Relationship Facticity

18/07/2025

17/07/2025

She married a man seven months after they met...✍🏽

Their wedding cost fifty dollars. Her dress was off the clearance rack at Dillard’s. They got married after she got off work. Their daughters, whom they each had before meeting, stood beside them as bridesmaids. About fifty people packed into that little room to watch them say “I do,” and afterward, they had their reception at Olive Garden using a fifty-dollar gift card someone had given them. They always say the wedding was free.

What she remembers most?

It was intimate. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Everyone there genuinely supported them. There was no drama. Both families embraced each other like they had known one another forever. No one cared that she wore a cream dress, white stockings, and kitten heels. No one blinked when her husband showed up in two different shades of black from Uptown Cheapskate.

And the best part? They didn’t go into debt for a single moment of it.

That night, they went back to a casino hotel room and just exhaled. It was simple, sacred, and unforgettable. She still gets butterflies thinking about it. Like Lauryn Hill said, it could all be so simple. And for them, it was.

She’ll never forget choking up during her vows, or the way he looked her in the eyes and said God told him she was his. That is the marriage. The wedding was just the bonus.

If she had a million dollars, she would still do it the same way. Maybe with a wig and a longer dress—but still. Same love. Same people. Same energy.

She shares this because someone needs to hear it:

Love is the main thing. Not the venue. Not the budget.

If they’re laughing at your small wedding, they’re not meant to be in your big marriage.

Get you a partner who is sure.
A circle that prays for you.
A love that makes you choke up during your vows.

The rest?
Just extra.

17/07/2025

Listen up, Men!
You’re Not a Tree — Stop Marrying from the Same Village of Broken Dreams

I need to speak from the heart on this one. Because I’ve seen too many good men — hardworking, God-fearing, focused men — destroy their destiny just because they didn’t step out of their hometown. You see, I’ve travelled. I’ve walked the streets of Abuja, seen the markets of Yola, and engaged women in Ghana, Kenya, Ethiopia and even as far as Istanbul. And let me tell you this: the world is rich with women who will respect you, love you, honor you — not use you.

But if all you know is the 500 girls in your community — those same ones that have rotated from boy to boy, now wearing waist beads and declaring “they’ve changed” — you’ll mistake availability for value.

As Reno Omokri wrote:

There are 4.1 billion women on Earth. So why are you acting like your destiny must be tied to the girl in your church choir or the one you crushed on in SS2?

Let me be blunt — you’re not desperate, you’re just uninformed.
You haven’t seen the woman who doesn’t raise her voice, who serves her man food with a smile, who prays for you at night while you’re asleep.
But you’ve seen the one who thinks matching energy is the new feminine virtue.
That’s not a woman, brother — that’s a competitor in a skirt.

Here’s What I’ve Learned The Hard Way:

1. Travel Before You Marry
I’ve said it before — if you don’t explore before marriage, your eyes will travel after marriage.
That’s how infidelity starts. That’s how regret creeps in.
You marry because she was close, and realize too late she’s not even close to what you needed.
Don’t let hunger make you eat sand.

2. The World is Bigger Than Your Village
Look beyond the girls who now wear lace wigs and quote Instagram therapists.
Step into cultures where femininity still lives.
Where women are taught to support, build and submit — not to argue and manipulate.
I’ve seen them. They exist. But they’re not sitting in your backyard. You’ve got to move.

3. Value Doesn’t Scream, It Whispers
A high-value woman won’t be twerking on TikTok.
She’s probably minding her business, learning how to be a wife, not a liability.
And trust me, when you find her, you’ll feel peace — not pressure.

4. You Are The Prize
Never forget this. The man is the structure. The builder. The provider.
You bring order to chaos. You bring glory to her life.
Any woman who doesn’t recognize that doesn’t deserve a seat at your table.

So yes, your friends may marry first. They’ll rush in, get clowned, and live in regret.
But not you.
You’ll wait, explore, and when you choose — it’ll be a woman worth the weight.

This one is for every young man who’s feeling pressured. Who’s being told to “settle” because “time is going.” Time is not your enemy, bad choices are.

