29/08/2025
CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE, DISRESPECT IS NOT.
Some years back, a couple booked a session with me.
During the session they shared with me how they had been married for five years, but always found themselves arguing over something as small as grocery shopping. The husband would always want to stick to the budget, but the wife would always want to add “extra” for the kids.
This happened frequently in their marriage and suddenly what began as a simple disagreement quickly turned tense.
During their session, they started raising their voices.
The husband said, “You never think about saving!” The wife responded back, “You never care about what the kids need!”
For a moment, it felt like they weren’t just disagreeing about groceries—they were questioning each other’s intentions. The issue wasn’t the shopping list anymore; it was the hurt from words spoken without care by both of them.
I allowed them for a moment, and when they were through. I told them.
“Every marriage has conflict—Conflict is a part of life. But disrespect? That’s optional.
Conflict can be resolved, Resolving conflicts in healthy ways can even make a couple stronger.
Disrespect, however, attacks and breaks trust and intimacy.
The key is learning to fight fair: attack the problem, not the person.
After counseling them.they agreed to do things differently..
Some weeks after their session, they called me. When I asked them how things were going they told me that they still argue sometimes, but they’ve learned to pause, listen, and remember they’re on the same team.
The truth is, every marriage or relationship will face conflict—it’s part of what happens when two different people start learning to share life together.
Disagreements over finances, parenting, habits, or even small daily choices are normal.
Conflict isn’t the enemy; in fact, it can lead to deeper understanding and stronger connection.
The real danger is when conflict turns into disrespect.
Here's How to Handle Conflict Without Disrespect
📍Use words that build, not break.
📍Focus on the issue, not on attacking your partner.
📍Listen with the intent to understand, not just to respond.
📍Take a pause when emotions run high.
Remember: you and your spouse are on the same team, not opposing sides.
Conflict is a natural part of every relationship, but disrespect should never be. When you choose respect, even in heated moments you will still protect the foundation of your marriage.
So disagree, debate, and even argue, but do it with honor. Because love can survive conflict, but it cannot survive constant disrespect.
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