Jan Dalawampu - Psychologist

Jan Dalawampu - Psychologist Compassionate care through life's challenges and transitions.

Para sa mga nagmahal nang walang titulo.Hindi ka laging tinatawag na "Nanay" pero nandoon ka. Nag-alaga. Nagtiis. Tumayo...
09/05/2026

Para sa mga nagmahal nang walang titulo.

Hindi ka laging tinatawag na "Nanay" pero nandoon ka. Nag-alaga. Nagtiis. Tumayo para sa iba kahit pagod ka na.

Nakikita ka namin.
Mahalaga ka.

Maligayang Araw ng mga Ina sa lahat ng nagmamahal, anuman ang tawag sa iyo.

I-share ito para sa tita, lola, ate, o tatay sa iyong buhay na karapat-dapat marinig ito ngayong araw.

There's a kind of mothering that happens without the title.The tita who showed up when things fell apart. The lola who a...
08/05/2026

There's a kind of mothering that happens without the title.

The tita who showed up when things fell apart. The lola who always had time to listen. The ate who quietly became the one everyone leaned on. The tatay who learned to hold space even when no one taught him how.

Psychology calls it emotional labor; the invisible work of managing feelings so the people around you feel safe, loved, and okay. Research shows it can be just as exhausting as any physical work. And in Filipino families, this work rarely gets named.

This Mother's Day, we're naming it.

If you do this work, this carousel is for you. Swipe through for the psychology behind it, and a simple daily check-in you can start today.

Save this. Share it with someone who needs to see it.

Have you ever bought something you didn't plan to, right after a really hard day?There's a reason for that and it has no...
09/04/2026

Have you ever bought something you didn't plan to, right after a really hard day?

There's a reason for that and it has nothing to do with your willpower.

When we're in pain, whether physical or emotional, our brain's decision-making center gets overwhelmed. The part that says "wait, do I actually need this?" goes offline. What takes over is the part that just wants relief. Now. Fast. Whatever works.

And for a lot of us, that means opening Shopee or Lazada.

The relief is real. But it lasts about three minutes. Then the original pain is still there, and now there's guilt on top of it.

I put together a carousel breaking this down, from the brain science, to the signs this is happening to you, to what you can actually try instead.

Swipe through, read slowly, and if something lands, save it for later.

What do you reach for when you're hurting? Share in the comments. I read every single one. 💬



Women's Month is almost over. But the work: listening better, showing up more consistently, unlearning the things we we...
28/03/2026

Women's Month is almost over.

But the work: listening better, showing up more consistently, unlearning the things we were taught about what a "real man" looks like, that doesn't end on March 31.

It's not about being perfect. It's about being honest with yourself and choosing differently, one day at a time.

To every man who read the carousel, sat with the questions, or had one uncomfortable conversation this month, that matters.

Keep going.

What's one thing you're taking with you from this month?

You reached out. I showed up.And I'll keep showing up.Ready to take that step? Scan the QR code to book a session. ...
27/03/2026

You reached out. I showed up.
And I'll keep showing up.

Ready to take that step? Scan the QR code to book a session.

1 in 6 Filipino women.That's not a statistic from somewhere else. That's here. That's someone we know.And the research a...
17/03/2026

1 in 6 Filipino women.
That's not a statistic from somewhere else. That's here. That's someone we know.
And the research also tells us this: the men in a woman's life, how we communicate, how we respond, how we show up, directly affect her mental health and sense of safety.
We have more influence than we think. The question is what we do with it.

📌 Saved the carousel from earlier this month? Now's a good time to revisit it.

There's a difference between waiting for your turn to talk and actually listening.Most of us were never taught the secon...
11/03/2026

There's a difference between waiting for your turn to talk and actually listening.
Most of us were never taught the second one.
This Women's Month, one small shift: before you respond, ask her first, "Do you need me to just listen, or do you want my thoughts?"
That one question changes everything.

Try it this week. Tell me how it goes in the comments.

