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My Mental Health, Port Harcourt (2025)

05/08/2024

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31/01/2024

There are always two opposing sides to every situation you face in life.. the negatives and positives. Most times, the situation is not always the problem but our perception and interpretation.

Always calm down, assess the situation objectively before you act because the solution to the problem may lie within the circumstance

Wishing you a beautiful day ahead

01/01/2024

2023 was tough, rough, tortious and harsh yet we survived it. Congratulations friends for making it to the year 2024.
May this New Dawn raise you and your families to greater heights of achievements and fulfillments.

For the departed souls in 2023, may they continue to rest in the Bossom of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For those who lost their loved ones, or sick, or going through one emotional pain or the other, may the Lord give you peace, strength and all the blessings to move on in the New Year and beyond.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

10/10/2023

Wishing you, my friend, a "soundness of mind"

03/10/2023

AI is creating so much confusion and 'illusional' mindsets. Friends! Be very mindful of your choices from social media to avoid stories that touch the heart 😀😀😂

01/10/2023

Do you know that people assess you rightly or wrongly based on your posts or comments on social media?

Please project a positive image of yourself at all times on social media; and always remember that

HAPPY NEW MONTH Friends

19/08/2023

Hello Friends! Welcome to
Tips to improving your mental health
PASSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Have you ever been in a relation where you literally carried the entire weight while your partner merely follows? You initiated calls, made suggestions, begged for attention, endured excuses, etc. If YES then you were in a passive relationship.
How did you feel while the relationship lasted – hurtful, angry, suspicious, etc.?
 Passivity in a relationship means that one of the parties in the relationship leaves things to the other person. It is a really distorted way of responding to love
 It simply means your partner do not take the lead but is the constant follower.
 Passivity is an enemy of love in any relationship.
 Passivity can be one of the main causes of a breakdown in relationships.
 Passive behaviors can affect any area in the couple’s lives, emotional, economic, work, etc.
 Loving someone who is passive in love means you are already alone. It means having someone who is beside you but effectively absent, someone who does not care about you, support you or commit to you.

Love requires dynamism. Indeed love demands effort, discipline, and time. Therefore, falling in love with someone who takes you for granted and barely pays attention to you, hurts.

Passive lovers harm their partners without even lifting a finger. They hurt them due to their lack of initiative and emotional responses.

Possible causes of passivity in a relationship
- Education, cultural biases, and personal factors: For example, feminism and traditional roles. Some individuals have been used to others nurturing their needs and validating their emotions right from childhood.
- Anxious-passive attachment: Those who often become obsessed with receiving the affection of others passively, without investing in reciprocity. They understand love in a unidirectional way, aimed only at obtaining ’emotional resources’.
- Authoritarian and demanding upbringing: In this instance, the individual has been devalued for so long that, in the end, he/she has decided not to act to avoid any conflict. Due to personal insecurity, they let go and allow their partner to take responsibility for the relationship.
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): People with this disorder often exhibit passive behaviors in emotional relationships. They might frequently forget many things, not finish what they started, and find it difficult to demonstrate their commitment to their partner.
- Poor management of discrepancies and conflicts: Some people with clearly childish attitudes, after series of conflicts or discrepancies in their relationship, might decide to stop acting or accept any responsibility. They may even stop talking to their partner.
- Lack of interest in the relationship: A partner who is no longer interested in the relationship and beginning to withdraw self may become passive.
- Competition and comparison with a third party: When your partner is unfaithful and measures your gestures less than what his/her other partner provides

What can you do if you have a passive partner?

If your partner is really passive, the last thing you should do is make the situation chronic by taking full responsibility. You must act and demand change.
- The first step is communication. Establish an assertive and sincere dialogue to understand what the cause of the passivity is.
- Try to understand your partner’s motive for being in the relationship in the first place (e.g. love, somebody paying for his/her bills, materialistic, etc.).
- Specifically assign some tasks to your partner to take responsibility and assist when necessary with love.
- If the reason for being passive is lack of interest, kindly let him/her go and move on for the sake of your mental stability

Always remember that NO ONE is worth draining your emotional/mental battery. There are millions of potential partners out there who will appreciate and adore your cares.

15/08/2023

Hello Friends! Welcome to
Tips to improving your mental health
ASSESS YOURSELF FOR MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS
Before we begin to assess ourselves for mental health problems, let us ponder on the following realities;

 Do you know that mental health problems are more common than you ever imagined? Yes! According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 in 4 persons has a diagnosable mental health problem; that is, 25% of the world population.
 Majority of people with mental health problems do not know their situation is mental in origin (ignorance, stigmatization, denial are reasons)
 Do you know that 20-40% of patients at health centers, and out-patient departments of general and teaching hospitals are actually there with mental health problems?
 Less than 20% of people with mental health problems seek help from the right sources of treatment
 Do you know that over 60% of those who seek orthodox treatment for mental health problems consider it the last resort? Spiritual and traditional treatments are most often taken as first options
 Do you also know that you have 16-20% chances of developing a mental health disorder in your lifetime? (Lifetime prevalence rate for mental disorders)

While it is always easy to say “God forbid” or “It is not my portion”; especially for the religious ones, the stack reality is that mental health problems are very common.

