Oleksiy Vinohradov

17/02/2025

I have written an article on a comprehensive approach to working with groups that simultaneously integrates three perspectives:

Working with participants’ inner phenomenology
Working with relationships (relational approach)
Working from the field paradigm

Considering, using, and shifting between these three perspectives allows for a more multidimensional view of group processes. It also opens up broader possibilities for recognizing non-obvious dynamics and interconnections within the group.
The article is structured to demonstrate the interconnection between these three perspectives through concrete examples of group work.

Contents:
Key tasks of a Gestalt group leader
The idea of holism in group work
Three perspectives in group facilitation
Working with inner phenomenology
Working from the relational perspective
Working from the field perspective
Is the field different for each person, or is it a shared dimension in a given situation?
Conclusion

📌 Link to the article

Working with a psychotherapeutic group in the Gestalt approach is an extensive and complex domain that integrates a solid theoretical foundation and rich practical applications.  

10/01/2025

Psychotherapy is long because it works with attachment.

Imagine waves. They have amplitude and wavelength.
Amplitude is the height of the peaks and the depth of the troughs. If you’re riding waves with a large amplitude, you’re in for a wild and bumpy ride. Wavelength, on the other hand, is the distance between two consecutive peaks. If the wavelength is long, you can ride even large waves comfortably, as they rise and fall more gradually.

In a storm, with large waves crashing one after another, it’s a rough experience. But if the storm calms and the boat gently rises on a large wave and then smoothly descends, it becomes an inspiring sight.

Human behavior is much like waves, following patterns — repeating ways of interacting with the world. For example, cycles of admiration followed by devaluation, hard work followed by exhaustion, or denial giving way to acceptance. These patterns, like waves, can have high or low amplitudes and different lengths.

Why does psychotherapy take so long?

One of the reasons lies in the fact that our attachment patterns are the longest waves of our psyche. Successful therapy can quickly address certain behaviors — like quitting smoking, stopping tardiness, or adopting new habits. But relationships, which are deeply rooted in attachment patterns, cannot change quickly. The way we form relationships stems from how our attachment develops.

Attachment is shaped by childhood experiences. For example imagine a family where a child is subjected to high expectations, harsh punishment, humiliation, and a lack of love, but is forced to maintain a facade of harmony in public.

A client from such a family might diligently attend therapy, work hard, and show excellent progress. Only a year later may it become clear that he did this out of fear of the therapist's judgment. Yet, only after a year of work might it become apparent that he doing this out of fear of the therapist's judgment. In reality, the client doesn’t trust the therapist, even though his behavior suggests otherwise. This is because, in his experience, relationships function this way.

Why can’t this be resolved quickly?

Even if the therapist is highly qualified and notices this pattern early on, saying something like, "It seems you’re trying very hard, but deep down, perhaps you don’t trust me," these words might be perceived as criticism or an attack. The client will become defensive and try even harder to convince the therapist of the sincerity of their intentions. This happens because trust has not yet been established, and there is no therapeutic alliance strong enough for such candid conversations.

Only when the client fully exhibits his pattern, "rides his wave," will he truly be able to see it. At that point, the therapist's interventions will then not be mere assumptions, but descriptions of the phenomenology of the manifested relationship.

For instance, the therapist might say:
"At the beginning of our work, you always arrived on time and said the therapy was very helpful. Recently, you’ve been arriving late, and it seems you’re less satisfied with our work. What’s changed?".

Such an observation might help the client realize that, alongside positive feelings toward the therapist, he also harbors dissatisfaction. If enough trust has been established, the client might express that dissatisfaction, even anger, and see that he won’t be punished for doing so. This could mark the beginning of changing his habitual, retroflective attachment patterns.

This process is only possible in long-term therapy.
In short-term therapy, the client simply doesn’t have enough time to unfold their inner processes. It would be a mistake to assume that a client’s initial attitude toward the therapist tells the whole story. That’s just the beginning — the ribbon-wrapped front door to deeper, dramatic inner experiences.