Walk tall, king. Your rib might not be in your neighborhood. She might be in Nairobi, Lagos, Accra or even the Philippines.
Go find her. The world is your playground.

And if this message spoke to your spirit — share it with your brothers.
One repost can save a man from 40 years of regret.

16/07/2025

Some men don’t seek counseling. Instead, they find a new woman who doesn’t know they’re lying. They avoid the hard work of looking inward, facing their demons, and owning their mistakes. They dodge accountability like it’s a wildfire ready to burn down their fragile egos. Because asking for help, admitting vulnerability....that’s often seen as weakness in a world that tells men to “man up” instead of “grow up.”
So instead of healing, they run. They slip into the arms of someone new, someone unaware of their past patterns, someone who believes the sweet words and promises they couldn’t keep before. They recycle the same old story, the same empty affection, the same half-truths....and expect a different ending.
They don’t break the cycle. They don’t do the inner work. They just press “reset” on a new relationship, hoping no one sees through the cracks they’re trying to hide. And the worst part? The new woman believes in him. She invests her heart, her trust, her time....while he’s still carrying the baggage he refuses to unpack.
It’s a cruel pattern disguised as love. Because real growth means sitting in the discomfort. It means confronting the parts of yourself you’d rather run from. It means therapy, reflection, and sometimes pain. But most men choose the easier road....the road of avoidance, deception, and selfishness.
And it leaves a trail of broken hearts and shattered trust behind.

So don’t be fooled by the charm or the “newness” of a man who hasn’t done the work. Healing isn’t about finding a new woman to fool....it’s about facing yourself and becoming better, even when it hurts.
Until he does that, the cycle will keep spinning... and more women will unknowingly fall into the same trap.
Your love deserves a man who is brave enough to heal, not just clever
______💥

16/07/2025

Be happy with what you have 🙂

16/07/2025

25 SURE SIGNS YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE
by: Samuel Olagbenjo

Marriage is not for boys and girls. It’s for adults—emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and financially. Many people walk into marriage unprepared and end up walking out confused. So before you say “I do,” here are 25 signs that you are truly ready for a lifelong commitment:

1. You are emotionally stable.
You're not ruled by anger, lust, jealousy, or insecurity. You know how to express emotions in healthy ways.

2. You’ve dropped d€structive habits.
You no longer struggle with addictions, irresponsibility, or patterns that could damage your future home.

3. You have a strong spiritual foundation.
You can hear God's voice, discern His will, and walk in obedience.

4. You are mature in age and mindset.
Ladies, you’re at least 23. Men, you’re at least 25. Not just biologically grown but mentally mature.

5. You are financially responsible.
You have a job, a business, or steady income that can sustain you and a family.

6. You live independently.
As a man, you don’t live off your parents. You pay your own bills and live in your own space.

7. You know how to care for others.
As a woman, you can manage yourself and others with joy—not with stress or complaints.

8. You love children.
You don’t just tolerate kids; you look forward to nurturing the next generation.

9. You’re domestically skilled.
Cooking, cleaning, and organizing are not strange to you—they’re part of your daily life.

10. You can thrive far from your family.
You're not emotionally dependent on mummy and daddy to function or make decisions.

11. 📍You take full responsibility for your life.
You own your choices and can deal with the consequences maturely.

12. You are not controlled by your parents.
You honor them, but your life isn't dictated by their preferences.

13. You don’t yield to peer pressure.
You do what's right, even when it's unpopular.

14. You’re $exually disciplined.
You can say NO to premarital $ex—not because you’re forced, but because you value purity.

15. You honor authority.
Ladies, you're respectful and submissive—not just to a man, but to God and legitimate authority.

16. You respect women.
Men, you love your mother, honor your sisters, and treat every woman with dignity.

17.📍 You understand money.
You know how to earn, save, invest, and manage finances without being reckless.