Nobody knows you more than you know yourself.

How much influence has the economic/financial challenges, or marital/relationship difficulties, or vocational and educational pressures had on you?

The mind’s position in the body is obscure; however, problems affecting the mind are often expressed in bodily experiences or complaints. Therefore, objectively assess yourself for the following;

• Do you feel restless, keyed up, or being on edge?
• Do you have difficulty concentrating, or mind going blank occasionally?
• Are you easily fatigued?
• Are you easily irritated to the slightest stimulation, or changes in the environment, or even at no just cause?
• Do you have difficulty falling asleep and remaining asleep?
• Do you feel palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate; usually described as ‘mind flying’?
• Do you feel trembled or shaky for no just cause?
• Do you experience smothering or shortness of breath with fainting spells?
• Do you often have pulsating frontal or one-sided headaches which are not relieved by rest or mild analgesics?
• Do you feel overwhelming fear of losing control or going crazy?
• Do you experience internal heat which may/may not be accompanied by peppery or prickling sensations?
• How often do you suffer chest pains, backaches, or general body pains?
• Do you have experiences like light-headedness, or heavy-headedness, sharp pain at the center of the head, or sensation of water in the brain?

If your answer to one or more of these questions is YES; especially if there is/are no physical cause(s), you MAY likely be having a mental health problem.

Speak to a mental health professional for advice. Denial won’t help you resolve the underlying conflict. SPEAK OUT

Always remember that "You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you." — Dan Millman

THANK YOU

13/08/2023

JEALOUSY AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Jealousy is a complex emotion that consists of feelings such as suspicion, rage, fear and humiliation. It affects all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. This threat may be real or imagined.
Jealousy could be explained as a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want; OR
A negative emotion in which an individual resents a third party for appearing to take away (or being likely to take away) the affections of a loved one
In terms of relationships, jealous feelings can lead to anxiety due to worry or suspicion. It may cause people to doubt themselves and their partners, leading to insecurity and a lack of trust.

There are three types of jealousy;
 Reactive jealousy is the degree of upset that individuals experience when their mate is actually being emotionally or sexually unfaithful
 Preventive jealousy – sometimes also referred to as possessive jealousy refers to an individual's tendency to prevent contact of their partner with a third person. As an extreme consequence, preventive jealousy may even lead to violence and stalking
 Anxious jealousy refers to a process in which the individual ruminates about the possibility of a mate's infidelity, and experiences feelings of anxiety, suspicion, worry, distrust, and upset
Everyone feels a little jealous once in a while. However, when these feelings of jealousy begin to negatively affect your relationship and cause you stress, then it is probably time to get rid of your jealousy.

Here are tips to deal with your jealousy and reduce its impact on your mental health
- Acknowledge your feelings of jealousy – Admitting that you feel jealous is the first step to fixing the issue.
- Find the root of your jealousy – Sometimes there are deeper underlying issues that fuel jealousy.
- Use your jealousy to motivate yourself – Your jealousy might be just what you need to go after what you want. When you are jealous, it is usually because you have found something you want but do not have.
- Be trusting of your partner or friend – Look to see if there is a cogent reason for you to be jealous
- Talk about it with other people – If you have a lot of pent-up frustration or anxiety caused by jealousy, do not just keep it to yourself.
- Focus on your positive qualities – Find your own unique strengths to combat feelings of jealousy
- Stop comparing yourself to others – Constantly comparing yourself to others can fuel feelings of insecurity. It can be tempting to compare yourself to others and want to compete against them.
- Limit your time on social media – Social media tends to only show the “perfect” parts of someone’s life.
- Spend time pursuing your hobbies – It is harder to be jealous when you genuinely take pride in what you do. Prioritize your interests and goals and invest more of your time and energy into them.
- Build meaningful relationships with others – Do things that make you feel more secure in your relationships.
- Count your blessings – Reminding yourself of the good things leaves little room for jealousy.
- Calm down before acting on your feelings – Take some time to cool off so you won't say anything you'll regret.
- Talk to a therapist if the feelings persist – A therapist can help you work through any underlying issues. Sometimes, jealousy is rooted in things that happened in your early childhood.

