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WARN International provides consultancy and training in managing challenging situations to minimise

10/04/2026

We watched a movie last night about Tourette’s called ‘I Swear.’

It moved me to tears, reflecting on how life can be so challenging for some of us.

We all spend our lives searching for direction, meaning, and something that feels like it's ours.

Some discoveries arrive by accident, some because someone told us, and some appear exactly when we’re ready.

The ones that land hardest seem to be the discoveries we make ourselves.

For me, life has never been about trial and error, although it often felt that way at the time.

It has always been trial and trial. A trial of managing something I never knew I had and trialling new ways of dealing with it.

Nothing is ever truly an error if it teaches me something. And everything teaches me something.

As I’ve aged – yes, I know I shouldn’t be talking about ageing – people sometimes say I am wise.

Yet wisdom doesn’t arrive with birthdays.

Wisdom arrives when you start using what you’ve lived through. Every challenge I’ve faced has brought something new to learn.

Every setback has offered another piece of the puzzle.

Every confusing, painful, uncertain moment has nudged me forward. Even when I didn’t realise it at the time, such as not learning to learn until I was aged 35.

Life, I’ve learned, is not a series of problems to solve. Life is a series of lessons to integrate.

The more I stay curious, the more I try, the more I experiment, the more life reveals what I’m meant to know and when I’m meant to know it.

If you’re feeling stuck, lost, overwhelmed, or behind – maybe you’re not behind at all.

Maybe you’re right on time.

Continue learning and discovering your way. Not someone else’s way.

The most powerful wisdom you will ever hold is the wisdom you earn by living your own life.

Let’s talk!

07/04/2026

I was hit with a double whammy: an accumulation of stressful situations at work, along with numerous leave applications being declined. When leave was granted, I would study. I have never been one to rest.

It was not that I was working too hard, or that I was working long hours, or that I never took time to rest; it was because I had lost all sense of control over my work.

For me, burnout crept in gradually, almost unnoticed. Looking back, the signs were there, but they were easy to miss.

If the signs were obvious, we’d all be better at preventing it.

When I was younger, I would keep busy and by the age of 11 was mowing lawns and delivering newspapers for money. Weekends were filled with work around the home and in the garden.

Hard work provided a sense of solitude, offering a break from my constantly overthinking mind. The feeling of accomplishment, coupled with the praise from others that followed, became a reward in itself.

Fast forward to a police career 24 years later - I was doing the same thing, working hard to progress through the ranks.

Known causes of burnout at work include a heavy workload with long hours, struggling with a work-life balance, a mismatch of values, unfair treatment, and insufficient autonomy, all leaving the person with a feeling of having little or no control.

The first realisation that something was wrong was when I began self-medicating, firstly to get a better night's sleep, and latterly throughout the day. Anything to stop the onslaught of negative self-talk.

It wasn't until a suicidal ideation that I truly knew I needed help urgently. A diagnosis of accumulated stress disorder led to both psychological support and the journey of self-discovery.

The initial diagnosis was emotionally overwhelming, but also brought a sense of relief - knowing that others had faced and overcome a similar challenge.

Regardless of how determined, strong, or powerful we think we might be, there is always a risk of burnout if we do not maintain control over what we do.

Fast forward further to today.

Although I've never worked harder as a business owner, now, the inability to say no is my choice. That's how I'm now able to maintain a sense of control.

Each of us is different, and we must find our own way of managing our workloads.

If you wish to prevent burnout, it's crucial to maintain control of your life in a way that allows balance - on your terms.

How do you maintain balance and a sense of control in your life?

Let's talk!

01/04/2026

We have all heard inspirational stories of people who have gone through extraordinarily tough times to overcome adversity. Many will recount being able to find a new level of strength and determination when they thought they had nothing left to give.

Is it courage, is it 'toughening up', or is it the ability to switch off from reality and focus on something else? It is the latter. People who can work through extreme adversity, to put the pain to one side, to find strength at the depths of despair, are all around us.