24/03/2023

There is one very apt, though the not exhaustive, definition of what trauma is.

Psychological trauma is a fixed experience.

When we remember something, we don't just reproduce recorded information (like a computer), we construct our memories.
This is not a passive reading of information, but an active creation of a story based on memories.

Every time we remember an event from life, this new memory is different from the last one. How we recall the same memory is influenced by many factors - our current mood, our values (which sometimes change), the context in which the memory is recalled, the opinion of important people about the memory, etc. And then we remember our new memory, not the original story.

Thus, remembering the same thing many times, it may turn out that the memory has changed quite a lot over the years. It also happens that non-existent details are added to memories, something is forgotten, and sometimes non-existent memories appear altogether.

And this is a normal healthy process. This is how our memory works. Because memory is based on emotional and sensory connections, not mathematical precision.

But with a traumatic experience, everything is different. A traumatic experience is fixed memories, which are like a dinosaur paw print on a stone - they do not change over time, remaining exactly as they were many years ago. And also (like a dinosaur paw print), these memories show one specific perspective, not giving a complete picture of the situation.

Such a rigid structure of traumatic memories leads to rigid reactions that ignore the context of the situation.

I will give an example.

The child was humiliated, mocked, devalued, and ignored at school. When a person grows up, he has fragmentary memories of this terrible period in his life. How someone stole a backpack, how everyone laughed, how he didn't want to go to school. The bully's red sweater, the smell of the school canteen, the feeling of fear, shame, and anger. The stronger the trauma, the more fragmented the memories.

Such a person will have specific triggers, feeling which he will feel as if he is being attacked and abused. For example, if someone looks directly into his eyes. Or someone raises their voice in communication. Or someone wears a red sweater.

These triggers are usually not aware of. And if the trauma is strong enough, there can be many such triggers.
An important feature of such triggers is that they are not sensitive to the context of the situation.

For example: if a person is wearing a red sweater, he is dangerous. There is no difference here - it is a colleague at work, a plumber, or a stranger walking down a dark passage. And if red sweaters don't happen that often, then more general triggers like "they're paying attention to me, so I'm in danger" can be life-shattering.

Working with trauma is a multifaceted and complex process. One of the facets of this is the restoration of the integrity of the picture of the traumatic experience. This situation can be rethought by understanding the circumstances, the context of the situation, the details, and the role of a person and his environment in a traumatic event.
And thus change a fixed experience into a dynamic experience.

Returning to the previous example - it may turn out that not all classmates bullied the child, but specific 2-3 people. And what was most difficult in this situation was not the bullying itself, but the lack of support from parents and teachers ignoring the situation. And that there were several situations where the child was able to defend himself and after that, the bullying ended. In that case, we are talking about the fact that because of the trauma, the person had a fixed and false idea of his helplessness.

It can be the other way around. It turns out that a few fragmentary memories of bullying are only the tip of the iceberg. Bullying lasted for years, not only at school but also in a family with alcoholic parents. But despite the extremely difficult circumstances of life, a person survived, managed not to lose his mind, and straightened out his life.

In any case, understanding one's own traumatic experience allows a person to free himself from the influence of rigid reactions.

Then the danger will be assessed not by a red sweater, but based on a complex of factors and the context of the situation.

And the "print of a dinosaur's paw" will go to its place - in the museum of memories of the distant past, in the section "terrible monsters that have died a long time ago".

01/03/2023

Investigation of one's own psychosomatic symptoms

A simple rule applies here. If you have a suspicion that you have psychosomatics - then this is a sufficient reason to start investigating yourself.

First, you need to choose the symptom with which you will work - it can be a disease (chronic or acute) or a physical sensation.