18. You are generous and kind.
You give with joy—not grudgingly. You're not stingy with your time, love, or money.

19. You are faithful.
You're not dating two or three people “just in case.” You're loyal and intentional.

20. You are purpose-driven.
You know what God has called you to do, and you’re taking steps daily to get there.

21. You desire to build others.
You're not just looking for someone to make you happy—you want to help your spouse fulfill destiny.

22. You have control over your $ex drive.
Your body doesn't control you—you control your body.

23. You have healed from past relationships.
You’re not bitter, wounded, or suspicious. You’ve forgiven, grown, and moved forward.

24. You’re willing to learn and grow.
You’re teachable, open to correction, and you seek wise counsel.

25. You understand that marriage is ministry.
You see marriage as a place to serve, grow, and honor God—not just to be loved or have s*x.

Remember : Marriage is not an emergency. It’s a journey that requires maturity—physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, and psychological. Don’t rush into it because of pressure, age, or loneliness.
Wait until you’re ready. You’ll thank yourself later.
🙏 May God grant you the wisdom to prepare and the grace to build a godly home when the time comes.
🔁 Share this with a single friend who’s serious about preparing for a purposeful marriage
God bless us all.

15/07/2025

Young man, let me educate you about something the world will never tell you.
A man's prime does not start at 18. It does not start at 21. It does not even start at 25.Your prime, my brother, begins in your 30s. And if you understand this principle, you will stop rushing and start BUILDING.

In your 20s, you are still gathering intelligence. You are still collecting data. You are still learning who you are and what you stand for. The world wants you to believe you should have everything figured out by 25, but that is European thinking designed to make you feel inadequate.

African wisdom teaches us that a man matures like fine wine. The depth of your character, the strength of your convictions, the clarity of your vision - these things crystalise in your 30s.

This is when you stop chasing women and start choosing a woman. This is when you stop job-hopping and start career-building. This is when you stop consuming and start creating.

Your 30s are your launching pad, not your deadline.
So stop comparing yourself to these 22-year-old social media entrepreneurs. Stop feeling behind because you don't have it all figured out yet. You are right on time.
The lion doesn't roar until he knows his strength. The eagle doesn't soar until his wings are fully developed.

Your time is coming, young king. But first, you must prepare.

I break down the African philosophy behind this truth in the video below - watch it and shift your mindset.

15/07/2025

📌 LISTEN UP, MEN — SOME WOMEN COME WITH TOO MUCH DAMAGE TO REBUILD

By 30, most modern women have:

– 20+ exes
– 25+ heartbreaks
– 7 years of therapy
– A list of emotional triggers
– A soul too tired to trust men
– A past funded by men better than you — and worse
– 2 or 3 baby daddies
– Fallen soldiers in her DM graveyard
– 89 body count
– Syphilis and regrets she won’t tell you about

And now you — Mr. Nice Guy — show up hoping to fix what 15 other men broke.

You marry her leftovers. You inherit a wounded soul dressed in soft glam. You bring loyalty to a woman who’s numb to affection, and no matter what you offer? She can’t bond with you.

📌 SHE’S BEEN PASSED AROUND MORE THAN A CHURCH OFFERING BASKET

The streets raised her. Her past isn’t a phase — it’s a lifetime membership. She’s not seeking peace.
She’s seeking survival.

And you, brother, are just her latest ATM.

📌 THE EXPIRED SINGLE MOTHER SYNDROME

Not all single moms, but you know the type. The one with 2-3 kids by different men, zero accountability, and a victim mentality. She’ll call you “king” while texting her baby daddy “goodnight ❤️.”

You’re not building a home — you’re inheriting chaos.

📌 THE BED-TO-BED MIDFIELDER NGONO KANTE

She’s played in every league. Knows every position. Knows how to make a man feel like a god until the money dries up. Then suddenly, “You’ve changed.”

📌 FINAL WARNING

Say no to overused, loyalty-proof, emotionally wrecked women dressed in designer trauma.

If you marry a woman whose past you can’t stomach, her baggage will bury your destiny.

Your peace is priceless. Your mission is sacred. Protect both.

In this life:
Build first. Vet wisely. Move like a wolf.

