Shamseddin Giwa

03/07/2025

Getting married as a woman needs you to align your journey with that of the man you married. Many women make the mistake of thinking it means they should abandon themselves completely.

So, they give it all up, career, self care, self development, acquisitions etc, and it would feel like it's worth it. However, men give up a lot but never really forget their own journeys.

As a man, one can give up all the earnings to wife and children but it happens as he wants it. All of that is being given up towards a dream he has about family. That's just one example.

Eventually though, these wives get to a point where they realize just how much they have let go but it often feels like being too late.

For many, it's when the children leave the home to start their own that it dawn's that you hid behind the excuse of "doing it for the children". It is expected to make sacrifices for the children but not so much you have nothing left of your original self and positive identity.

When you find some mothers fighting for relevance with the wives of their children, it is because this is where they poured everything.

Beyond being the wife of your spouse, mother of your children, who are you?

Career, education, income, properties, spirituality; these are also important.

The biggest irony is that this may even become the reason your spouse desires someone else.

Before you are a wife or mother, don't forget, you are first a human being. Pay attention to that human being too.

What are you doing today to make yourself better?

Raise your children, be a good wife but someday, children will move away from home and spouse may even look to another. What would you have done for yourself that can sustain you?

The time is now!

03/07/2025

25 pairs of shoes - 15 unused in 5 years
16 bags - 9 unused in the last 5 years
23 dresses - 13 unused in the last 5 years
23 native attires - 10 unused in the last 5 years
20 head ties - 12 unused in the last 5 years

"It will be useful, it will be useful"
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Women, this is stinginess o 🤣🤣🤣.

Hoarding things not needed when, right there in your life, there's at least one person who can be blessed through you.

Be the reason someone smiles this season.
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But no, women still want to tell themselves they have 16 bags, even though na 9.

Dash somebody and clear the house, ah.

03/07/2025

Dear Bachelor,

Don't be fooled, it's tough out there, but again, don't be fooled, you can survive and thrive out there.

If life is smiling on you then you've probably secured a stable source of legit income now, but then again, if you are like many of us, you have already found out what we chose to lie to ourselves about, the money is small.

Your family may have started reminding you that getting married is next (don't worry if they haven't started, they soon will), if you are lucky, you'll already have someone you want to marry.

One of the biggest mistakes you can ever make is to think that you'll sort all you need when it's time to get married. Many of us tried it, it didn't work (and so a marriage intention for one year got shifted forward by over half a decade).

You know how much you earn and for many, it's almost impossible to live comfortably, let alone take on projects.

Start small, start now.

If television is the only thing you are able to acquire this year, do it. Next year, you won't have to worry about it. It will look ridiculous at first to be honest, but I promise you, with each thing you acquire, the picture makes more sense and suddenly you can see what and where the next item would be.

Last year, you thought you'd get enough money to set up your house at once this year. Months into this year, how's that plan coming? Even cost of relocation you thought you’d save up for has gone up!

Pick one item per period to acquire, when you are done, face the next.
In 24 months, you'd look back at this move and smile. Someone would still be waiting for that big hit to start.

03/07/2025

Close your eyes and picture your wife having a s*xual affair with someone else.

Your mind is struggling to even process it yeah? Even when it does, do you see how much it hurts?

That’s just a thought. Imagine getting confirmation of it. Imagine she initiated the move. Imagine finding it’s with different men.

Bear that in mind when next you decide to have an affair thinking it’s no big deal. Imagine all the text, video calls, nudes shared, different positions in unthinkable places you do with others thinking it’s not a big deal. Imagine her doing that to other men.
It is capable of damaging your wife, the woman you married and promised to care for.

Don’t worry if it makes you uncomfortable. Hopefully, it is enough to start embracing a change.

03/07/2025

I know good marriages exist.

Not flawless, not without challenges to navigate but beautiful all the same.

I know good spouses exist, husbands and wives.

I know because I try to be a good spouse, not flawless, not without room for improvement but good all the same.

I know because I am blessed with the most amazing wife ever who tries to be better. Not flawless, not without room for improvement but amazing all the same.

Beautiful marriages exist, beautiful spouses exist, husband and wife. Don’t let anyone tell you they don’t, don’t let anyone tell you it’s beyond you to be and achieve.

03/07/2025

Errrm.....well, actually, it's like.....sisters, over to you.

Wetin person eye dey see ehn, unto just kini oooo. No wahala.

03/07/2025

After all, you are married! Don't be the boring one.

Get blessed for getting blessed....then make that fun.

Oga sir, if you see anything you like, no shame o, suggest it or better still, buy it.

Madam, shy shy no help anybody o. I talk my own.

Ok bye.

03/07/2025

The smile you see on many is the only thing they can afford, the only fight they can put up.

I pray today for everyone going through severe times but cannot even afford tears, everyone still in this fight.

The Most Beneficent, Most Merciful will hear your screams inaudible to the world, wipe your tears unseen by all and heal your hurt too painful to express.
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Say "Please come to my aid and help me for if You choose not to, no other being can".

Say it to yourself, say it over and over again, then let go of the hurt and embrace hope.....

03/07/2025

Long before we became husbands, we were already well infused with the mind to have affairs on the side. Of course many did not even know they had the tendency to do it but what were we surrounded with?

Ours was and still is a society that raises young men to see having extramarital affairs as a right and a credit. With friends, you are the man and even envied.
So, even from preparing for your marriage in so called bachelor's eve celebrations, you are literally welcomed into marriage with girls.

This has been so normalized, hearing it for what it is feels like preaching but then are we really helping men become the best husbands they can be? Are we, as adult men also trying to be the best husbands we can be?

Hard to go through a phone today and not find a payload of questionable actions, affairs and pictures.

Yet, when that time comes (and the time will come) when the window opens and the chance to change positively presents itself, we address it either by further normalizing it or blaming away.

As a young (and even older) husband, ladies will come at you (including many who had the chance to be with you before you got married but did not want you), the availability will shock you, the support from society will embolden you and the natural challenge of getting marriage right will present you with the opportunity, space and time. But you see, in the end, when you've done it, and either gotten into trouble at home or not, you'd realise it is not worth it.

You'd think that's bad until you see how many don't even realise it's not worth it so they continue, straining their homes, stressing their spouses, and becoming another part of the statistics that younger ones can point to in the negative.

Your marriage is worth holding on to, it is worth staying true to. Whatever you think is out there can be replicated and made better in your marriage.

Yes, we say the society encourages a lot but in the end, you are responsible for your choices. Be better than those before you.

The temptation is real but you are stronger, better than whatever it offers.

03/07/2025

Two good people can have a bad marriage.

Puzzling right?

You see, Character is what makes you good but good character is not all you need to have a good marriage.

A good marriage needs other things including finance, intimacy, zeal, spirituality, etc.

How many times have you heard of marriages struggling because there's no money, because s*x is poor, because there's no desire by one partner or more to work hard and grow, because spirituality levels differ etc?

These are real issues relatively independent of character which a good person can face.

A good marriage is deliberate, you have to be consistent in seeking to sustain it with efforts and upgrades. Even after this, you still need to support it with prayers.

So no, it is not enough to just be good. For a good marriage, you need more.

03/07/2025

Men this and that, yet it is women who are side chicks! Some of you, married while at it.

No, your husband pushed you into it, it’s his fault always.

Getting better begins with you too.

03/07/2025