https://selar.com/m/themoneytherapist

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist, Igbajo, Oyo (2026)

03/05/2026

Everyday, at 8pm, I . It doesn't matter what is happening or how urgent and important it is, I just press the pause button.

Now, let's talk about the why before we discuss the how of it - plus how this revelation might empower your finances…

Fully aware of the blessings and responsibility of LLI, I have a duty to keep my mind functioning optimally. It is I who must balance the rush of both familiar and unfamiliar stimuli with the stamina that only solitude can supply.

Next, the how…

Pausing the world, for me, is both a spiritual and a psychological exercise.

As an Ambassador of Christ, it is my opportunity to check in with HQ. Just like we sometimes scan through our work emails while on vacation, I choose to check in - to see whether Heaven has a need for a human to accomplish a specific agenda on earth.

No, I wouldn't be permanently prevented from entering Heaven if I don't check in often enough. Yet, both Heaven and Earth benefit from my being available. So, I show up.

In this light, I could pray or sing or dance or have the Bible read to me or just be mute. Sometimes, I am too exhausted to even choose what to think. So, I just disconnect from a webinar or my phone altogether and sit still until I feel refreshed again.

Then there is the psychological dimension to my pausing the world. Think of this as meditation.

Sometimes, I dictate to my mind what we will unbundle together. At other times, I hand the reins over to my mind to lead. (Sebí, I kúkú have the mind of Christ?)

Irrespective of who is leading (my mind or me), meditation helps me to pick on ideas that Heaven is ready to release to the earth. It is the privilege I leverage to create what I will soon see in my world. It is my opportunity to deepen my faith that a thing others believe to be impossible is actually possible. (I can't unsee what I have seen, you know?) It is executing an idea end-to-end before as much as moving a muscle on the outside.

Now, how do these revelations impact your finances, right? Here's how:

1. You must know you to function at your best. The more you know about yourself, the better you get at filtering what to focus your energies on. Invariably, you get better at achieving more with minimal stress. Should you become more or less client-facing, for example, in order to remain energised at the end of the work day?

2. It is your responsibility to know you. No one can do that for you. Since Jesus died to reconcile us to God, we must now go to God directly to learn what He had in mind when He was manufacturing us. So, step up and ask God. What you learn directly from Him will heal you of that why-is-it-that-they-don't-understand-me worry that gnaws at you from time to time.

3. In much the same way that you long to gist with a beloved friend or sibling, God wants to gist with you. He wants to tell you of things to come. God wants to gist with you like He did with His friend, Biblical Abraham. Make room for Him. Because, Gentleman that He is, God won't force His way into your domain. You have to invite Him.

4. There are new ideas to be released to advance humanity. There also are ideas that have already been released to the earth but haven't been fully developed. Develop them further and people will pay you to experience that solution you have provided. So, schedule your rest, be available, be present like someone is bringing you money - because someone is.

Sometimes, you need to do more to make more money. At other times, you need to do less.

You wouldn't know which to do per time, though, except you step away from the constant hum and listen - really listen. Then you can chart a course that's uniquely you.

I'm here: selar.com/thinkwithme if you'd like us to discuss further. Let's get you on a path that retains both your humanity and spirituality while putting money sustainably in your pocket.

Talk soon, hopefully.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

02/05/2026

Hannah had just about had it. Always the prudent one. Never one to splurge. Obeying all the rules with respect to handling money maturely…

It's almost as if she'd never really enjoyed her money. Because, 10 straight years of working and it would seem that she is the only one in her circle steadily missing out on life.

“Why are things like this for me? When would I ever have fun like others do?” she worries in her private moments.

Now, it's not like Hannah is a sadist or anything like that. Deep down, she wants to experience the kind of satisfaction that others seem to have when they go for the popular recreational activities. She wants to no longer be the butt of jokes to her face or gossip behind her back - all due to her unshakable commitment to delayed gratification.

For context, Hannah plans her money carefully, sending more into her future than she is spending today. In fact, she ensures to lock her money in illiquid assets such that, even emergencies check very well whether to visit her or not. And, on the rare occasion that they do, the emergencies know to restrict their sizes to what her savings can cover, not one inch bigger.