Weak men perish. Stay sharp.

15/07/2025

🔹Post Title: “Even Relationship Coaches Need Love Too.”


Running this page has allowed me to share stories, advice, and reflections on love, struggles, healing, and hope.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I, too, long for something deep and lasting—a serious relationship built on respect, growth, love, and shared purpose.

I’m open to meeting someone genuine. Someone who wants to build a family, share life’s journey, and walk through joy and pain together with honesty.

If this speaks to your heart or you know someone it might, you can send me a message. Let’s see if we connect not just through words, but in real life.


✍️From the heart,
Emjay
Content creator
(Relationship Facticity)

You can reach me directly via;
WhatsApp: +2348132748553
Email: jeffreyenuife21@gmail.com

14/07/2025

Most men don’t ever want to be associated with softness. Even the idea of being “soft” in any way feels like an insult...✍🏽

No “man’s man” wants to be linked to softness, especially when it comes to his own s*xual prowess.

But here’s the truth:
A man’s hardness was never meant for everything. It was designed for his encounters with other men, with adversity, with danger.

Your woman doesn’t need you to bring that same armor into your home. She doesn’t need the fighter, the competitor, or the warrior. She needs the safe place, the gentle presence, the steady heart.

A mature man learns to balance his strength. Hardness belongs at the gates, protecting what he loves. Tenderness belongs inside, nurturing who he loves.

Softness isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

14/07/2025

I’ll never forgot those who came with a lamp when I was in the dark.

14/07/2025

MY EVENING REFLECTION
TOPIC: MARK THOSE WHO DESIRED YOU WHEN YOU WERE NOT DESIRABLE...

Let me take you to a place the world rarely speaks about, the quiet battlefield of the heart… a place where pain, betrayal, loyalty, and love wrestle for space. This life, this strange life, has taught me one unshakable truth: not everyone who walks with you is truly walking for you. There are people who desired you when you were not desirable. Mark them. There are people who called your name when it carried no weight, who stood by your side when you had no fame, no fortune, no form, and no fire. When your dreams were nothing but broken sketches on the floor, they still looked at you like you were a masterpiece. They didn’t love you because you had something, they loved you despite the fact that you had nothing. Those people are rare. They are God’s reminder that loyalty still walks the earth. Because, my beloved, the world is filled with users wearing the mask of friends. As long as you’re useful, they are available. But the moment you are wounded, the moment the lights dim and the applause stops, you will see something frightening, you will see silence from the ones who once swore they will never leave. You will send messages… and get ignored. You will call… and get excuses. You will break… and they will be too “busy” to help pick up the pieces. And then, standing alone in your dark valley, you will finally understand that trouble is not just a test of your strength, it is a test of your circle. Don’t wait till heartbreak to start discerning. Streamline your relationships early.

Mark those who didn’t leave when life got messy. Mark those who prayed for you when others gossiped. Mark those who didn’t need you to be perfect to be present. Because many of the people you call “friends” were only using your light to warm themselves. And when the fire goes out, they will vanish like smoke. Hear this, real love is quiet. It doesn’t need fanfare. It shows up. It stays. It stands. It carries. Build with people who want to build with you.
Walk with those who will still hold your hand when the road leads through fire. Laugh with those who will still cry with you when the world forgets your name. Don't forget that he who only claps for you when you are shining will not cover you when you are bleeding. He who only calls you “brother” or “sister” when the wine is flowing will not fast with you when life goes dry. And so, mark the ones who desired you when you were not desirable. When you had no crown but they still treated you like royalty. When you had no success but they still believed in your becoming. When your name meant nothing, yet they wrote it on their hearts. These are your people. They are not many, but they are enough. In this life, you don’t need a million hands clapping. You need just one hand holding you when you can’t stand.
Just one voice that whispers, “I’m still here” when the world gets too loud and cruel.
Just one soul that doesn’t count what you’ve lost, but reminds you of who you are.

So mark them. Love them deeply. Cherish them without shame. Because when the darkness comes, and it will, they will not only bring light… They will bring love.