Dr. Zaymara Esteves

13/07/2025

We don’t talk enough about anger. Too often, it’s viewed as something shameful—something to hide or suppress because it might make you appear out of control, unkind, or less attractive. Many people misinterpret anger—especially when expressed by women—as a sign of being “difficult” or “problematic.” Society frequently equates silence, compliance, and avoidance of conflict with goodness. So when you express anger or stand up for yourself or others, you’re often seen as less desirable—or even as not a good person.

But here’s the real question: Not good for whom?

Anger doesn’t disappear just because you suppress or ignore it. When it’s not acknowledged or expressed in a healthy way, it doesn’t vanish—it turns inward. And that’s where the real damage begins.

Anger has a purpose—an adaptive function. It shows up to protect you. It signals that something is off, unfair, or harmful so you can respond accordingly. Healthy anger can be a powerful force for clarity, boundaries, and change. Denying it only disconnects you from yourself, creating the perfect conditions for resentment and damaged relationships.

So don’t be afraid of your anger. Pay attention to it. Understand it. Use it wisely. When you honor this part of yourself instead of silencing it, you move closer to wholeness—and to a more peaceful, empowered version of yourself.
-Dr. Esteves

28/06/2025

Don't settle for less 🫶

25/03/2025

14/03/2025

Many people struggle to show themselves or others compassion or love. This often stems from childhood, when the adults and caregivers in their lives placed high demands/standards on them, believing that toughness and resilience were necessary for success and survival. However, in doing so, these caregivers unintentionally sent a harmful message—that love and worth must be earned, rather than being inherent. As a result, these children grew into adults who now find it difficult to extend themselves the kindness, forgiveness, and compassion they so freely give to others. The weight of this emotional burden can be overwhelming, often taking a serious toll on their mental health for years, even a lifetime. It’s heartbreaking.

When I encounter patients who struggle with self-compassion and forgiveness, I often ask them to imagine their own children, a beloved family member, or even a cherished pet.

“If everything that happened to you happened to someone you love—a child, a close friend, or anyone dear to you—and they came to you feeling ashamed, unworthy, or guilty, what would you say to them? How would you comfort them? What would you do to make them feel accepted, supported, and loved?”

This is when something extraordinary happens. They realize that they already know how to love unconditionally—because they do it every day. They love children who can give them nothing in return, pets who rely on them completely, and friends who don’t have to prove their worth to be cherished. And in that moment, they recognize that the same love, the same compassion, belongs to them as well.

That my friends is unconditional love. Be sure that you teach this to the young ones around you, including your wounded younger self.

12/03/2025

A kind reminder ☺️

06/03/2025

It is important to understand that some of the people you miss right now or feel worried about are making conscious and intentional decisions to:

- Not call
- Not reach out
- Not think
- Not care
- Not engage in conversations that would change everything

You may think that people do these things out of anger or to punish you. However, more often than not, people are simply caught up in their own narratives and dramas to truly think or care about you, even if they claim to love you.

The truth is that people do exactly what they want to do.

While this reality can be sad at times, it’s important to remember that people have every right to do whatever they choose with their lives. This includes not choosing you or even not choosing what is best for themselves.

Once you make peace with this, you will begin to see their choices more clearly and realize a wonderful thing-as they have the right to choose, you also have the right (and the responsibility) to decide what to do with your life.

Understanding where you stand in someone’s life—however disappointing—allows you to stop waiting, stop questioning, and start investing your energy where it is valued and reciprocated.

Don't dwell on the things that people are consciously choosing to do (or not to do). You deserve to choose yourself, detach and consciously decide to heal, grow, and move on.

27/02/2025

☝️How can you tell the difference?

21/02/2025

Some people take longer to understand that, regardless of how difficult their past may have been, no one is coming to fix it. The past cannot be changed, which can evoke feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, and grief—emotions that are entirely valid. However, amidst these feelings, it's important to recognize that you have the power to create something new for your future. While you may not have had control over your circumstances in the past, this moment is yours. It's up to you to shape your future and determine how you want to feel about it moving forward.

19/02/2025

Sometimes, taking a deep breath and reflecting on how far we've come reveals the fortune of our journey. Often, those so-called “failures” or past mistakes redirect us to much better destinations. Trust the process, take a moment to embrace your growth, and remember: you are doing amazing!

15/02/2025

It’s not surprising that we often find ourselves repeating the same patterns in relationships, encountering the same type of person repeatedly—someone who seems funny, charming, and appealing on the outside. This leads us to believe, “This is the one,” because the chemistry feels incredible. However, after a few months (or even years), we may realize that we overlooked several red flags early on simply because we desperately wanted this person to be “the right one” or “the one I deserve.” This idealization often exists only in our minds, preventing us from experiencing a real, genuine, and worthy connection—the love story we truly seek.
While we manage to succeed in many areas of life, finding “the right one” seems elusive. Take a moment to reflect on why you keep encountering the same type of relationships with different people. You might discover that many of these individuals are not ready for a relationship, are grieving past connections, want to be rescued, or have unrealistic expectations of love—much like you may do.
Why do we often try to change people who don’t want to change, aren’t ready, or simply don’t know how? Why do we think it’s our job to shape them into the ideal partner we desire? The harsh truth is that this often stems from our unwillingness to work on ourselves. Yes, you got it right, avoidance. We fail to recognize that change must start within us. We convince ourselves that we’ve learned our lessons while continuing on the same path of shame and guilt, which keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns.
The right person is not waiting for any of us. We need to make a conscious choice about whether we want to make a relationship work. It’s really that simple. This realization can only occur when we do the necessary internal work and become honest with ourselves.
Just like any patient who comes to my office with different circumstances, those who are genuinely tired of their issues and their own suffering are the ones who benefit and see change. Because they want to change! Ultimately, it comes down to a personal choice. So, cheers to you! Keep having fun and trying! Who knows? Maybe the next person you meet will be the right one, right? ✌️

14/02/2025

Las relaciones todas—familiares, de amistad, profesionales, comunitarias y más aún las de pareja—solo “funcionan” cuando ambas partes se ven, se reconocen, se valoran, SE PERDONAN y pueden seguir adaptándose a través del tiempo. Para algunos una “relación que funciona” es aquella que se sostiene más que nada en sentirse seguros. Una relación donde las partes se sienten seguras permite expresar deseos, sentimientos, necesidades y preocupaciones con la certeza de que no serán usados en contra como herramientas de manipulación, castigo o ventaja.

Para ti, ¿qué define una “relación que funciona”?

13/02/2025

Are you ready to invest in your relationship, yourself, or your healing journey? It’s important to address first your healing needs to avoid facing the same challenges over and over again with different relationships. If you are tired of romanticizing relationships and idealizing people who can't meet your needs, you better start choosing consciously and not from your wounds. Seek a person who truly values you, someone with whom you can evolve, and grow, and why not? Heal together. You deserve to be loved and cared for completely, every single day. Embrace the journey of growth and choose nothing less than what you deserve! You got this! It's time 🫶