Unfortunately, all these “good financial habits” seem to earn her more disdain amongst the people she cares about the most:

1. Her family members don't even bother to invite her to family contributions anymore. “That one? But you already know she does everything based on her budget, now? Did she tell you that she made room in her budget for a party this year?”

2. Her friends continue to make it clear that they aren't impressed with her choices of what to eat at hangouts. “Why bother to come hangout with us if you wouldn't order the same foods we order?”

3. Her colleagues actually make a bet on how many aṣọ-ẹbís Hannah will buy for their events each year. “If she buy more than 2 this year, make I bend,” said one to another as Hannah strolled into the office kitchen the other day. Hannah just went to the office fridge, took out her lunch, warmed it and went to eat in the garden instead.

4. Her group of fellow church workers has begun to discuss amongst themselves, “This one never contributes to anything we are doing here.” And, that comment hurt more because Hannah makes huge contributions directly to the church’s account.

5. Her industry colleagues, who have a need to paint the town red at each location of their annual conferences, ask her along knowing she would decline. “We already know say you no go come, but make e no be like say we ask everybody and we no ask you. You go show? Àbí, na same same?”

So, Hannah is wondering…

This future that I am preparing for, sef…? Is it worth it? Am I doing the right thing by saving and investing as much as I am? Is it possible to enjoy life with this kind of outlook on life? Or, are my lenses wrongly coloured? Why am I the one different in every circle? They can't all be wrong, can they?

If you're a Hannah, here's what you might need to hear…

1. You're not problematic. No, you aren't. You didn't choose what to be excited by or not. Neither did the other people in your circle. Nobody chose wrongly. They simply like and dislike what they do. And you have a right to that, too.

2. In spite of our natural inclinations, we all have the power to choose what to feed and what to quell. Do not cede that power to anyone, no matter how harsh or even friendly their voices. Check within: Do I want this type of celebration because I do or because other people think I should?

3. Consequences, like rewards, are predictable. That they haven't arrived yet doesn't mean that they wouldn't. So, rest in the knowledge that everybody else may be wrong after all. (Well, we hope not. Otherwise everything you have been sending into the future would have to be shared with the same people on a cruise right now that you can't afford.)

4. Define the activities that truly feed your soul and invest in them. It's okay if other people think that you are miserable. What's not okay is for you to actually be miserable. Live a little. Find out what rejuvenates your spirit and make room in your budget for it.

5. People are important. As annoying and careless and overbearing and disrespectful and…as human beings can be, we still need them around, or life will feel empty when it shouldn't. So, budget for some of these things you consider to be irresponsibilities. It's not because of the people involved. It's for you. It's for your peace. You can't do this for everybody. However, you can find, say, 5 people whose excesses you will absorb or whose demands of you you will honour without probing. Just 5. Or less. It helps, of course, if these 5 have some utility value, too.

We can discuss some more here: selar.com/thinkwithme, if you just want to speak to a neutral person about how you feel. You'll emerge from the session knowing precisely what to do in each scenario - to win your honour back and never lose it again.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

01/05/2026

Gabe works hard. My God! I mean haaaarrrrdddd! And this is not even a case of him working hard when he can work smart.

Gabe finds a smart way to do anything, then doubles down on it. He works hard AFTER figuring out the smart way.

Then, Gabe's commitment to hard work as a lifestyle is multifaceted.

As an entrepreneur, you can go to sleep when you commission Gabe to deliver a product or service. This is because Gabe knows what to do to avoid or confront bottlenecks that others expect you to excuse. He has two backup plans for every plan and will still create up to 3 plans. Your job will arrive excellently and on schedule, no matter what hindrance “everybody in the industry” is experiencing at the time.

How about socially? Gabe works very hard there, too. He invests in each relationship with the diligence of one investing all of his/her life-savings in one investment vehicle.

