21/02/2025
YOU ARE LOVED
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My OCD made me do a good turn daily and achieve great things. I am not ashamed of having so because when it triggers, that’s the time I feel like I have superpowers.
And I am now in the process of managing it. It’s quite difficult when you have hoarded and started setting up items to donate for this year and the upcoming year’s activities and events.
I am now on the highest dose of meds for the reason that I have regressed last Christmas break due to the social activities I organized, like always, as a delusional “superwoman”, i just prefer doing things alone.
As part of my “self-therapy”, I know I have to let go of all these items out of my sight to deliver me from evil of buying more.
Yet, have I ever felt bad having this disorder? No and never. Because I was able to help and influence people regardless of their status. May it be thru social services or individual favor.
Today, I joined my daughter’s School Friendship and Market Day. My excessive energy is being tamed for months now. Yet I guess, when it comes to “serving” - my dopamine level can never be defeated by any meds. I am so happy to sell lots of my hoarded items today. The Market Day was scheduled in the afternoon yet you can feel the excitement of everyone to buy immediately, not only the student themselves but including the moms, teachers and staff. Also, the simple backdrop also turned to a fun photo emoji booth (emojis were recycled from my best friend’s son’s birthday). I ended up being photographer in the morning and a salesperson in the afternoon.
I am being guided for months now by whom I call a life coach. I understand my life better now. My “life coach” is also a man of service but for months he kept helping and reminding me to manage my OCD. This behaviour also reflects at work where I am able to perform or achieve things which are not normal to others because I have more time allotted and OCD is just an outlet when my insomnia attacks.
Shall I be able to manage this OCD or not, one thing is for sure - in Leadership, Friendship and Service. I will remain and I will always be.
