Grief Room

27/03/2026

Oof. This hit. Caring and advocacy often pair up. Sometimes I feel that needing to be a staunch advocate has turned me into someone I didn't choose to be. Thoughts...?

Grief doesn’t always look like sadness.

Sometimes it looks like irritability.
Like needing control.
Like shutting down when things feel like too much.

And when no one sees the grief underneath it,
it gets mislabeled.

As personality.
As attitude.
As “just who you are.”

But unacknowledged grief doesn’t disappear.
It becomes part of you.

And caregivers carry a lot of it quietly.

If this resonates, you’re not alone in it.

♡ Save this for when you need the reminder
♡ Share with someone who might feel this too

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28/12/2025

Oh god 🤣 Lisa K 😍. No one says it better.

PSA: Don’t be a grief thief.

There is no grief Olympics, and you’re never being helpful when you try to persuade a griever to think or feel differently than their own lived experience.

5 Signs you’re being a grief thief:

1. You start a sentence with “at least...” when you’re talking to a griever

2. You interrupt their story with “I know exactly what you mean...”

3. You suggest in any way they should be “over it by now”

4. You quickly change the subject when they talk about their person

5. You reply to their story with “they wouldn’t want you to feel that way”

Don’t be a fu***ng grief thief.

PS: sometimes we’re the grief thief to our own grief so we need to cut it out too!

22/12/2025

Rolling out this PSA once again. It may help keep you sane if you're thrown together with all those rellies with whom you wouldn't normally choose to hang 😬. I will add to it: you owe no one your story on demand. Big love x

22/12/2025

This season is tough for everyone experiencing dissonance with the shouty, jolly, commercial, families-in- perfect-harmony-around-the-bbq ads, myths, lies and legends.
Below is a good honest roundup of the sheer trickery/f**kery of the festive season for the broken or slowly healing heart. I hope you can do and be whatever you need to get by. I wish for you the courage to 'nope' what may bring more pain and say a hearty yes to those who offer shelter, comfort and understanding. Big love x

14/12/2025

Dear people of Bondi, Sydney and all Australia. Our hearts break with you and for you. 💔❤️‍🩹🫂

14/12/2025

Hello my loves. I've been quiet. It's been sh*tty. I've been earning my grief stripes all over again. Meantime, here we are again at this tricky time of year. You always think you can train for it - like a marathon 😬. You know. Week One: smile, grit, think 'nope not this year'. Strong start! Week two: practice replying ' just a quiet one this year' ( cheery smile). Keep your pace slow. Week Three. The real test: the live action noping of invitations. If you've been following the programme, you'll thank, smile and nope without explanation. (No crying, explaining that a MERRY event/dinner/drinks will suck every bit of limited capacity you have and you'll have to go back to bed until February). But loves, if that does slip out, it's ok. Your training is not wasted. Perhaps it's just a sign of rest and stretch week ...towards a quiet glass (3 is quite normal) on your own, with netflix or a book.
More Christmas training tips to come. Xx

22/09/2025

19/09/2025

I stole this from a dementia site because I think most caregiving is the same. Show this to any friends who say any of the following:
- Are you looking after yourself? (What have you done for you today)
- We don't see you any more! (at lunch, tennis, pilates)
- It's such a shame you quit your job! You love your work!
- Are you painting (potting, sculpting?

🙄🤐😣🤣

15/09/2025

I've posted this on my story today but I feel a ni**le. It says this is 'our' work, letting us be seen and known for who we are. I feel it's also 'our work' to create places where others can be safely seen and known for who THEY are. Create accepting spaces. Help others be heard and known. Right Carl?

12/09/2025

This feels validating for we grief therapists. But is there anything we're missing/could do better?

💛What do most bereaved people want from another person?
- A witness to their pain and grief
- Escape from people who inflict cheeriness
- Support, time, space
- An outsider to accompany then through grief
- Validation of their feelings
- Reflection on their coping and solutions

Thanks to Chris Hall from Grief Australia for sharing this at the Oceanic Palliative Care Conference today – insightful, practical, and kind.

It’s a timely reminder, especially with R U OK? Day – many people want to check in on someone who’s grieving but aren’t always sure how. This might help bridge that gap.

Palliative Care Australia R U OK?

05/09/2025

Nervously waiting for my last Dying Matters Event 'How to help the grieving'. This popped up from the wonderful 'What's Your Grief'. It's perfect.

05/09/2025

The last of Dying Matters week 2025. If you've holding on to a question, bring it to us this weekend x