Much has been written about the common traits of people who do the seemingly impossible - a powerful inner drive, a tolerance of pain, the ability to visualise a goal, extraordinary self-discipline - and so the list goes on.

We all have the ability to tap into any of these traits. For me, it is one thing: the ability to focus on our hook.

We all have a hook, that one thing that we always think of when times get tough, our sense of purpose, our real strength.

If you focus on your hook – family, faith, fitness, friends, whatever it is for you – when times get tough, you will find the ability to gain unbelievable strength. Focusing on our hook stops our mind from wandering, prevents our inner voice from telling us to give up, and lets us ignore the present pain.

When we focus on our hook, we become energised, driven, and numb to the pain. For our hook is in our heart, and our heart will always overcome what our inner voice is telling us if we truly believe in our hook.

Do not believe your thoughts when times get tough, for they are just that, thoughts. Challenge every thought you have. Is it you, or is it your brain taking the easiest route? Our brain has one purpose: to keep us alive, and it will always tell us to give up. Ignore your voice and hold on to what is in your heart.

Be as patient with yourself as you are with those around you, and hold on to what you love, your hook.

When times get tough, always go with your heart and not your head.

In times of adversity, your heart will always know best.

Let's talk!

30/03/2026

It is not so much about the size or number of mistakes that we make; it is about how we recover from them, how we learn from them, and how we move forward.

With experience (age) brings wisdom, hindsight, and often guilt and regret about our lives. Having been on the 'worry wheel', I know that my brain keeps reminding me of the stupid things that I have said and done in my life.

I know that I could have been better, much better. I could have been whoever I wanted to be if I had set my mind to it early enough.

We learn and grow from things that we have done wrong, or at the very least we try to learn from them.

I still say and do things that I later say to myself, "Why did you say or do that?" What I try to do now is accept it, try and make amends if I can, and move on quickly.

It is said that those who have not made mistakes have not made anything at all. I don't believe this is the case. After all, not making anything is a mistake in itself, isn't it?

If you make a mistake, fix it as soon as you can. If you can't fix it, learn from it. If you can't learn from it, move on regardless. Easy to say but hard to do, nonetheless, it is at least worth trying.

If we don't move on from our mistakes, we harbour guilt and regret, and we know that this will often lead us into dark places.

Let's talk!

26/03/2026

Before you fall asleep tonight 💤💤

25/03/2026

Five years ago, I fell awkwardly and badly injured my shoulder, a double injury to my rotator cuff.

After the fall, my brain kept replaying the moment, sometimes even in dreams.

You might know that loop yourself - Why did this happen? What was I thinking? This is my fault.

When something negative happens, the brain automatically replays it to learn from it. It’s trying to protect us from it happening again.

Helpful in theory, damn uncomfortable in reality.

If the replay goes on too long, it can lead to acute stress and, at the extreme end, post-traumatic stress.

Post-surgery, I underwent physiotherapy. Physio is painful, tiring and necessary.

In my workshops, I always ask, “Who here has had physio?” Almost everyone has.

Then I point out, “So you’ve all had therapy then – physiotherapy.”

Why is mind therapy treated differently?

Physiotherapists get us talking about the injury, then apply pressure to the painful part to help it release and heal.

Psychologists do the same for emotional injuries; they help us release the emotion that’s been stuck.

Emotions must come out!

If we don’t express emotions, they don’t disappear; they build.

Talking helps the brain process the event so it can finally move forward.

I openly talk about the fall, the fear and the emotions that came with it. No hiding. No pretending.

And the flashbacks are easing.

Showing vulnerability also allows others to open up. Healing becomes something shared.

Talking about emotional pain should be as normal as talking about physical pain.

Seeing a counsellor or psychologist is no different from seeing a GP or physio; both help us recover.

Let’s normalise the conversation.

Let’s talk.

