14/05/2026
I just wanted to make this post to let friends, family, and followers know a bit more about me, about my past, about who I was and who I am now. This will not be written by AI. I'm typing it myself.
As a child, I came to the attention of CYFs (Child, Youth, and Family) at the age of 10. I was showing anti-social behaviors in school, and was engaging in violence with siblings and parents. Eventually it got to a stage where lives were being threatened (by my own doing), and due to this, I started a process where I didn't have the chance to have a normal growth during teenage years.
As a result of roughly 3 years of violence, running away from school and a family home in Oamaru, and growing hate to the NZ Police, I eventually went to a boarding school in Auckland. For 6 months, I was abused, neglected, and emotionally tortured (I currently have a potential lawyer wanting to represent my case against MoE).
After refusal to return to that school, via a police es**rt, I then went to a disability trust in Dunedin, where I was subjected to, in my eyes, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, bordering on torture, for 2 years.
Due to the abuse, I was narcissistic to everyone, abused everyone, I was racist, homophobic, transphobic, every sort of -ism you can think of. I fought police, I antagonized them, and I have had multiple encounters with guns drawn on me, dog squads deployed after me, tasers drawn on me, and pepper spray nearly deployed.
I was very evil. I had no respect. I had no control. I was becoming a danger to public safety, and consequently, after an attempt to threaten the life of a police officer, I was sent to Rotorua's Youth Prison, where I caused a riot, and also was sexually taunted by other offenders. I asked for 24/7 isolation which got approved to an extent, but was deemed as borderline torture and a formal apology was done by the government to me a couple years ago.
After this, I went through various other placements across New Zealand from mental institutions to care and protection residences.
I experienced police neglect at times, which I never cared about, but it did fuel my dislike for them further.
In January 2020, I then ended up in prison for 5 months. 22/7 days a week in a cell no bigger than a bathroom. No pillows, no sheets, no proper blanket. Very limited food. I lost weight. Violent offenders didn't want to be in the unit more than a couple days, I had no choice due to my age. Isolation changed me, for better and for worse. The judge was appalled at me being in prison for the length I was in it for.
Eventually, I was released, and rather quickly that anger dissipated, and in 2023 turned to a constant state of anxiety. Once thought of as a sociopath, I ended up becoming an isolated hermit who was anxious at every single thing.
I changed for the better, but have to live with severe, debilitating anxiety.
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I don't say all this to frighten others. My past was horrible. I was a very twisted person, the majority of people I met were on edge around me.
I am able to advocate because of this past. Because of the experiences I went through, which were far more in-depth than described above. I advocate so others don't have to live through what I lived through.
A lot of the time I do question my life, I do ponder it, in a way to which is living life given the experiences I've had lead to a quality of life experience for the future.
I often tell people I mentally feel like I'm in my 70s. I feel like I've lived life. It's an odd thing to feel, but it's a reality.
Plagued with nightmares as a result of these experiences is just an unfortunate reality as well.
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I thank each and everyone of my friends, family, and supporters for being supportive. I understand if you'd prefer to unfriend/unfollow me after this, but I genuinely do appreciate those who stay and even those who go.
Life has not been easy, and it still isn't, but I have drastically altered my life to a life where I'm not imprisoned or yet deceased.
Thank you for reading.