Gabe networks upwards, downwards and sideways with uncanny ease. Observe Gabe in a gathering of the high and mighty and you will quickly notice that he is not just loved but respected. Well, why not, if his dynamism continues to make them look good where it matters the most? Many in the room will readily admit that Gabe is the reason some of their flaws aren't very obvious to the people they lead.

You should know, too, that Gabe’s peers rely on him for help with navigating business challenges as much as they do with personal relationships. It isn't unusual for Gabe to stay up late at night, counseling a colleague as to the need to woo his spouse all over again. And if he has to show up in person at the other end of town to prostrate and beg an aggrieved spouse, Gabe will happily do it.

Then, Gabe has a very flexible charity budget. If he is told about a stranger going through hard times, he just must do something about it. Gabe wouldn't just send money in that direction. Rather, he will invite other friends along as they go to deliver the specific needs of that indigent person. Gabe is the type to not just pay the rent but furnish the house, purchase food enough to last a few weeks at least and give money to begin a trade. The only way he knows to solve problems is holistically.

Examined intellectually, Gabe couldn't be found wanting there either. For him, only the best is good enough. So, if he is as much as considering a new line of business, he would look out for the best or most unusual ways to approach the business. Best believe that Gabe will:

- find out what obtains globally,

- explore how to adapt it to the local context,

- then still rack his brain until he finds a way to distinguish his own offering of that product or service even further.

In religious circles, Gabe stands out. He would arrive at least 30 minutes before any service or external event begins to coordinate the volunteers on the team. He doesn't even hold an official title. However, the leaders of the team find him so reliable that they sometimes drop the ball, knowing that Gabe will be there to pick it up.

Within his extended family, Gabe is:

- the mediator amongst his cousins,

- the one who coordinates the vendors engaged for family events (he knows and recommended them for the gigs, after all),

- the Uncle who mentors his nieces and nephews (read as: drives some to piano lessons when his siblings are unavailable to, provides career guidance to the older ones, hosts quarterly movie nights for all, etc.),

- etc.

It is unforgivable, therefore, that a person who puts in this much work should have money struggles. How, now? How can a person work this hard, be this useful to humanity and still not experience financial ease?

You know who the Gabe in your family is, don't you?

Or, are you the one functioning in this capacity? Are you the one who is there for everyone, and about to buckle under that weight?

I just want you to know that I see you. I really do. And, I understand. Deeply.

On this , I celebrate you.

If you'd like a discount on any of the money therapy services here: selar.com/m/themoneytherapist, please let me know. Just leave me a PRIVATE message on this platform and we'll begin the journey to wholesome living.

You do a lot for others. It'd be an honour to be able to do something for you, too.

Reach out, alright?

A bouquet of premium money therapy services priced for bi-weekly and monthly subscription payments.

30/04/2026

To shield her from regret, Franca vehemently refuses to review any decision.

You see…

Franca can do all the permutations, combinations, SWOT, even PESTEL analysis before the decision is made. But, once that's done, her nose is up in the air, chest puffed out. “On to the next!” she says more to herself than to anyone in particular.

Truth be told, Franca hadn't always adopted this position. Time was when she did both the pre- and post-decision explorations. Then she graduated from school and got into the world of job applications. That was when the shift happened.

From only needing to fill out one or two applications at the most (and, if at all) in a 3-month period, Franca became one who'd send out up to 30 job applications per week. Then AI strolled into the arena and that number increased to 100.

The rejections came in almost matching frequency. “After a careful review of your application, we regret to inform you that… “ At first, Franca would sink into prolonged sadness. Soon, though, it became easier to bear. Especially after she learnt about Rejection Therapy, Franca began to look upon her job applications as merely a game of numbers: the more she sent out, the higher her chances of securing a job.

Well, the job application phase came to a temporary end when Franca secured a lucrative job. However, the coping mechanism she developed along the way remained with her. “Don't reflect so that you don't regret,” she would boldly counsel her friends. And because of the influence she wields within her circle, Franca became the amateur Financial Advisor to her friends.

No, she didn't seek out that title. Neither was she invited into office, per se. Franca just repeated that mantra often enough and in response to any challenge raised for discussion. And then “no reflection” became the group think for her group. Invariably, it began to reflect in their finances alongside other areas of life.

