23/05/2025
After losing two very important people in my life within 5 weeks, people who shaped me into who I am at my core, I find myself unable to share something uplifting and something that would be of value, yet all the pain that I have been through left so much transformation and change in my soul and body that I do want to share about it. I am sick and tired of sharing just how great everything is. How when you think positively, you will experience only positive things. I don't know about it. It is like believing that sunshine is the only thing our earth needs to flourish. It is simply not true. We need negative and positive experiences to grow, evolve, transform, and sometimes be reborn.
Grief has taught me to be more vulnerable, compassionate, and self-validating. Last but not least, it has shown me again that I am capable of much more than I think of myself.
Grieving and taking care of four children who do not always realize what this all means to me has been hard, yet reassuring that everything is possible when I take it one step at a time and when I keep on checking with myself.
The most important lessons I learned during the last months are:
▫️Grief is like the ocean: calm, wild, and unpredictable
◻️Validating feelings is the key; pushing feelings away is the recipe for long-lasting misery
◻️Wanting to be strong is what makes me weaker
◻️Being vulnerable and weak is what gives me strength
◻️Feelings do not need to be conceptualized or understood. Feelings must be felt.
◻️Sticking with 100% healthy food choices in challenging times is stressful and exhausting.
◻️Eating only easy-to-get food results in me feeling poorly
◻️Seeking balance and ease is the key
◻️Sleep and crying are underrated healing modalities
◻️Grieving requires a lot of energy
◻️Each loss opens the door to receiving something valuable - more understanding, new connections, and more compassion towards others and oneself
Many people wished me strength, yet my experience taught me differently. My biggest strength is being able to admit that I am weak and need to be held and supported.
One can not conquer grief with willpower. Grief has to be felt.
