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WARN International provides consultancy and training in managing challenging situations to minimise

01/09/2025

A lot of the stress that we face at work involves difficult communication in some form or another.

Whether it is communicating with challenging customers, handling difficult colleagues, running meetings, or presenting to a large audience, these things all involve communicating.

To have good communication skills, you not only need reasonable grammatical knowledge and confidence, but you also need to control your emotions during these conversations.

To control your emotions, you need to control your thoughts. That is what I learned to do effectively and efficiently as a crisis negotiator. Controlling my thoughts, which controlled my emotions, so that I could quickly and successfully engage with a person in crisis.

Here are a few quick communication tips that may work for you:

👉 Don't say the first thing that comes into your head when emotional because it will always be wrong.
👉 Take a long, slow, deep, quiet breath to control your adrenaline before meetings and during difficult encounters. Breathing out slowly will also reduce your heart rate.
👉 Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Slow things down so that you remain calm and in control.
👉 Address difficult messages early in conversations. Avoid using the 'praise sandwich' approach, as it can lead to confusion and dilute the impact of important feedback.
👉 Refrain from sending emails when you are emotional. Walk away, grab a glass of water or go for a walk and come back to it when you are feeling calm.
👉 Be quick to apologise if you made an error of judgment in something that you have said or sent.

Let's talk!

29/08/2025

Jumped to conclusions. Formed opinions. All based on fragments of information. We’ve all done it.

A diagnosis.
A headline.
A moment of conflict.

But what if we paused? What if we asked more questions? What if we waited for all the facts?

I’ve seen people judged for their actions without anyone knowing the pain behind them.

I’ve felt the sting of being misunderstood, and the relief when someone took the time to truly listen.

Whether it’s a personal struggle, a workplace challenge, or something we see in the media – we owe it to ourselves and to others to seek understanding before judgment.

Pause.
Ask.
Listen.
Learn.

Because compassion begins where assumptions end.

And wisdom starts with knowing we don’t know everything.

Lets’ talk!

27/08/2025

After 7 years from when I first started, I’ve finally completed my Diploma in Positive Psychology and Well-being (DPP).

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.

Not because of the content, but because it required me to look inward, to learn about myself, and to apply what I was learning in real time.

I left high school with no qualifications. Learning was hard for me. I didn’t understand the language, the structure, or the systems.

It wasn’t until I was 35 that I discovered how to learn. And it opened a whole new world, the world of understanding.

Since then, I’ve earned a Diploma in Policing, a Graduate Diploma in Business Studies, and a Master of Arts in Terrorism, Safety, and Security.

Each step was a struggle, but also a triumph. I still find academic language difficult.

Registering for university as an adult took me two weeks; I needed every step explained.

This latest diploma was different. It wasn’t just about knowledge – it was about implementation.

I had to apply the techniques to myself before I could use them with others. That meant facing discomfort, fear, and vulnerability. But it also meant growth, insight, and transformation.

I was recently accused of becoming “an academic” and forgetting my roots. I’ll take that any day over the ignorance I once lived with.

During the induction week for the DPP, I spoke with the wonderful Dr. Denise Quinlan about the possibility of doing a PhD.

She asked me a powerful question: Who are you doing this for – yourself or others? I paused.

I realised that all my previous studies had been for me. But this next step? It was to prove a point. Maybe even to show off.

So, I won’t be doing a PhD.

Instead, I’ll write one final book, this one on essential communication skills for every challenging situation.

It will be my last personal academic achievement, and I hope it will help as many people as possible.

So, what have I learned?

You don’t have to be an academic to become one.
You don’t have to be perfect to make progress.
And if you apply yourself, you can achieve amazing things.

To anyone who struggles to learn, I see you.

Let’s talk!

22/08/2025

Something on your mind? 👉 Talk, read, write.

20/08/2025

Do We Try Too Hard?

It’s something I’ve been reflecting on – not just for myself, but for many of us.

Whether we’re at work, supporting family, helping others, or simply trying to be a good friend, we often give everything our best.

And when it’s not quite right, we push even harder. But trying too hard can come with a cost.

We start to overthink, feel lost in the details, and sometimes get stuck in self-doubt.

The harder we push, the more disconnected we can feel – from others, and from ourselves.

Neuroscience shows that this kind of chronic striving activates the brain’s threat response, increasing stress and narrowing our focus.

In contrast, when we shift into a state of calm engagement, we access the parts of the brain responsible for empathy, insight, and wise decision-making.

Maybe the answer isn’t always to try harder, but to trust more, and be more present.

Because sometimes, our best work and our deepest connections come when we stop forcing and start flowing.

Trying too hard is overwhelming and debilitating. However, trying to be our best is fulfilling and motivational.

Let’s talk!

17/08/2025

I’ve noticed it. You’ve probably felt it.

People seem angrier than ever before. Road rage, online rants, short fuses, simmering frustration and emotional outbursts that feel out of character.

So, what happened?

The answer, in part, lies in the 2020 lockdowns:
🔒 We were isolated.
🧠 Our brains were flooded with stress hormones.
💔 We lost connection, control, and certainty.

According to recent neuroscience, the amygdala, our brain’s threat detector, was on high alert for months.

The prefrontal cortex, which helps us regulate emotions, was overwhelmed. And the brain stem, our hard-wired survival centre, took over. We were wired for threat.

And when that wiring stays active for too long, it changes us.

We become more reactive, less patient and more prone to anger.