For her friends and for Franca, a permanent stance had been taken based on a temporary intervention. And, the reward for all her job application hard work was now gradually being eroded.

If you are or know a Franca, here's additional information to thrown into the decision-making model that has guided decisions thus far:

1. Regret just happened to be the most dominant emotion during the initial phase of the job application experience. There were other emotions felt and possible that may not have been labelled. Zeroing in on the negative doesn't negate the existence of the positives.

2. The positive outcomes for post-decision reflection include: pattern recognition, framework protection and perpetuation, qualification for leadership by permission, etc.

3. In essence, daring to think about why you made specific money decisions at the time you made them could help you:

a. notice triggers,

b. decide which to retain,

c. learn how to induce the beneficial triggers at will and

d. become the person who leads because others want to follow - not because they don't want to offend you.

So, if like Franca you struggle with coming face-to-face with your financial decisions, let's do it together. Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

You are the one doing the hard work that makes money flow in your direction. Let's put you in the driver's seat for where that income should take you now and in the future, shall we?

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

29/04/2026

Dave would usually hide his money from his wife, Emma. However, that's not a habit he is proud of.

You see…

Dave grew up in a household where conversations about money were normal. His Dad could just throw it in as they watched football together on a regular Saturday afternoon that he is considering selling his Oando shares to buy Nestlé ones. Dave wasn't even sure he actually understood the difference between growth stocks and value stocks back then. Neither could he say for sure what metrics his father was judging by to know that it was time to sell. It was just a conversation that needed no announcement before it happened.

Dave and his siblings also grew up writing down a list of things they needed ahead of their school's resumption. They never knew with precision how much their Dad had allocated to school needs - whether his allocation slices off 10% or 30% of their total. All they knew was that they had to:

- document all that popped in their heads as needs,

- think through again to disqualify some as wants,

- defend whatever remained after stage 2 screening before a panel of judges comprising his siblings,

and then,

- wait a few days to see whether their budget had passed final reading or not. Lol.

The entire experience was a fun one, especially because Dave’s Mum could offer to match or double everyone's savings at the end of the school year. That was the sweetest part of the conversation for Dave. It's one of the reasons he paid attention in class, wrote legibly and learnt to draw - so that he could charge a fee for these abilities when his not-so-diligent classmates came calling. And they always did. Sweet money from them, sweeter money from Mummy, it meant.

Emma's experience was different. Not only did money conversations not take a fun dimension in their own household, they always seemed to cause strife. Now, this wasn't because money was scarce within the family. Rather, the constant bickering was brought on by clashing ideologies.

Emma's Mum believed:

“A man should be inviting me into his abundance, not expecting me to pitch in on every family expense.”

Her Dad, though, acted on this belief:

“As a woman, you must contribute something to the family upkeep, no matter how little. Otherwise, you don't qualify to “eat the fruit of your labour.” I am actually helping you to qualify by slashing your every request for money by an undisclosed percentage. That seems to be the only way to get you to contribute.”

Sadly, neither of Emma's parents revealed, let alone blended their financial convictions into a workable arrangement for their family when they started the marriage journey. This oversight is what led to a lifetime of money strife and, worse still, bequeathing a warped money relationship to their children.

Now, Emma has learnt to inflate prices when preparing a list of family needs for Dave. And Dave has learnt not to trust Emma, having caught her at the act too many times. Dave has thus adopted pretense as the way to go. “In the interest of peace,” he consoles himself when the guilt comes knocking. Emma, he reasons, will only make requests based on what she perceives he can afford. So, he has 40% of his salary hidden away and only declares 60% to Emma - who promptly goes on to make plans for 85% of what's before her.

Unfortunately, Emma's plans are all consumption-based, no investment plans like Dave would've wanted. Well, we all act according to our wiring, don't we? Until a “rewire” is invited into the picture, the wires will continue to produce according to their current programming.

