04/11/2016
,Stud or Slut
A Lady wrote:
Dear Aunty Julie,
I'm in deep s**t over relationships. I'm a 35years old
woman and met a very handsome 43years old man.
We've been dating for five months now and still
haven't slept together. My problem is that in the
beginning of our relationship, he asked me how
many men have slept with and I worried about how
he would react, I lied and told him I'd slept with
seven men. But After a few months, I could not live
with the lie and finally decided to tell him the reason
why I still haven't slept with him yet.
I told him I didn't want to make love because I was
scared that he would lose respect and eventually
leave me like all the other men.
At this point he asked me again, just how many men
were there, to which I replied forty-three.
His reply was, "Hmmm, one for each of my birthday."
and from that day on, I never heard from him again.
I don't get it, why is it that when men sleep around,
they are called Studs, yet when women sleep around,
they're Slut?
Why can't women have their fun too?
Dudu Abuja.
Aunty Julie replied
Dear Dudu,
I've spoken with quite a number of women asking the
same question.
I don't want to pass judgement on women, nor am I
saying that women shouldn't enjoy themselves
s*xually.
But men and women are never the same.
You expressed fear about losing respect and the way I
feel as a woman is that women is that women should be worshipped by their men.
An object that has value is worshipped, respected, cherished, and shared with deserving persons. As soon as you start sharing that object with anyone and without care, the object starts to lose value. The more people use the object, the more of it depreciates and less bargaining power it has: this is a plain psychological fact of life.
Most women don't realize the importance men place on a woman's promiscuity. Women think that because men don't care about how many women they've slept with, they won't care about how many men their women has slept with. But the reality is that most men, the looking for a serious relationship and not a one-night stand do place great value on a woman's s*xual restraint.
There were times when many women cherished their bodies much like a sacred temple where only a noble man, one who respected and loved her, had access to her body.
But over time, it seems that women have failed to realize the important role their s*xuality plays in finding a long-term mate. Thanks to the women's movement, women are so busy trying to compete with men, including in the s*x department, that they fail to realize the consequences of their actions.
Today, it sees that women are the ones who are collecting notches on their Prada belts by giving their bodies away too easily. But if women themselves don't value their bodies like they used to, why should men?
Some women will argue that if men have right to sleep around, so should women. But I ask only one question:if women adamantly believe this, then why is it that when faced with the question of how many men have they slept with, most women who have slept with truckloads of men always lie?
Some women will rationalize the they must do so because men can't handle the truth. But if this is the case, why don't women let men decide for themselves if they can or can't handle it? Why do women need to lie to protect me egos? I think women lie to protect themselves rather than men because if it's not shame or regret that's making you hold your tongue, then the potentially dire consequences of the truth surely are.
The power lies with women...