And then we act according to the principle "if you want to understand a symptom, become one" 🙂

1. Imagine that your symptom is a separate individual with its own character, desires, and thoughts. Your task is to transform into this person. Play this role. And the expressiveness of acting skills does not matter here - the main thing is to try.
Note that during the experiment you can spontaneously "take off" from the role of the symptom and start speaking for yourself. When you notice this, it is important to return to the role of the symptom.

2. Assume the posture of your symptom.

3. Try to reincarnate into your character completely - so that your posture, voice, timbre, and the words you use change.

4. Tell your story (on behalf of the symptom):
- how was I born?
- how did I develop? what did I strive for?
- how am I doing now? what is the meaning of my existence?
- how does the owner treat me?

5. And now, remaining in the role of symptom - imagine your master opposite you. Look at him and tell him your message.
It is important that this message is short, clear, and useful. How does it sound?

6. Now become yourself again.

What are your feelings now?
How do you feel about the message of your symptom?

Are there any obstacles to putting this message into practice?
Share the story of your symptom and its message in the comments.

28/02/2023

Psychosomatics is a physical symptom that arises as a result of a psychological problem. I see it as a subconscious way to resolve an internal conflict. Moreover, such a conflict is where one of the needs is not realized.

For example, there is a person. Who (like all of us) is trying to cope with this changing and unpredictable life. It makes this life more predictable, stable and safe. He supports loved ones. Does household chores. Working. Takes care of children. Copes with moving, job changes, psychological crises, and other constantly arising circumstances. And he has a million more small and big things.
Do it every day, every week, every month.

Of course, such a person gets very tired. Exhausting. He would like to rest, retreat, and recover.

But there is stress, fear, rational arguments, and childish attitudes. The internal voice says: you have no time. You must continue to cope, fight, control, and overcome. There is no time for rest, and there is no moral right for fatigue.

This is an internal conflict - a struggle between two needs that cannot be realized at the same time. The need to cope and the need to rest. Control versus relaxation. Fear vs. fatigue.
Actually, if you have resources and awareness, you can satisfy these needs one at a time. But resources have run out, and awareness has narrowed.

A person chooses the main need, and the other is suppressed. That is, it becomes subconscious.

However, if we do not realize our need, it does not disappear anywhere. This internal conflict remains, but since one side of the conflict (the need for rest) is not realized, the conflict itself is not realized either.

"Who's tired, me? Other people are going through so much, they're tired. And what's going to happen to me?"

The body comes to the rescue when there is no resource to realize one's inner conflict. It begins to get sick, and such an illness is always a compromise that satisfies an unconscious need. The price of such a compromise is quite high - it is our health.

It is important to note that not all diseases are psychosomatic. Moreover, psychosomatic diseases themselves often have not only psychological, but also physiological causes. Therefore, you should not think that if you have psychosomatics, you do not need to go to the doctor. It is often necessary, but one doctor may not be enough.

So, returning to the subconscious need for rest, in an easy version, you can catch a cold and rest in this way. Yes, I know it's a perverted vacation, but it is what it is. In more difficult situations, the back may start to hurt, or even "rest" will be in the hospital.

Fatigue that cannot be recognized is just one of the many variants of needs that you may not be aware of.

Kick hard to finally let yourself cry
Bend in half at the back, because it is impossible to pull it all further
Having problems with the stomach, because it is difficult to digest it all
To lie down in bed, so that finally someone will feel sorry and take care
To have bad eyesight, because it is impossible to look at it
Etc

And also let's add unexpressed aggression, which is retroflexed (directed at oneself).

The way to solve a psychosomatic problem is the awareness of a hidden need, allowing this need to be along with others needs and finding a new, non-psychosomatic way to satisfy it.

21/10/2022

Usually, clients sign up for psychotherapy when they are "on fire".

The client brought up his problem, which should have been solved yesterday. Difficulties in relationships, low self-esteem, fears and anxieties, traumatic experiences - this is far from a complete list of requests.

Unresolved psychological contradictions create strong internal tension, which often prompts an appointment with a specialist.