Are you a Dave or an Emma? Do you see the need for “something” to change but don't know where to begin? Might gifting your partner a Money Therapy session procure the deep satisfaction that has eluded you?

Here: selar.com/thinkwithme. It's a first step towards exploring the scripts currently playing out and their long-term effects. When we are done, it will be clear whether to reprogram immediately or in the future (hopefully not).

Reach out, alright?

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

28/04/2026

As Bambo heads home this evening, she's going to devote the entire time to reflections - about the state of her money relationship today.

When she does, she will realize:

- That the Envelope Method of budgeting surprisingly worked very well for her, despite her initial hesitations. “Who pays cash in 2026?” she retorted when she first read of this budgeting method. However, once she had warmed up to the idea, she found that watching the fat envelopes shrink as the month progressed made her subtly discard thoughts of outrageous purchases as they popped in her head. Now, she has leftovers in almost every envelope and the fulfilment she feels is indescribable.

- That this is about the time of the month that Cousin Clara reaches out to request money for one “emergency” or the other. However, because Bambo is in eudaimonia this time, she would be leaning into logic rather than emotions and will check: “Is this really an emergency?” Then, Cousin Clara will know that “that update don cast” and, sadly, restrategize around the next gullible relative instead.

- That the April leftovers don't have to fuel a splurge but can be transferred into an investment account - giving them the opportunity to earn even more money for her. Besides, starting May on a fresh slate removes false comfort, helping Bambo to strengthen the muscles she began to build in April.

- That the money she had been setting aside for investment hadn't yet been invested. Yes, the money had left her traditional bank account promptly every month since January. However, the trauma from previous attempts at investing has left her unwilling to let go completely. Hence, her money had only been earning “minimum wage” in the wallet section of the fintech app she sends her investment money to. It's time to actually push her money (even if only 70% of what she's now accumulated) into a higher-yield investment vehicle.

- That she has not really read any of the finance books recommended in the finance communities she joined. Rather, she has thus far been relying on the book review sessions to “know what the book is about.” Bambo will see that her financial decisions cannot be left to what other people say is wise, otherwise she will put her investments in jeopardy.

What will you be doing on your way home today? What will you immediately do as a result of reading this right now?

Would you like us to plan for the next 6 months together? Or, do you prefer a longer range, say, 5 years? Here: selar.com/planwithme.

Bambo is taking the baby steps she must towards deep fulfilment now and in her later life. You deserve self-actualization, too.

We'll meet up to ten times and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money pains.The Pl...

27/04/2026

Amara has ‘seen’ in this life, mehn…

From the Ebola epidemic in 2016, to the stock market crash in Q4 2018, to the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, to the national cash crunch in 2023…

If only these experiences could somehow be captured on her CV. One person survived all these? Amara deserves her accolades.

Sadly, it’s a double loss for her. Because, not only did Amara not get any flowers for outliving all these experiences, they also took something from her.

You see…

Amara used to be very bold, testing out new ideas, taking on challenges, ever the first-mover on opportunities…she used to be very optimistic. And, oh…the rewards! But, Amara has become overly risk-averse because of these same experiences.

The situation isn’t helped by the fact that between one shock and another, just as she psyches herself up, summoning the courage to make a bold financial move, tragedy strikes - she falls prey to a ponzi scheme. (Don’t worry, we won’t dignify those ones with a mention.)

Hence, that fired-up-today-deflated-tomorrow cycle has left Amara in that state of in-betweenness. She knows what must be done for her desired financial future but can’t find the emotional energy to. Plus, the fact that she knows that her financial future is ultimately her responsibility means that ignorance is no longer bliss. Both her actions in the past and her inaction in the present put unspeakable pressure on her.

Is there an Amara around you? Or, are you her right now? Here’s how to make progress:

- Embrace yourself: Your arrival in the world when you did wasn’t a mistake. You couldn’t have avoided being your age or in your location at the time of these national, regional and international events. These events didn’t single you out, either. They happened to everybody in varying degrees. You didn’t bring them upon yourself.

