theteensmum

17/06/2025

When someone encounters a situation that triggers past trauma and takes proactive steps to address it, others may feel as though they haven't healed. However, what if they are not stuck in the past, but rather learning to navigate it?

For example, a person who has been in a toxic relationship may recognise similar red flags in a new partner and take necessary precautions. This doesn't necessarily mean that the individual is still traumatised; it could indicate that they are recognizing patterns and applying lessons learned from past mistakes to avoid repeating them.

It's important to understand the difference between the lasting impact of trauma and the natural process of learning from past experiences. This distinction is why we should encourage those who have experienced trauma to seek professional help from a therapist.

Healing also involves integrating the lessons learned into our present lives; it is not about completely erasing the past. Of course, healing does not mean forgetting one's negative experiences.

Are you in the process of true emotional healing, sign up for our Trauma healing sessions.

For more, send us a message.

09/06/2025

Another movie recommendation is; "Family hurt". You can watch it on YouTube.

This particular movie reminded me of what I shared some time ago.👇👇👇

Entitlement epidemic in the family setting and when family members become emotional blackmailers

Have you ever encountered a family member who expects to get their way at all costs? They throw tantrums, make accusations and even guilt trip you into doing their bidding. They believe the world owes them a favour and everyone else is just a pawn in their entitlement game.

This attitude, backed by emotional blackmail, can be incredibly damaging to family relationships because it creates tension, conflict and resentment among loved ones.

Entitlement is not just about the individual but it's also about the environment that enables it. In such situations, you should understand that you can't control their behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it by taking positive actions towards discouraging it. It's tough but you should consider these:

1. Stop giving in to demands because you want to avoid conflict. Remember that not all conflicts are bad, some are necessary.
2. Stop making excuses for bad behaviour instead call them out on love. No excuse is good enough to tolerate an entitlement mentality or emotional blackmail.
3. Stop providing constant emotional validation. Instead, allow them to deal with the facts and face reality. In that way, they will sort themselves out.

07/06/2025

When you experience repeated negative patterns or exposure, especially within a dysfunctional family, consciously or unconsciously, you may internalise and incorporate these experiences into your sense of identity.

This can lead to acceptance and normalisation of dysfunctional behaviours.

A dysfunctional behaviour refers to harmful, unhealthy or destructive patterns of thoughts, emotions and actions.

For instance:
This can include witnessing ongoing abuse between family members, experiencing a father or mother who abandons the family or is emotionally unavailable, and a lack of sibling support due to rivalry, unhealthy competition, resentment or selfishness, abusive language within the family which contribute to a toxic environment and so on.

Repeated exposure to dysfunctional behaviours can make them seem normal and acceptable, ultimately influencing your identity and hurting you. There are two ways to address these dysfunctional behaviours: You can either transfer them or break them.

Which option do you prefer: transferring or breaking them?

Dysfunctional family characteristics 🚩🚩
Toxic parenting,Lack of empathy,Emotional manipulation,Low esteem,Abuse, Negligent,Anger/aggressiveness, Depression,addiction,High conflict home,Unstable emotion/poor emotional regulation.

Things that feel normal when you grow up in a dysfunctional home ( except there's an intervention or the cycle is broken) 💔 💔 💔
Walking on eggshells, conditional/transactional love,power struggles, ready to fight or fright, judgemental and excessive criticism especially towards self and others, bottling up of emotions (emotional scars), pretending to be fine, not seeking help...

Again , this is one of the reasons you must attend our Premarital counselling class before finalising your marriage plans. Our MPC will assist you to break the cycle of dysfunctional behavior traced to dysfunctional home so you don't repeat the same pattern in your home.

Emotional problems are too expensive to be managed. Sort it out now while you can.

Send a message for further inquiries.

04/06/2025

Trauma is a response to any event that psychologically overwhelms you, often resulting in shock, denial, guilt, sadness, anger.
Traumatic events are overwhelmingly unplanned situations that shatter your entire life in a thousand ways.

For instance, terrible car accidents, abuse, war, r**e, natural disaster, loss of a loved one, witnessing the trauma of others, direct or indirect abduction.

The same experience may be traumatic to you and not be to another person.
Trauma responses are different ways people respond to traumatic events.

Apart from fight, flight, freeze and fawn as trauma responses, other trauma responses are;
Trauma reaction, Trauma arousal, Trauma pleasure, Trauma blocking, Trauma abstinence, Trauma splitting.

