18/09/2025
I remember a call with a client one evening. She spoke freely about many things, almost circling the same points, but I could hear in her voice that something was sitting underneath. So I asked her directly, "What exactly is weighing on you?" There was a pause, the kind that stretches longer than words. Then she said quietly, It was something he said to me three years ago.
The quarrel itself she could not even recall in detail. Who raised their voice first? Who stormed off? None of it was clear anymore. But the words, those remained sharp. That is the strange power of words. Actions fade into the background, but words stay. They plant themselves like seeds in the mind. You may move on, you may even forgive, but the seed is already in the soil.
She told me she had truly forgiven him. She had seen the sincerity in his apology, and she had accepted it fully. Yet, even with forgiveness, the words lived on. Sometimes when he does something completely ordinary, the memory of those words rises up again as if they were spoken yesterday. That is how the mind works. In psychology, it's called IMPRINT. The brain records not just the sentence but also the feeling that came with it. And when something in the present resembles that old feeling, the seed stirs again and grows.
This is not about hostility. It is not about blame. It is about understanding that words do not vanish when spoken. They go into the heart, they lodge in memory, and they replay themselves long after the moment has passed. Even if laughter follows, even if peace is made, words still sit there waiting.
I have seen this pattern again and again, not just in relationships but in friendships and families, even between people who have not spoken in years. Words carry weight beyond their moment. They can build someone up, or they can slowly wear them down.
This is why I keep saying, "Watch your words even in anger." They will plant themselves whether you mean them or not. Once planted, they do not disappear. They either grow into weeds that choke, or they turn into roots that hold the person up.
Queen of Hearts 🤍
