05/10/2024
IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, YOU WILL NEVER SELF-SABOTAGE YOUR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE
If anyone tells you that once you meet the love of your life, you'll never feel attracted to someone else again, they’re lying to you.
As long as you're alive, you’ll keep seeing people who are more attractive, intelligent, godly, or even better in certain areas than your partner. You’ll meet people who seem richer, more humble, or more submissive—the very things you might desire in a life partner. They’ll even shine in areas where your partner has flaws.
But here’s the thing: behind that attractive person who’s tempting you to reconsider your partner, there are flaws. And trust me, their flaws might be even worse than what you’re dealing with now.
Attraction can be deceiving because it often focuses on what's new or unfamiliar, rather than on what's real. You might feel excited by someone’s charm, their confidence, or the way they seem to “get you.” But without knowing the whole picture, that attraction can quickly fade when reality sets in. Some of you already can relate to this.
When I look at others, I see their beauty and how amazing they are. But I also remind myself that they’re human. They've got flaws, and many of those flaws would probably make me not want to be with them, no matter how great they seem upfront.
No one is perfect, and in a relationship, what matters is whether you and your partner can accept each other’s imperfections and grow together.
You’ll come across people who make you feel like your partner isn’t cutting it. But if you spent as much time with them as you have with your partner, you’d start to see their flaws too—and sometimes, their baggage is way heavier than what your partner carries.
What you’re attracted to now could just be the surface. Deep, meaningful relationships are built on shared experiences, trust, and a deeper understanding that only comes with time. You can’t compare that to a brief moment of attraction.
If the flaws your partner has are things you can live with, and you’ve had a good relationship overall, stay focused on what you have. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes, it only looks fresh but something is eating it from the inside, and it’s just a matter of time before it starts to wither.
That seemingly perfect person could be dealing with issues that will eventually surface and bring far more challenges than you’ve ever imagined.
Sadly, many people who’ve allowed themselves to be distracted by momentary attraction are now living with regret. They let someone new and exciting draw them away from the solid foundation they had with their partner, only to discover that the “greener grass” was an illusion.
The person who once seemed perfect turned out to have flaws they couldn’t live with, leaving them to realize they’d given up something real for something that wasn’t. Attraction alone doesn’t sustain a relationship, and when the thrill wears off, what’s left is often emptiness, leaving them wishing they had stayed where they were appreciated and loved.
Shift your focus to what your partner is doing right because whatever you focus on, you magnify. If all you see is what they’re doing wrong, you’ll blow it out of proportion and eventually let it ruin what you’ve built.
But if you choose to focus on their goodness, your relationship will thrive. Gratitude is powerful. When you intentionally notice and appreciate the good in your partner, it strengthens your bond and builds resilience in your relationship.
Learn to appreciate what you have, and build each other up. When you’re pouring into your relationship, you won’t have time to compare your partner to anyone else because you know their value and how willing they are to fight for the relationship.
Relationships aren’t about finding someone without flaws; they’re about finding someone who is committed to growing with you, even through imperfections.
Compliment each other daily. Take every opportunity to remind them how much they mean to you. Sow seeds of appreciation and contentment. When you water what you already have, it will bloom and flourish in ways that no outside distraction can ever replace.
Don’t mess up a good thing just because you got distracted. Remember, fleeting attraction isn’t worth losing something real.
Your Relationship Couple,
Branch Clinton Paul
