08/07/2025
WHY NPD IS SO DAMAGING - When you mirror the narcissist's energy, you disarm them. They've never had anyone quietly outwit them by handing them back what they send out.
Try these tricks and watch the narcissist crumble in front of you.
First, return the grey rock back to them. The grey rock means emotional flatness. Are they cold and unconcerned, especially when you need their empathy and support?
Switch from neediness to neutral as well. The moment you see them shrug their shoulders and disappear into their small world as you crave their support, pause, and change.
Stop needing them. Find support elsewhere or do what you can by yourself.
They act like they can't stop by the store and bring groceries, or keep you waiting until late at night. Adapt and make other meals. Never send them again.
Go to sleep and move forward with your schedule. If they don't see you upset and their actions don't even land on you, they will become visibly disturbed.
If they misuse your car and bring it home unwashed and on an empty tank, say nothing. Just install cut-outs and never give it to them again.
If they try driving it away and it can't start, don't help them. Let them follow you around begging. Respond with a dry and straightforward 'no.'
That's precisely what they asked for, and it's what they get.
If they hide the car or gate keys on the day of your essential interview to sabotage the opportunity, think fast and jump into a taxi instead.
Do not return even if they claim to have found the keys while you're on your way.
Do not update them about the outcome or even how your day goes. Once they start disrespecting you, cut off all emotional closeness.
If they stay out late without communication, go to bed and close the doors. Do not jeopardise the safety of kids or yourself because of them.
Don't even be in a hurry to open when they return at midnight. Let them knock and wait for a couple of hours.
They'll send you hundreds of messages throughout the day, the next day. Don't read them.
If they go on a hunger strike or bring their own food, comment on nothing.
If they convene a family meeting to complain or they bring in spiritual leaders, simply table printouts of their foul messages, audio recordings of their rantings, and screenshots of their abuse.
Say very little and let people make their own conclusions from the evidence.
The narcissist didn't know you had this incriminating evidence, and they'll never dare you again.
They may accuse you of being a narcissist the moment you give them a taste of their indifference and selfish ways. Take it as confirmation that they know exactly what they're doing.
They even know the term for their pathology.
You'll know how weak the narcissist is when you apply emotional detachment and they begin to crumble.
You can survive without them, but they can't survive without you. They need an emotional response to feel powerful. You don't need any outward response.
You can exist in solitude while they can't. You don't need to dominate anyone to feel strong. They must control and harass people to derive a sense of importance.
If they pack their clothes and leave, thinking they'll stroll back four days later like they always do, shut the door. Deny them access and slap them with divorce papers instead.
If they move out of the bedroom, escalate the issue yourself and refuse any physical contact until it is properly addressed.
If the narcissist can't control you, they will avoid you. They never wanted an emotionally strong person. They wanted a victim they could toss back and forth.
In short, narcissists have no mercy or empathy either for you or the kids.
They give the kids zero attention, but when you threaten to leave, they fight for custody. They only want control, not cooperation or connection.
They are very empty and vain humans. The sooner you can frustrate them so they leave you alone, the better.
(ÂĐïļ Benjamin-Therapist)
