27/02/2020
HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON
Yesterday, I defined and explained in detail who the right person is. Just to refresh your memory, I said that the right person is someone who is suitable to you, compatible with you, in agreement with you, yokeable with you, has a good character and is the will of God for your life. I suggest you go back to part one of this article for more understanding.
In this second part of the article, what I want to do is show you how you can find the right person to marry. So, by the end of this article, you should know how to go about finding the right person.
Like I said yesterday, the importance of marrying the right person cannot be overemphasized because that's the number key to a successful marriage. When you marry the right person, your problem in a marriage is half solved. When you marry the person, he will bring out the best in you.
We have an example of someone that got married to the right person, his name is Isaac, the son of Abraham. When he was 40 years old, he got married. The Bible recorded that when Rebecca entered into his life, he was comforted. He had recently lost his mom but when Rebecca came into his life, he was greatly comforted. That's what happens when you marry the right person, you will be comfortable(Gen 24: 67).
Ways Of Finding The Right Person
1. Be The Right Person First
In Luke 6: 41-42 Jesus is asking, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
Many of us are concerned about marrying the right person meanwhile they're not even close to being the right person. One of the reasons why many of us find it difficult to find the right person is because we are hardly the right person ourselves. When you are a right person and I am a right person too, we will easily find ourselves.
So, the number way of finding the right person is to be one yourself. You cannot be Mammy Water and you want to marry an Angel. It doesn't work that way. More often than not, you will always attract your kind. Like attract like.
You want a God fearing man, are you God fearing yourself? You want someone with a good character, do you have a good character? Don't be like the Pharisees that have planks in their eyes but going about looking for those with dust in their eyes. First, be a right person then, you will see clearly when a right person passes by.
2. Pray About it
In Gen 24, we saw how Isaac found Rebecca that brought comfort to his life. Abraham sent his chief servant to go to his tribe and look for a wife for his son. The chief servant wasn't canal about finding a wife for his master's son, he prayed about it and God answered him(verses 12-15).
Normally, you shouldn't do anything without prayer. But when it comes to marriage, I think you need to pray more because anyone you marry, you're handing your life over to that person. That is the person you're going to be vulnerable with all the days of your life. That's the person you will sleep with, eat with and virtually do everything with.
In Proverbs 3:6-7, the Scripture says that in all your ways you should acknowledge God and He will direct your steps. In Matthew 7:7-8, the Scripture also says that you should ask, seek and knock and you will receive, you will find and the door will be open for you.
So, pray and ask God if the person you're with right now or about to enter into a relationship with is the right person for you. Pray and ask Him to direct you to someone that's right for you!
3. Date And Court Properly
Dating and courtship are practically the same thing. They are ways of assessing, examining and determining the suitability of a person as a life partner. They are ways of finding out if someone is right to be a wife or husband. The only difference between dating and courtship is that in dating no third party is involved while in courtship, third party is involved, like your pastor and church marriage committee is aware of you two and they're guiding and watching over you.
Some people don't understand the essence of dating and courting hence they abuse it. Dating and courtship are not going from one restaurant to another eating fried rice and chicken, gulping down cups of ice-cream, visiting the cinema and eating popcorn, visiting the beach, attending functions together etc. These things are just social activities involved in dating and courtship but they're not dating or courtship itself.
Dating and courtship provide you with an opportunity to get to know someone. They give an opportunity to learn about someone, especially a member of the opposite s*x. They give you the opportunity to ask the person questions about his beliefs, the things he believes in, his values, hobbies, interests, aspirations, health, finance and virtually everything about him or her.
4. Observe The Person
Few days ago, a lady sent me a message seeking advice. A man with four kids who is claiming never to be married is coming for her. This man has refused to come see her people and to make matters worse, he used to beat her on top. I didn't waste my time telling her to run, if she loves her life.
To observe means to carefully note, record or to pay attention to something. Many scientific theories and inventions we have today, came through observation. That's to say that we can learn one or two things from observation.
So, take time to observe the person. How does he or she react to issues, people? What are the things he or loves to do or talk about often? Observe. Pay attention to details. You can learn so much from observing the person.
5. Investigate The Person
Growing in the village, when a man wants to marry, he will send some emissaries to the girl's village to go and ask questions from people close by. The same thing from the girl's side, they will send people to the guy's place to go and ask questions. More often than not, the feedback they get will determine whether or not they will proceed with the marriage. They marry then based on recommendation.
Ask for honest feedback from people close to that person you are considering, his or friends, colleagues at work, siblings, relatives etc. It's not everything they say is likely to be true but when they are all practically saying the same thing, at least there will be some truths in them.
Feedback is powerful. So, don't joke with this. Don't be a blind lover. Ask questions from the person's friends, neighbors, colleagues, etc.
Alright friends, here you have it, 5 ways you can find the right person for marriage. May you not miss it maritally.
Thanks for reading
© Okolie Samuel
