onto what you hope could be, instead of what actually is. Yes, Hope is beautiful, but it doesn’t build a relationship.

Listen, I’m not saying walk away at the first sign of trouble. But love doesn’t drain you. It doesn’t make you second-guess your worth more than your choice. Love feels safe. It feels like the person sees you, values you, and grows with you.

So ask yourself:

Am I here because we are growing or here because I don’t want to face myself alone?
Am I with someone who uplifts me, or someone who just fills the space beside me?
It’s okay if it’s not love yet, It’s brave to say, “I’m here out of fear, not out of freedom.” But the first step to real love is admitting the truth.

Have you ever realized you were in a cycle pretending to be love?
If this resonates with you, I will love to hear your story…

It is my desire to see you getting it right in relationship and marriage.

24/10/2024

Last Sunday was an incredible experience as I taught on “Leading a Life of Significance Through Taking Action.” Here is a brief excerpt from that teaching. You can catch the full message on YouTube…

Lead!

19/10/2024

Join us for service tomorrow! It’s gonna be an amazing time of worship!

18/10/2024

13/10/2024

No one leads a life of significance without the instrument of Joy!

What a service!

11/10/2024

The Leading Tribe; a place where families grow, leaders emerge!

28/11/2023

Yipppee! It’s ready 💃🏻

Friends, go and watch and remember to like and drop your comments for us❤️

10/08/2023

I remembered sometime ago trusting God for something. While praying about it one day, I had a strong impression from the Holyspirit to sow a seed concerning it. I checked my account and what I had was indeed a seed. I made that sacrifice with high expectation of a miracle. Guess what, I am still waiting for that thing…

I have also sown seeds in obidience and obeyed several instructions from God about other things after that and I got instant physical rewards…

See, most times when we obey God’s instructions we expect a reward which is okay but we also need to be careful to check that our obedience and relationship with God is not transactional…

I understand that the church has subtly taught us this transactional way of relating with God…

“Sow 20k and see God bless you”
“If you don’t tithe, things will be tight”

Friends, you need to grow from that level of “give and take” relationship with God to obeying him just because he delights in your obedience.

Only children give you lollipop to collect chocolate from you…

The primary reward you should look forward to every time you obey is the delight and pleasure in the face of God. Just making Him happy and blushing with your obidence😘

When he instructs you to drop your 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes, don’t wait for it to multiply to know he is pleased with your obedience. Drop it because he has told you to and stay joyful no matter the outcome of your obedience…

When he instructs you to relocate from Abuja to Abeokuta, do not bother your head thinking of how rosy and beautiful it will be in Abeokuta just because he told you to move…What if it doesn’t happen that way?

Just obey!

So friends, grow from the level of obeying God’s instructions with a TRANSACTIONAL mindset to a LOVE mindset and let him reward you as he pleases. Remember God is always Good!

Good morning ❤️

18/07/2023

One of the mistakes people make at the beginning of marriage is to want to force deep relationships with in-laws too early.

Friends, it is very okay to see your in-laws; (your spouse’s parent/siblings) the way they are and nothing deeper.

For example, I initially felt uncomfortable when my mother-in law referred to me as her wife(iyawo mi), that is what yoruba culture calls their son’s wife. I was expecting her to call me her own daughter(omo mi) but one day I realised I needed to allow relationships grow organically.

Guess what? After some years in the marriage, she began to call me “her daughter” because we have both allowed the relationship to grow organically over time. Infact my sister inlaws now also call me “their own sister” rather than the old way of calling me “their wife”.

Why am I sharing this?

Building a strong and meaningful relationship with anyone, including in-laws doesn't happen overnight. It requires patience which is a gradual process of getting to know each other, understanding each other's personalities, and finding common ground. Please note that patience comes with;

Adjustment Period: When you marry into a new family, both you and your in-laws are going through an adjustment period. This period can be challenging as you learn to navigate your roles and establish boundaries. It's normal to experience some awkwardness or initial discomfort as everyone finds their place within the new family dynamic.

Respecting Individual Personalities: Every individual has their own unique personality and way of approaching relationships. Some people may be more reserved and take longer to open up, while others may be more outgoing and expressive. Being patient allows you to understand and respect these individual differences, avoiding any undue pressure on your in-laws to fit into a specific mold.

Respecting Different Backgrounds: Your in-laws may come from a different cultural, social, or familial background than your own. Being patient allows you to understand and appreciate these differences without judgment. It also gives them the time to get to know you better, which can lead to greater acceptance and understanding.

Maintaining Realistic Expectations: Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and strain in any relationship. Being patient helps you maintain realistic expectations about the pace of your relationship's growth, allowing it to unfold naturally without unnecessary pressure or disappointment.

Please, don’t be in a hurry to form and force relationships even with inlaws. Encourage organic growth with patience and you will be happy you did.

It is my desire to see you getting it right in relationship and marriage.

15/07/2023

Recently my husband and I had to do a playback of our first two years in marriage by comparing the frequency of the conflicts we had and their causes to what we have today and the difference is huge! More like a 10:1 ratio…Growth right? Well you may be right!

Now singles and newly married, please understand that you may experience some of the following frequent conflicts in the early stages of marriage:

1. Adjusting to Change: Marriage brings significant changes to a couple's life. Living together, sharing responsibilities, and making joint decisions can be challenging as individuals adjust to their new roles and routines. Conflicts may arise from differences in expectations, lifestyle habits, or simply adjusting to the changes in the relationship dynamics.

2. Communication Challenges: Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, but it can take time for couples to develop strong communication skills. Newly married couples may still be learning how to express their thoughts, emotions, and needs openly and effectively. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and lack of clear communication can lead to conflicts.

3. Unresolved Issues: Couples often enter marriage with unresolved issues from their past, such as unresolved conflicts, unresolved emotions, or unresolved trauma. These unresolved issues can resurface in the context of marriage and contribute to conflicts between you and your spouse.

4. Expectations and Differences: Each partner brings their own set of expectations, values, and beliefs into the marriage. Conflicts can arise when there are differences in these areas, such as expectations around household chores, financial management, career aspirations, or even cultural or religious practices. These differences need to be navigated and negotiated to find common ground. Yes you can negotiate your differences.

5. Stress and External Factors: External stressors such as work pressures, financial strains, family dynamics, or health issues can impact the newly married couple's relationship. These stressors can contribute to conflicts as partners may react differently to the challenges they face or struggle to support each other effectively.

6. Intimacy and Boundaries: Newly married couples are also navigating their physical and emotional intimacy. Differences in desires, preferences, or expectations in this area can lead to conflicts. Setting and respecting boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship.

Please, It's important to remember that conflicts are a normal part of any relationship and can even contribute to growth and understanding. What matters is how couples address and resolve these conflicts, with open communication, empathy, and a willingness to find common ground. Developing strong conflict resolution skills and seeking professional help when needed can support couples in navigating these challenges and building a strong foundation for their marriage.

It is my desire to see you getting it right in relationship and marriage.

06/07/2023

Great is thy faithfulness oh lord my Father!

Master of Business Administration( Strategic Project Management) Edinburgh Napier University Scotland.

To God be the glory!

PhD loading💃🏻💃🏻