Prolonged trauma can affect many areas of your life, including your emotional, social and physical well-being. The effect can be long lasting but healing from traumatic experiences is achievable. Through our Trauma informed care (TIC), a trauma patient can recover and heal.

Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. It is where an individual experiencing abuse develops intense attachment for their abuser ( a person who has caused them intense harm and pain). This kind of trauma exists in an abusive relationship where you see a woman/man attached to their abusive partner even in repeated series of abuse... Read more in the comment section.

01/06/2025

Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith — it is the price of love.

Some days, it comes in waves; other days, it feels like a heavy fog. There is no timeline, no "right way" to grieve. Be gentle with yourself.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting but finding ways to carry love forward, even through the pain.

If you're grieving, you're not alone. Take it one breath, one memory, one moment at a time.

Remember, you're not alone. We're here to give you all the professional assistance you need to pull through this challenging moment.

19/05/2025

Before “I Do”; A One-Day Marriage Preparation Webinar

Before the wedding… comes the wisdom.
Join us for a powerful, one-day virtual experience designed to help engaged and dating couples build a strong, lasting foundation for marriage.

What to Expect:
1. Expert guidance from a certified counsellor
2. Real conversations about love, communication & finances
3. How to know if he/she is the right partner for you
4. The first discussion in courtship
5. A safe space for your questions

BONUSES:
1. Free temperament test
2. Tools to handle conflict
3. The first thing to do during and after your first date
4. Now that you have said "Yes", what next?

Date: Saturday, 21th June, 2025
Time: 8 pm
Location: Virtual
Access Fee: 1,000

Limited slots are available, it will be on a first-come basis. Register now and prepare for a love that lasts.

Your forever starts with a strong beginning.
For more information, see the flyer or Msg: (+234)9135544295

Register now!!!. Do not say tomorrow because by then the slots would be taken.

28/04/2025

Our Marital Bliss Class ; A Pre-marital Counselling Programme for high-net-worth engaged couples is designed to prepare you for the Marital Bliss journey. Join the next MPC session and discover:

★Compartibility and tolerance
★How to handle conflict without damaging your relationship.
★How to heal and deal with childhood trauma.
★How to handle differences, expectations and commitment.
★Setting expectations around finances, family, and faith.
★Tools to grow intimacy and romance.
★Red flags and potential pitfalls to watch out for.
★How to manage and set boundaries with inlaws and families and so much more.

*The next session starts in June. To get a 15% discount, register between now and the next 48 hours.*

To register, see the flier.

08/04/2025

27/03/2025

Powerful !!!
A must read for all medical students.

Hi future Doctors!, let's talk about "The Weight of expectation that Feels like you're in a Pressure Cooker"

You're not alone in feeling like you're under a microscope 24/7, from your family to friends to society at large; it seems like everyone is expecting you to ace medical school and become a superstar doctor. But let's be real... the pressure can be overwhelming at times. I mean, sometimes you feel like you're drowning in a sea of textbooks, notes, and exam preparations.

So, What's Driving This Pressure?
I believe it's a mix of things.
➖There's this expectation from your family that you'll become a successful doctor and support them financially, of course, especially after all the financial sacrifices from them.
➖There's the societal pressure to excel in medical school since it's seen as such a prestigious field.
➖ Let's not forget the personal pressure you put on yourself to succeed because you hate failure and the stigma associated with dropping out of medical school.

But then, there's a need to strike a balance between succeeding and management of the weight of pressure that comes with it. The time when you feel burned out, anxious or depressed, know that you're not alone. Many have struggled with these feelings at some point or another, and the good thing is that those who remain resilient have successful stories to tell. In striking a balance:
✅Learn to manage the pressure and prioritize your well-being, it comes first.
✅Communicate openly with your loved ones about those feelings associated with their expectations and also suggest positive ways to support you.
✅Manage stress associated with societal expectations by constantly reminding yourself that your worth and identity extend far beyond your academic performance.
✅Believe in yourself and your ability to go through medical school and become a successful doctor. This belief will help you pull through.

I want to remind you that you're enough, regardless of your grades or achievements. You're not alone; join our support group for medical students, where we offer professional therapy to you. To join 👇👇👇.

17/03/2025

Wishing you an amazing week !!!

15/03/2025

Dear mum,

“There's no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one"— Jill Churchill.
Focus on being a good mum rather than being a perfect mum. All that you're doing we see and appreciate you.

It's Saturday, remember to take a break and rest.