- Forgive yourself: Even in those instances where the ponzi schemes trumped you, that was still you attempting to do something with what you know. It just so happened that the people you partnered with were insincere. However, we mustn’t lose sight of the fact that you set out to take action where many people don’t. I celebrate you.

- Embrace others: One effective way to shake off the burden you feel is to do the shaking gradually. Resist the urge to just jump into the next opportunity presented to you because “doing something is better than not doing anything at all.” Take your time. Gather the evidence that your mind needs to cast out the fear that’s bound to arise immediately you consider making a new money move.

In very practical terms…

- Follow financial literacy educators on the major social media platforms.

- Join their financial literacy communities.

- Read the books they recommend.

- Appoint one of your friends as your accountability partner on this journey.

- Then gradually begin to make your moves again like you used to.

Should you require a pep-talk in addition to what’s shared above, that’s perfectly okay. Almost everyone prefers to talk to at least one person before making a major move. Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Let’s harness the benefits inherent in these experiences that you’ve already had.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

26/04/2026

Zeta would make a foreign trip every summer, even if the sky were falling. However, it was not for the reasons many thought.

You see…

There was a group of friends who didn't see the need to. “Wetin she dey find upandan?” they would say to each other.

Then there was Friend Group 2 who thought it was okay to make these trips but not every year. “In this same economy or another one?”

The third group should hardly be described as friends. This is because their own sentiments towards Zeta's trips bordered on entitlement: “Since all these years wey I don know Zeta, she never buy anything at all come give me say, “Na wetin I buy for you from abroad be this.””

Needless to mention, this group's disposition stayed at the level of gossip - it never made it to the feedback stage of communication.

Now, let's take a peek into Zeta’s mind:

- Zeta values relationships. She also thinks they should be formed early. So, those foreign trips are to Summer Camps - where her children can bond with the elite from several parts of the world. If her children hang around these other children, their values will all rub off on one another. Additionally, they will be on 1st name bases with each other 25 years down the line - when a few become Presidents or VPs of global organizations.

- Zeta is also a lifelong learner. Thus, when her children are at those Summer Camps for Teenagers, Zeta has an array of conferences to attend - listening, networking, discarding faulty beliefs and growing silently. Little wonder she is able to find the money for these trips from one year to the next.

- Back in the days, Zeta would save up throughout the year, denying herself the pleasures that “Friend” Group 3 as described above indulged in. Then, when she made these trips, she took on the pressure of shopping for gifts for them as well. Soon, she began to rethink the whole sequence of events. That was when she thought: “Why must I buy a gift simply because I got on and off an aeroplane? I wouldn't have bought this gift at this time if I remained at home, would I?”

That was when Zeta’s awakening dawned on her money choices. She was:

- Spending to please despite not meaning to.

- Converting local currency into foreign currency to purchase now-overpriced gifts that will be little-esteemed by the recipients.

So, Zeta changed strategy. She would identify a local business creating gift-worthy items at global standards. Then she would purchase her gifts from this business and distribute them to her friends including those in Group 3 (remember we can't lump them in as friends, yeah?)

Now, guess who had an opinion about those gifts and, this time, made sure she learnt of their opinions?

Aha! You're following. Lol.

“If I want this Ankara bag, I can buy it myself. I don't need anyone to gift me something that's available next door after travelling all the way to Dubai. Abi, where did she and her children go this time, sef?”

So, Zeta chose to be circumspect about the details of her life moving forward. Those who really needed to know will be told the reason behind her trips but no one else.

And no longer would she spend to please - not a colleague, not a friend, not an in-law, not a sibling, no one. The local businesses she had been patronising will still get her money. However, that will now be for people more deserving all-year-round, and only during birthdays and the festive seasons for others less-deserving.

Well, that's where Zeta’s mind is at right now. Maybe she will permit us to peep again if her position changes down the line. Maybe she won't. But, let's turn the spotlight on you now…

What values guide your money decisions? Which of your personal values do you uphold or squash by the way you have been spending your money? Is there something to be applauded? What needs to change?

If you struggle with answering these questions, be sure to reach out here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Let's figure it out together, alright?

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist

03/05/2026

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