01/01/2026
My partner has ADHD.
He was diagnosed as a child and he sits on the ADHD Panel NZ.
And still, I hear it āADHD is just an excuse.ā
āEveryone has it these days.ā
āSocial media made people think they have ADHD."
From where I stand that couldnāt be further from the truth.
I live with it every day. I see it. I pick up on it.
I notice when his brain is overloaded before his mouth is.
I notice when stress is high and the filter drops.
I notice when things come out sideways jokes, noises, comments not because heās trying to offend, but because his brain fires faster than the pause most people take for granted.
And when heās under pressure especially ongoing stress his ADHD doesnāt magically calm down.
It ramps up.
Thatās not an excuse.
Thatās neurology meeting stress.
How I deal with it isnāt by shaming him or constantly calling him out. That just adds more pressure to a nervous system already running hot.
Instead, I pull things back to private,
Iāve learned that correcting someone with ADHD over and over doesnāt teach regulation it teaches shame. And shame only makes symptoms louder.
ADHD isnāt something people suddenly āall have now.ā
People are just finally understanding it, talking about it, and giving words to whatās always existed.
Itās not an excuse.
Itās an explanation.
And for me, loving someone with ADHD means learning his patterns, reading the room for him when heās overwhelmed, and choosing understanding over judgement, not because he needs rescuing, but because weāre a team.
This is what ADHD looks like in real life.
Hes about to take the adult journey of becoming medicated for it, its going to be a big year of growth, so if thats something your interested in seeing..stay tuned and welcome to our journey š©·
