23/04/2024
WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY
Part Three 🔥
What makes me a great counselor is I talk about women fearlessly and comprehensively, leaving no room for doubt and I talk about men (my gender) more fearlessly.
No biased judgment. Only truth and reality backed with scriptures. No personal interest.
Most importantly, I respect and love both gender unconditionally.
If your perspective about women are wrong, you cannot sit in same table with me.
If your perspective about men are wrong, I can't counsel you. I can't help you.
If you are judgmental, we can't be friends.
The truth we haven't told ourselves is, there's no bad relationship or marriage where the victim is completely innocent.
We have one of our girls whose husband is hell to live with and one day, I called my wife, I told her, the Holy Spirit told me, we should be careful how we handle the matter.
As much as everyone knows, this man is abusive and controlling, the truth is, the wife isn't completely innocent.
She's good but not completely innocent.
Listen, you cannot be completely innocent in relationship and marriage matters.
You grow yourself to be innocent by knowing what your spouse want, like and dislike.
You grow your innocency through fellowship with the Word of God, and learning to say 'thank you' and 'I am sorry'.
"Don't say I did everything oh but it didn't work". No, you didn't do everything. In fact, most of the things you did provoke him or her.
This is why it's so important to ask someone what they want and who they are.
Ask these questions before you say, Yes I do.
Don't assume. Ask humbly. Assumption is relationship and marriage destroyer.
Do you know sometime you provoke people by your reaction, silent, gesture and dishonesty.
You can also provoke your spouse by fashion, association and social life.
This is why you should cultivate the attitude of saying, I am sorry to anyone who feel you offended them, most especially your spouse.
I have grown to say I am sorry - whether I am right or wrong. First is to say, you're sorry. Secondly is, listen to the offence.
"Oh dear, I didn't know you were offended" won't remove anything from you. However, it restores peace and calmness.
One of the greatest challenge in relationship and marriage is where someone think he or she is always right.
Saying, I am sorry and listening to your offence have become one of the greatest challenge spouse face in marriage.
This days everyone is right. No one is wrong.
No one want to take correction.
Arrogance and unteachable spirit is a problem with this young generation.
A man or woman who cannot apologize in relationship will be very difficult to deal with in marriage.
Narcissist can't apologize, they will rather twist the story to fit in their narrative.
Most narcissist are good with quoting scriptures and making sure they hang you with a particular verse. The prefer verse of the scriptures, not the whole chapter.
If you listen to a narcissist, you hardly believe he or she is a predator, except you have discerning spirit or put a CCTV on him.
This is why transparency is the key to enjoy your relationship and marriage.
When you're transparent as a lady, a man will effortlessly understand you.
He understands your lifestyle, how you relate with people, and most importantly how to set his rules and regulations with you.
He will also know what he's getting into, who he is marrying and what you are capable of.
If he invites you, and you had s*x with him on the first date and he finally marries you. My dear, expect some mistrust issues in your marriage. It's inevitable.
You know, I teach premarital s*x from the realm of human consequences.
The disrespect, disvalue, disorientation of your emotion, and pullution of your spirit.
This help people to understand it better.
When you talk about premarital s*x from the realm of God consequences, this young generation do not take it seriously because they believe God is merciful.
Majority of men reduce their communication, enthusiasm and value for a lady when they get the first s*x.
S*x shouldn't come first. It should be last.
Defining your relationship, knowing a man's intention and his family background should come first in a relationship. Do not rush.
He shouldn't rush you either. This is subject of your destiny and happiness.
The mistake most ladies make is giving in or give s*x in exchange for something, thinking it's going to keep him.
S*x do not keep a man. Prayer and your good character will keep him.
The truth is, s*x with strangers can feel exhilarating. However, we open ourselves to everything the other is "carrying" within themselves - their possible wounds, unprocessed traumas, pains, guilt, shame, low self-worth and fears. You take that on and they take yours on.
Imagine, you had s*x, and the next day you just started hating yourself and feeling empty.
This is not God tormenting you but the torment is within. It's the consequence and effect of the transmission and transaction.
In choosing who you should marry, you need to understand the importance of discovering yourself, upgrading yourself and understanding of human behaviour and lifestyle.
©kingJCK