23/03/2026

I can't remember my first keynote presentation; it was all a blur. I paced the stage, going through a presentation by simply following the slides. Apparently, it went okay, but I couldn't tell.

I got off stage thinking, “How do people do this for a living?” And then the rush of adrenaline wore off, replaced by dopamine and endorphins, which left me feeling elated.

Having always challenged myself to overcome my fears, I saw it now as a challenge to continue keynote speaking alongside the workshops we were running for businesses.

We know now it is important to overcome our fears, or at least do our best to.

I had a fear of heights, which, ironically, led me to take up skydiving. While it didn’t cure my fear, it was an extreme experience that taught me a lot about myself.

Perhaps it was the near-death experience of hurtling towards earth when all you can think about is pulling the ripcord that brings clarity to every sense.

As a crisis negotiator, undertaking su***de interventions was another fear I had to overcome. How will I start the conversation? How will I keep the conversation going? What if I say the wrong thing?

What if they jump?

Fortunately, no one ever jumped. I again learned a great deal about myself, others, and how to engage in a conversation, no matter how intense it might be.

Keynote speaking hasn’t come naturally to me. Even after years of speaking, I still get butterflies before every keynote.

So why do I keep doing it?

Why do I keep putting myself up on stage under pressure? Why don't I just focus on presenting our workshops in a controlled environment?

It is the challenge to overcome my fears that motivates me.

My largest audience to date for a keynote was over 2000 people, where I was the opening address at a conference. I was told I was the opener just before going onstage. Awesome, that little rush of fear produced an amazing presentation.

These days, I am often asked to open or close a conference, which is truly an honour.

I also love the most difficult time for keynotes, the first speaker after lunch! I refer to that slot as the graveyard shift, as most people are recovering from lunch.

There was a time early on when I decided to stop being a keynote presenter. I viewed the nerves as stress rather than what they should have been – a means to be at my best and overcome the challenge.

As soon as I saw it differently, it became easier. Excitement and anxiety are processed in the same part of the brain and share the same physical symptoms. Perhaps I was simply seeing it wrong.

Whilst I still get nervous before every keynote, it is those nerves that keep me focused, at my best, and provide me with humility.

Stepping out of our comfort zone to overcome our fears is a powerful experience; seeing it differently can be even more powerful.

Let's talk!

19/03/2026

Let your smile change the world 🌏

18/03/2026

"Yet" carries a lot of weight because of its ability to transform a statement from finality to possibility, and from possibility to certainty.

The power of a word depends on its context and how it is used.

"Yet" is incredibly empowering for personal growth and overcoming our challenges.

"Yet" provides us with motivation when we are striving to achieve a goal. It suggests that while something hasn’t happened at this time, it still has the potential to happen.

“Yet” can turn a negative statement into a positive one, filled with optimism and hope. Rather than saying, "I can't get through this," we can add the word "yet" at the end: "I can't get through this, yet."

Adding "yet" to a statement can also shift our mindset from a fixed one to a growth one. It’s a reminder that we’re constantly evolving and that our current state is not our final destination.

The word "yet" is a great tool for keeping conversations positive and forward-looking.

You can use the word “yet” in many situations:
1. Self-improvement:
🧠 "I haven't learned to do this, yet."
🧠 "I can't solve this, yet."
🧠 “I haven’t got out of this rut, yet.”
🧠 "I am not where I want to be yet, but I'm working on it."

2. Encouragement to others:
🧠 "You haven't mastered this skill yet, but you're well on the way."
🧠 "We haven't reached our goal yet, but we're along the path."

3. Future Plans:
🧠 "I haven't been there yet, but it's on my list."
🧠 "I haven’t reached my full potential, yet”

4. Handling Workplace Challenges:
🧠 "I haven't figured out the solution yet, and I will."
🧠 "This project isn't complete; yet we are finding ways forward."

