04/10/2024
On this morning 18 years ago, I was 41weeks pregnant with my first baby. I woke up at dawn with the first signs of birth and knew that this long awaited and oh so welcome baby was on his/her way.
The day started on the toilet with the mucus plug coming loose and the first mild cramping in my womb. Full of excitement and wonder I went back to bed and got a few more hours of light sleep to save up energy. At some point in the morning I felt the need to be upright and start preparing the house for the birth. My partner woke up excited and got a wave of nesting urge. As I gently breathed through my slowly growing waves of contractions, he went about preparing the last things around the house, setting up the birthing pool etc. At some point my sister came over and made me a soup.
As the day progressed, I started to dive deeper into the waves as they grew in intensity. I needed all my energy and concentration to get through them.
As I was starting to find it challenging I called my midwife who came by end of the afternoon. She put her hands on my back and belly, reassured me and helped me breathe into the sensations. I asked her to check my progress (there was no pressure from her to do so, just my mind wanting to understand the process). When she told me I was 5 cm dilated I was very happy as I didnât have any expectations and felt like I was well on my way towards this baby coming out.
My midwife and sister left us and I got into the warm birthing pool where for the next few hours I went into a deeper and deeper state of trance as I breathed, moaned and surfed the intense sensations coursing through my body.
I was so tired and needed some solid ground under me to support my heavy body. I felt nauseous and had to vomit. My mind informed me that this was supposed to be a good sign. In the meantime I just flowed from one wave of overwhelming intensity to the next. I felt like I was in a long dark deep tunnel. It was getting tighter and I couldnât see the exit. I felt like I might be dying, breaking in two. But I didnât resist it, just kept breathing , moaning, circling my hips.
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