In the words of Dr. Gary Chapman, “Jealousy eats away at relationships like acid. It’s corrosive and destructive. It destroys trust and intimacy”

08/08/2023

BUILDING RESILIENCE OR ‘MENTAL TOUGHNESS’
Life is not a bed of roses where everything appears nice and beautiful. In life, everyone will experience twists and turns, from everyday survival challenges to traumatic events with more lasting impact, like family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors, losing a loved one through death, getting involved in a life-altering accident.

Each of these challenges or stressors affects people differently, bringing a unique flood of thoughts, strong emotions and uncertainty.

How do we cope with these upheavals? Thanks to resilience

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. It is the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events.

NOTE: Being resilient does not mean a person does not experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering.

While certain factors might make some individuals more resilient than others, resilience is not necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. On the contrary, resilience involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn and develop.
Below are tips to help you build your resilience
 Connect with empathetic and understanding people who can remind you that you are not alone in the midst of difficulties.
 Join a group – such as civic groups, faith-based communities, or other local organizations that could provide social support and can help you reclaim hope.
 Take care of your body – Promote positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration, and regular exercise
 Practicing mindfulness or meditation or other spiritual practices like prayers can help you build connections and restore hope
 Avoid negative outlets – Do not mask your pain with alcohol, drugs, or other substances. That is like putting a bandage on a deep wound.
 Help others – Helping or supporting others in their own time of need can garner you a sense of purpose, foster self-worth, connect with other people, all of which can empower you to grow in resilience.
 Be proactive – Acknowledge and accept your emotions during hard times. It is also important to help you foster self-discovery by asking yourself, “What can I do about the problem in my life?” If the problems seem too big to tackle, break them down into manageable pieces.
 Move toward your goals – Develop some realistic goals and do something regularly even if it seems like a small accomplishment
 Keep things in perspective – How you think can play a significant part in how you feel and how resilient you are when faced with obstacles. Focus on areas of greater strength
 Accept change – Accept that change is a part of life. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
 Maintain a hopeful outlook – An optimistic outlook empowers you to expect that good things will happen to you. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.
 Learn from your past – By looking back at who or what was helpful in previous times of distress, you may discover how you can respond effectively to new difficult situations. Remind yourself of where you have been able to find strength and ask yourself what you have learned from those experiences.
 Seeking help - Getting professional help when you need it is crucial in building your resilience.

In the words of Robert Jordan, “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”
DO NOT CAVE IN TO STRESSORS MY DEAR FRIEND

06/08/2023

DAY 13 YOUR JOB AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Occupation or vocation is a job or profession you are engaged in; whether alone or as a group, continuously and regularly with the aim of earning a living therein. The benefits of occupation include;
- Relief from boredom
- Provision of avenue for creativity
- Provision of personal economic gains and means of livelihood
- Creates opportunities for socialization
The job you do may also create such negative effects on your health such as; occupational diseases, occupational hazards, and even death. However, the type of risk to be suffered depends on the nature of your job and reducing the attendant risk depends on how you follow precautionary measures akin to the job.
What is the relationship between occupation and mental health?
- Occupational stress could cause you mild subjective symptoms, or even significant mental abnormalities including psychosis
- You may have common symptoms like irritability, decreased job satisfaction, depression, nervousness, and anxiety.
- Long hours, understaffing, a lack of support and harassment in the workplace can increase your stress levels and contribute to anxiety, depression, and substance abuse

Here are tips to reduce occupational stress and improve your mental health
1. Know your values – Consider your passions and interests, and make time for the things that make you feel alive.
2. Practice time management
- Try to set limits on your work time and pre-plan time for other activities
- Calendars, apps and to-do lists are all useful methods for keeping track of how you spend your time.
- Review weekly and see if you can use your time better.
- Prioritize quality time with your family, friends, neighbors and loved ones.
3. Step away from your phone, turn off your work emails or go internet-free for a few hours. You might realize that social media is swallowing chunks of your day.
4. Enjoy your work
- Do what you love and love what you do.
- Most jobs can be tedious or stressful at times, but if you really hate your job or if it is making life impossible it might be time for a change.
- Set up a side-hustle for a few hours a week to try out a new way of making a living.
5. Review your finances
- Buy what is important and of priority.
- Avoid impulse buys because spending less money could mean fewer work hours and more time to yourself.
6. Nurture relationships – Positive relationships and social support help build resilience and lead to more adaptive ways to cope with stress.
7. Focus on your health – Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat healthy food, drink plenty of water and avoid psychoactive substances.
8. Have down time – Take time to rest and recharge. Schedule regular time off for yourself each week to relax, read a book, play sport, spend time in nature or just do nothing. Choose any activity you enjoy
9. Talk to a mental health practitioner if you have mental health concerns.

In the words of Raymond McCauley, “Change what you can, manage what you can’t.” Always remember that “If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk – Robert Baden-Powell

My Mental Health

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