18/02/2025
“I was in the middle before I knew I had begun” ~ Jane Austen
It’s funny, because I’ve always built things up in my head, put new ideas on a pedestal, daydreamed about what the first day of starting would feel like, waited till everything was perfect before I executed, so that the moment of beginning would then be “perfect.” I’ve always done so much preparation, that for the most part, it’s stopped me from even starting.
And now I’ve started something, but I can’t quite put my finger on the moment it started and it seems I’m already in the middle of it.
I can’t quite put my finger on the moment I fell in love with my husband, but before I knew it, I was in love and very much in the middle of a life that we’d now do together.
I can’t quite put my finger on the moment I became a mother, you’d think it was when I gave birth, but I’ll tell you, it wasn’t. It was months down the line.. or maybe the moment my baby was conceived.
What I’m trying to say is, beginnings are not tangible. Neither are endings. We have no idea when it will be the “last time” we did x y z
When you’re not anticipating beginnings and endings, you are present, and then you wake up one day rather astounded by where you are, what you’ve done, and who you’re with.