When work begins, after a while this internal tension decreases. Either the problem is solved, or a new perspective is coming and it no longer seems so critical. The pain decreases and becomes bearable.

Then, sooner or later, in every therapy there comes a point when the client has no requests. There is no fire to put out right now, and all current problems are more or less under control.

This is a place of emptiness, pause, and stop.
And it's scary.

Usually, clients immediately try to fill this emptiness - they come up with new facade (unnecessary) requests, are interested in the therapist's affairs, worry that the therapy is no longer so effective. Some believe that at this point the therapy ends and complete it.

However, everything is just the opposite - this is where therapy does not end, but begins. On a deeper level.

When a client says that he doesn't know what to talk about, it means to me that we can touch on a topic that he would never choose if he has a specific request. And often we touch on unexpected and very deep topics. Traumas, fears, dreams.

In these cases, I use the free association method. This is a direct path to the subconscious.

I suggest that the client simply voice freely all the thoughts and feelings that come to his mind. This proposal sounds extremely simple, but it is one of the most difficult things that can be done.

In order to freely voice everything that is on your mind, you need, firstly, to be well aware of yourself, and secondly, to turn off internal censorship.
It is the investigation of internal censorship (resistance) that is the place from which you can make amazing and important deep inner discoveries.

I am fascinated by the idea of ​​free association for its enormous therapeutic power.

Each of us has an endless internal dialogue inside. Different voices are constantly saying something, muttering, chatting, emphasizing something, demanding, denying, arguing, proving, telling.
Of course, in this inner wallet, some voices are more clear, correct, pleasant. And there are quieter, inappropriate, unloved, and annoying ones. To strengthen the former and suppress the latter - a huge service of internal censorship works. With offices, statements, court cases, reprimands, and bans.

The ability to associate freely is the ability to be free within oneself. Allow yourself to think about what is being thought about. Hear your inner voices as they are. Endure them. Do not run away from pain, do not be afraid of shame, become aware of forbidden desires, feel ID impulses, your aggression, joy, obsessive fixation, loneliness, addiction. And, by the way, to touch with a careful ray of consciousness one's madness.

Does it sound scary? But this is exactly what makes us spontaneous.
Gives inner freedom. Fills with energy. Makes you feel life in full force.

What does a person do who allows himself to think about what he wants? She tries to do what she wants. Feeling freedom inside, such a person will strive to live free from the outside.

I want to note that we are not talking about turning off the internal censor. First, it is impossible. Secondly, it is dangerous. Of course, if we censor our thoughts and feelings, there are reasons for that that are worth investigating. The task here is not to break, disable or delete something. The task is to be able to realize these deep processes.

You can get much further with a kind word and awareness of one's shadow than you can with a kind word alone 😉

PS In the picture - my free associations mixed with paints

22/05/2022

Obviously, war is a dangerouos situation.

What happens to the human psyche when the sense of security is lost? Being a psychotherapist, and being in Ukraine when the war started, I can describe it very vividly.

You are all tense, like a tauted string. You begin to monitor the slightest signs of danger closely. You are constantly scrolling through the worst-case scenarios in your head, thinking of a plan to avoid them. You are trying to control everything, because you never know where and when the danger will come.

Your sleep is disturbed. Your appetite is disturbed. Your body is constantly tense. You are feeling stressed. And whatever you are doing - there is always a feeling of anxiety.

What happens when you live in such circumstances for a long time?
On one hand, you become more tolerant to danger. It doesn't seem so scary anymore. Therefore, you ignore the danger even when it is obvious.

On the other hand, tension and anxiety do not go away. It is just that you ... cease to be aware of them. You communicate, smile, work, do your routine, but on the inside, you always anxiously wait for something to happen.

If you live in it long enough, it begins to seem that this is how you live normally. Catastrophic scenarios, sleep deprivations and attempts to control everything become just commonplace.