Adding the word "yet" to our vocabulary can truly make a difference in how we perceive our challenges. It turns the impossible into the possible, the unreachable into the reachable, the goal into an ongoing opportunity.

Success is not about what you can achieve right now; it's about the potential you haven't unlocked - yet.

Let’s talk!

16/03/2026

When grief comes, it doesn’t ask permission. We’re often told to stay strong, to hold it together, to be positive.

I believed that for years, until life taught me a deeper lesson: feelings don’t disappear when we ignore them; they just go quiet and go inward.

In my TEDx talk, I shared how suppressing emotions can pile stress onto the body and brain.

It can look like fatigue we can’t shake, irritability we can’t explain, or numbness that creeps into the best parts of our lives.

In grief, I’ve learned from two people I deeply respect: Dr Lucy Hone and Dr Denise Quinlan.

Their work doesn’t offer quick fixes. It offers something better – permission.

Permission to honour your pain and to keep living alongside it.

Denise facilitated my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing; her presence modelled compassion in action.

I have admired Lucy’s work for many years, which I try to emulate – practical, kind and real.

There is no right way to grieve, only your way.

Some people speak. Some write. Some move, garden, pray, surf, build, sit quietly, or cry loudly.

The point isn’t to perform resilience; the point is to practice it.

As a family, we have been through tremendous grief, as have we all.

Sharing emotions hasn’t made the grief vanish. It has made room for love to keep breathing.

If you’re reading this in the thick of it, here’s what I hope you hear today:
❤️‍🩹 Your way of grieving is valid.
❤️‍🩹 You can let your feelings out slowly.
❤️‍🩹 You don’t have to be okay to be loved.
❤️‍🩹 Help is a strength, not a verdict.

If you have the capacity, check in on someone quietly carrying a heavy load. Not with solutions, just with presence. Ask one kind question and stay for the answer.

Thank you, Dr Lucy Hone and Dr Denise Quinlan, for your practical, compassionate wisdom.

And to anyone navigating loss, we are with you.

Let’s talk!

12/03/2026

You only need to be acccepted by yourself 🙏

11/03/2026

At school, I ridiculed people I knew were hurting.
As a teenager, I pushed away friends who got too close to me.
As an adult, I used alcohol as an excuse for erratic, irresponsible behaviour.

How many of us have looked back and wondered - why did I behave that way, why didn’t I care more, why didn’t I show compassion when it mattered most?

If I could go back, I’d choose to be kinder. To listen. To care. To help.

It all comes down to one word: empathy.

Empathy is what makes us human. It’s the bridge between ‘me’ and ‘you.’

It’s what turns judgment into understanding, distance into connection, and pain into healing.

Neuroscience tells us empathy is both wired into our brains and shaped by experience.

Deep inside, we have mirror neurons - tiny circuits that fire when we see someone else in pain, allowing us to feel a shadow of their experience.

Yet empathy isn’t automatic. It grows when we slow down, notice and choose to care. We must consciously activate it.

As children, we learn it from those around us. As adults, life humbles us as our own struggles teach us why compassion matters.

Empathy is a strength. The strength to feel someone else’s hurt without turning away.

I don’t always get it right, but I keep trying. For those I hurt. For those who hurt me. And for myself, because self-compassion is where empathy begins.

I wonder if you have ever looked back and wished you’d acted with more empathy. Or is it just me?!

Let’s talk!

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Our Story

With 22 years policing experience at the highest level, Lance has expertise in responding to emergencies and communicating in challenging situations. Lance specialised in su***de intervention and on predicting violent behaviour in his 13 years as a crisis negotiator and instructor for the NZ Police.

While working at the 111 Emergency call centre, Lance's resiliency programme was adopted nationally and formed part of the mandatory training for all Police call centre staff. This led to the founding of WARN International, aimed to enable organisations to mitigate the effects of stress on their employees by enhancing communication skills, managing their safety & security, and by providing personal resilience coaching.