24/07/2025
When Help Is Not Really Help
Sometimes in life, we go through tough times and just need someone to be there for us. It could be a friend, a family member, or even a leader. They may say things like, “I’m here for you,” or “Let me know if you need anything.” Those words sound good, but they don’t always come with real action.
This is what it means to pretend to be of help. A person acts like they care, but when it’s time to actually help, they disappear or make excuses. This can leave you feeling even more alone than before.
Some people offer help just to look good in front of others. They want to appear kind, but they are not really there for you. Others give help because they want something in return—maybe attention, praise, or power.
Even worse, some people give help in a way that controls or enslaves the person they are helping. They do something for you, but then they use it to make you feel guilty or to control your choices. They might say things like, “If not for me, you’d be nothing,” or remind you all the time of what they’ve done for you.
This kind of help is not kind at all. It is not given from the heart. It is a way to keep you dependent, weak, or afraid to stand on your own.
Real help is very different.
True help is quiet, humble, and respectful. It doesn’t make the other person feel small. It doesn’t come with conditions or demands. It helps you grow, feel safe, and become stronger. It gives without asking for anything back.
In life, we should try not just to look helpful—we should truly be helpful. When someone is in need, we should offer support from a place of love, not pride or control. And when we give, we should give freely, without using it to hold others down.
Because real help lifts people up. False help holds them back.
