10/03/2026
On my previous post, I talked about s3xual tension in godly-based relationships, something most people tend to shy away from discussing , but I chose to address it. However , there is another struggle many people in faith-based relationships go through again that almost nobody talks about as well.
It is what I call SPIRITUAL COMPARISON .Let me explain.
Imagine two people in a relationship. Both love God . Both want to do the right thing. But one of them seems to be more "on fire." Maybe this person prays longer , studies the Bible more, or speaks very confidently about spiritual matters.
The other partner begins to notice it. At first , it is not a problem. But slowly, something begins to happen inside their mind.
They start asking themselves quiet questions like; why can't I pray like this? Why does my partner seem stronger spiritually than me? Am I disappointing them? Etc.
Now , before you know it, what should have been a place of growing together quietly becomes a place of pressure.
You see, instead of being honest about their struggles , the partner who feels weaker starts hiding it. They try to look stronger than they really are. When it's time to pray,they push themselves just to keep up. Not because they want to impress God , but because they don't want their partner to think they are weak.
And that is where the problem begins.
Because a relationship should never become a COMPETITION OF SPIRITUALITY.
It should be a safe place where both people can grow at their own pace. (However, not encouraging spiritual laziness though, but wisdom matters)
Let me even share something from my own experience with my wife.
Naturally ba , I tend to pray longer than she does (those who have prayed with me, knows). And there are times when we are both praying together and I can tell she has reached her peak. Sometimes she gets tired or burnt out.
When that happens, I usually round up the prayers so she can rest. And sometimes I continue praying afterwards on my own.
But one thing I have never done is compare her strength with mine. Never.
And the beautiful thing is that she also doesn't fake it just to keep up with me o. If she is tired , she is honest about it. That's one thing with my wife, she doesn't know how to pretend . And I don't judge her for that. Instead, I encourage her.
So you see, no one feels unsafe. No one feels pressured to perform. That is how it should be.
A healthy relationship ba, is not where two people are trying to prove who is more spiritual o. It is where both people feel safe enough to grow , to be honest about their weaknesses, and to help each other become better version of themselves. Period! Nothing more, nothing less.
May God bless our homes & relationships. Amen. Shalom!
βοΈ: The Finished Man In Love ππ