But here’s the good news:
🧠 The brain is plastic - it can change and adapt.
💬 Emotions can be unlearned.
🤝 Connection can heal.

If you are feeling more irritable than usual, know that you’re not alone and you are not broken.

You are responding to an extraordinary time in history.

Let’s talk!

14/08/2025

Why is it important to be kind?

13/08/2025

"Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?"

Powerful lyrics in the song One More Light by Linkin Park.

When we are in pain, it can feel like our light is fading. Like no one notices and no one cares.

We convince ourselves that our struggles are too heavy, too personal, too much for others to carry.

The disconnection becomes a wall - thick, silent, and dark.

In our work, we have seen how powerful it is when someone finds the courage to speak. To let someone in and say, “I’m not doing so well.”

Because there are people who care, and people who will sit with you in the dark.

People who won’t try to fix you, they simply want to be there for you.

It starts with a conversation. And in that moment of connection, the healing begins.

So, if you are hurting, please know that:
❤️‍🩹 You are not invisible.
❤️‍🩹 You are not a burden.
❤️‍🩹 You are not alone.

Who cares? We all do. You just have to let people in.

It will take a bit of courage, yet you have already shown courage by working through your pain - so you know courage well.

One step, one short sentence, one massive leap for your recovery.

There is a reason we always end our posts with two simple words – because it works.

Let’s talk!

11/08/2025

Some people just like to argue, regardless of what you tell them.

There are several ways to manage this type of person. The best way I have found is to make it all about them, more than you would with others. Use sentences like "You make a great point" or "I can see where you are coming from."

The difficulty arises when you can't actually help them. For example, company policy means you can't do what the customer is asking of you.

Honesty is the best policy but with an explanation as to why. I call it 'the reason for the reason'.

Policies are developed for two reasons;
- To protect the company
- To protect the customer

Often we will say, "I'm sorry but I can't do what you are asking because it is our company policy". You know what the customer hears when we say this - "We have rules for situations like this and I can't change them".

Try explaining to the customer why the policies are in place, to protect them.

Something like, "Lance, I apologise that I cannot do any more for you. We value our customers and have policies in place which are designed to protect everyone".

Finish off the conversation by giving the customer something that they can take away, it need not be tangible although this would be more helpful. It could be as simple as “What I am going to do is to mention your situation to my supervisor as you raise a valid point”.

Always do what you say you are going to and don’t over-promise. Under-promise and over-deliver.

The bottom line, sometimes people will need a reality check!

Let's talk!

08/08/2025

Keep moving forward, but don't forget to look back to see how far you have come ❤️‍🩹

06/08/2025

Majoritarianism is the idea that the majority rules, but what happens to those left behind?

It can leave us with feelings of isolation, invisibility, frustration, resentment, and thus a lack of motivation.

Growing up with challenges in learning, no meaningful friendships and poor socialisation skills, I retain a small insight to how that can feel.

I often believed I didn’t belong!

I know I'm not the only one; many of us have felt that way for a variety of reasons.

Belonging happens when we feel truly seen, when we're accepted as we are, and not when we’re trying to match the expectations around us.

We live in a world that often celebrates the loudest, the strongest, the most popular.

But real strength lies in listening to the quiet voices, and the ones who have experienced adversity.

If you’ve ever felt like the minority – whether in thought, background, or belief - know this: your perspective matters.

A strong culture is one where every voice is heard and valued. That's when we all win.

Have you ever felt like the odd one out? What helped you find your place?

Let’s talk!

04/08/2025

We often hear that adversity builds character.

That may be so, yet why must lessons be so difficult to remember - we seem to repeat them.

And why is it that we must endure pain, loss, and struggle to truly develop?

It’s uncomfortable to admit, but growth rarely comes from comfort.

Our brain does not want to remember the comfortable because that is safe; it wants to remember the uncomfortable to keep us safe from harm

Growth comes from being stretched, challenged, and sometimes broken.

I’ve seen it in crisis negotiations, in trauma recovery and in my own life working through depression.

The most profound transformation often commences in the darkest of places.

Lessons are not learned in our darkest moments; it is the start of our transformation.

When everything familiar falls away, we’re forced to confront who we really are. And that hurts!

Pain teaches empathy. Loss teaches gratitude. Struggle teaches resilience - how to cope with adversity.

However, I don’t believe tough times are meant to be. I don’t believe suffering is necessary; I believe it’s simply part of being human.

Yet when we do go through adversity, we tend to come out knowing.

Knowing what it was like, knowing the effort it took to get us through, knowing we are stronger than we thought we were.

Importantly, we now know how to avoid those situations again or manage them differently should we face them.

We can choose to let adversity harden us, or we can let it shape us into something stronger, wiser and more empathetic.

So, if you’re going through a tough time right now, know this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

What’s one challenge that changed you for the better?

Let’s talk!

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http://www.warninternational.com/

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Our Story

With 22 years policing experience at the highest level, Lance has expertise in responding to emergencies and communicating in challenging situations. Lance specialised in su***de intervention and on predicting violent behaviour in his 13 years as a crisis negotiator and instructor for the NZ Police.

While working at the 111 Emergency call centre, Lance's resiliency programme was adopted nationally and formed part of the mandatory training for all Police call centre staff. This led to the founding of WARN International, aimed to enable organisations to mitigate the effects of stress on their employees by enhancing communication skills, managing their safety & security, and by providing personal resilience coaching.