As a psychologist and as a man, I think Women's Month is also a good time for us to pause and reflect.Not to feel guilty...
05/03/2026

As a psychologist and as a man, I think Women's Month is also a good time for us to pause and reflect.
Not to feel guilty. But to be honest with ourselves.
The research is clear: the everyday choices men make, how we communicate, how we handle conflict, how we show up at home and at work, directly affect the mental health of the women around us.
I made this carousel for the men in my feed. Swipe through, sit with the questions, and if one slide hits close to home, that's probably where the growth is.
Tag a guy who's open to this kind of reflection.

Based on data from the Philippine Commission on Women and research on Filipino men and mental health.

Based on data from the Philippine Commission on Women and research on Filipino men and mental health.

Now that Valentine's Day is over, let's talk about what actually matters: understanding how you love.Maybe you're the on...
15/02/2026

Now that Valentine's Day is over, let's talk about what actually matters: understanding how you love.

Maybe you're the one who needs constant reassurance. Or the one who pulls away when things get too close. Or the one who wants intimacy but panics when you get it.

That's not random. That's your attachment style, and it was shaped by your earliest experiences with love and care.

The truth is: the way you show up in relationships isn't random. Whether your Valentine's Day was perfect, disappointing, or you didn't celebrate at all, how you felt about it says something about your attachment patterns.

The good news? You're not stuck. Attachment can shift. You can grow toward security, which means learning that you're worthy of love, that vulnerability is safe, and that closeness won't destroy you.

Partnering with The Femme Psychologist again for the month of love to bring you this. Swipe through to understand your attachment style and how to move toward healthier love.

Which one are you? Drop an emoji:
💚 Anxious
🤍 Avoidant
💛 Fearful Avoidant
💙 Secure (or working toward it)

Want to work through your attachment patterns with professional support? Both Aire and I are taking new clients this February. Book a session through the links in our bios or DM either of us.

Quick question: What's the relationship pattern you keep repeating?Teaming up with The Femme Psychologist to share somet...
04/02/2026

Quick question: What's the relationship pattern you keep repeating?

Teaming up with The Femme Psychologist to share something about relationship styles, and honestly, so many people are seeing themselves in it.

Here's the thing: most of us were never actually TAUGHT how to love. We learned from movies, love songs, and just figuring it out as we go. So we end up repeating the same patterns, chasing people who don't want us, staying in relationships that look good but feel empty, or constantly worrying why they haven't texted back.

Psychologist Erich Fromm said decades ago: love is a skill, not just a feeling. Which means you can actually learn it.

In this post, we break down:
✨ The 4 foundations of healthy love (and how to build them)
✨ 4 unhealthy relationship patterns you need to recognize
✨ How to tell if it's love or just fear of being alone
✨ A reflection exercise to help you understand your patterns

Perfect timing for the month of love, right? But real talk, this isn't just for people in relationships. This is for anyone who wants to understand why they keep choosing the same type of person, or why their relationships feel draining instead of fulfilling.

Tell us: which pattern have you been stuck in?

Drop your thoughts below. Let's normalize talking about this. 💚

P.S. Both of us are taking new clients this February if you want professional support working through these patterns. DM either of us or check our profiles for booking info.

You survived your first week back to work/school in 2026.Maybe you didn't crush it. Maybe you barely made it through. Ma...
09/01/2026

You survived your first week back to work/school in 2026.

Maybe you didn't crush it. Maybe you barely made it through. Maybe you're counting the hours until you can collapse.

That's okay.

This first week of the new year asked a lot of you. Your body and brain were adjusting to a complete rhythm change after the holidays, while everyone expected you to perform at 100%.

The first week back is always the hardest. You're not weak for struggling with it.

Give yourself credit for showing up, even when it was hard.

The weekend is here. Rest without guilt. You've earned it.

If this first week revealed something about your routine that needs addressing, I'm here to help you figure that out. Link in bio or DM.

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