12/08/2024
We often think we’re easy to get along with, right? But sometimes our behaviors tell a much different story.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but some of us might be tougher to deal with than we realize. Psychology can open our eyes to this reality in surprising ways, some signs about not an easy going personality
You’re often the center of your conversations:
It’s natural to want to share our experiences and ideas. But there’s a fine line between sharing and dominating a conversation.
If you find yourself frequently monopolizing conversations, it might be a sign that you’re harder to get along with than you realize. But don’t worry, recognizing this is the first step towards improving your interpersonal skills.
You’re quick to pass judgment:
It took a conversation with a close friend for me to realize this about myself. We were discussing a mutual acquaintance and, before I knew it, I was laying out a critical assessment of their recent decisions,My friend turned to me and said, “You know, you can be quite judgmental sometimes.” I was taken aback. I had never considered myself as someone who passes judgment quickly.
Psychology suggests that this trait can make a person difficult to get along with.
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
If you find yourself getting defensive or dismissive when receiving feedback, or if you’re overly critical when giving feedback, it may signal that you’re a challenging person to deal with. This can create an environment where people are hesitant to engage with you out of fear of negative reactions.
Feedback isn’t a personal attack. It’s an opportunity for improvement. Similarly, when giving feedback, it should be constructive and focused on the issue at hand, not the person.
This was a tough one for me to accept. I thought I was an attentive friend and colleague, but one day, someone I trusted pointed out that while I was physically present in conversations, mentally, I was often elsewhere.
Not being fully present when someone is speaking to you can come across as dismissive or uncaring. It’s not enough to just hear the words; good listening involves processing and understanding the message behind them.
Active listening helps us better understand other positions, provides a path to finding common ground; builds trust, rapport, and connections in our communication with others; and increases our chance of being heard ourselves.”
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s the cornerstone of successful relationships and interactions. If you find it hard to put yourself in others’ shoes or struggle to validate their feelings, it can make you difficult to get along with.
Lacking empathy can make someone seem difficult because they might not connect well with others or understand their feelings, leading to strained relationships.
When empathy is absent, people might miss social cues, react insensitively, or struggle to build meaningful connections, making them harder to get along with in social and personal settings.