18/04/2025
A fantastic summary of a book I always recommend to clients …
I was sitting in my therapist’s office, fidgeting with the frayed edge of my sleeve, trying to explain why I couldn’t “just get over” the things that had happened to me. My body remembered what my mind wanted to forget—the way my chest tightened in crowded rooms, how I’d flinch at sudden noises, the nightmares that left me gasping at 3 AM. My therapist leaned forward and slid a worn copy of The Body Keeps the Score across the coffee table. The title alone made my hands shake.
By the time I finished reading, I wasn’t just understanding my trauma—I was finally believing it.
1. Trauma Isn’t Just in Your Head—It’s in Your Cells
Van der Kolk’s groundbreaking research shows that trauma rewires your entire nervous system. It’s not “all in your mind”—your body remembers the raised voices, the abandonment, the violation, even if you’ve tried to bury it. I’d spent years blaming myself for overreacting until I read: “Trauma survivors are not suffering from a disease—they are suffering from an injury.” For the first time, I saw my panic attacks not as weakness, but as my body’s desperate attempt to protect me.
2. The Freeze Response Isn’t Failure—It’s Survival
I always hated myself for “shutting down” during conflict, for going numb instead of fighting back. But van der Kolk explains: “When fight or flight isn’t possible, freezing is the brain’s last resort.” My body wasn’t betraying me—it was doing its best to survive. That reframe alone lifted a decade of shame.
3. Talk Therapy Isn’t Enough (And That’s Okay)
The book’s most liberating revelation? “Trauma lives in the nonverbal parts of the brain. You can’t think your way out of it.” Traditional talk therapy had left me frustrated—I could analyze my pain, but I couldn’t heal it. Van der Kolk introduced me to somatic therapies:
- Yoga: Reconnecting with my body without dissociation
- EMDR: Reprocessing memories so they lose their emotional charge
- Neurofeedback: Retraining my brain’s fear responses
For the first time, I felt shifts in my body, not just my thoughts.
4. Healing Requires Reclaiming Your Body
Trauma had turned my body into an enemy—a source of pain, fear, and betrayal. Van der Kolk’s prescription? “To feel safe, you must learn to inhabit yourself again.” I started small:
- Taking warm baths to relearn touch as safe
- Dancing alone in my room to reconnect with joy in movement
- Weighted blankets to soothe my hypervigilance
Slowly, my body became a home instead of a battleground.
5. The Best Predictor of Healing? Community.
The most surprising chapter: Trauma isolates, but connection heals. Van der Kolk’s research on group therapy, theater programs, and even choir singing proved that “being felt by others is the antidote to trauma.” I joined a survivors’ writing group. The first time I read my story aloud and saw nods of recognition, I realized: “I’m not broken. I’m not alone.”
BOOK: https://amzn.to/4luJlCu
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