And you know what? I am pretty sure that some of you know what I am talking about, even though you have never been to war.

Unfortunately, the feeling of violating basic security is quite common. It often occurs as a result of traumatic events in childhood. Having experienced physical or psychological violence, bullying, absence of a caregiver adult, the experience of abandonment - this is by no means a complete list of reasons for feeling insecure.

It is important that this traumatic experience is pushed into the subconscious. The psyche either does not remember or devalues it.

An affected person may complain about sleep problems, chronic fatigue, panic attacks, psychosomatic illnesses, mood swings, overcontrolling, predisposition to addictions, and lack of happiness.
They do not even suspect that the reason for this lies in the lack of a sense of basic security.

Is it possible to get rid of these symptoms? Is it possible to restore this sense of security?

The bad news is that it cannot be done quickly. The good news is, yes, this can be changed with psychotherapy.

If you recognize yourself in this post and want to change your life - I invite you to psychotherapy counseling. Write me on WhatsApp +380634404996, and we will discuss the details.

Oleksiy Vinogradov,
Professional psychotherapist with 14 years of experience.

13/05/2022

Hi!

I am a psychotherapist from Ukraine.

Let me tell my story.

I live in Kyiv - the capital of Ukraine. I am quite a professional gestalt-psychotherapist with 14 years of experience of individual and group work. I have a stable practice and I`m also engaged in popularization of psychotherapy by creating videos, webinars and articles. I even have a big group on social media with over 200 000 people, who are interested in gestalt-therapy.

I also have a great wife (by the way, she is a psychotherapist too) and 2 lovely kids. I have many hobbies. I play drums in a rock band, I play LARP and draw fluorescent pictures.

As you can see, I live a stable, prosperous and interesting life.

But "live" is a wrong word. "Lived" is the right one.

I led this lovely life till 24 February 2022, when Russia began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine.

I went through things I never thought I would experience. I saw a missile exploding in my city. I hid in a bomb shelter with my family. Stood in a long line in the store to buy leftovers. And I'm sure I'm lucky - because nothing really terrible happened with me and my family.

After 10 days of living in Kyiv, we went to the city in western part of Ukraine. It's safe there (as much as it’s possible in Ukraine). After two weeks of recovery from stress, I started to do what all Ukrainians who are not on the front line do - to volunteer.

I'm a psychotherapist, so I do what I can do well. I organized individual and group free support for people affected by the war. I conduct webinars on how to overcome the psychological consequences of war. And sometimes I raise money for volunteers who help the front.

As you can see, my psychotherapeutic practice has changed dramatically. Just like my whole life. Some of my past clients do not have the opportunity to go to psychotherapy for various reasons. I work with some for free or with a big discount. Fortunately, there are those clients (mostly foreign) with whom I work under normal conditions.

Despite such life changes, I feel stable. Paradoxically, all these events made me stronger and more confident. Despite volunteering, I have time for regular psychotherapeutic activities. And I’m planning to take on new clients.

And you know what? Even before the war, I had a dream.

I wanted to start a permanent psychotherapeutic practice in English.

I love my profession because there is an opportunity to understand the subtle emotional experiences of different people. This gives you a chance to get in touch with the greatest treasure of every person - their story. Their experience. Their soul.

Being able to work in English will allow me to reach even more different people. And help them find emotional comfort and joy of life.

So, working in English was a very ambitious dream for me. Like becoming an astronaut or receiving a Nobel Prize. At least I took it that way :)

And I thought - maybe someday, in the distant future, it will come true. When I know English better, when I have more courage, when I correct my accent...

But the war calls for adjustments. So, no more postponing my dream for tomorrow!

I invite you for individual psychotherapy just right now. In English :)

Write me a private message, and we`ll discuss the details.

And I`ll be very grateful if you share my story. Because, maybe someone wants a psychotherapist like me, and you will help them to find me.

And also you`ll bring me closer to my dream!

13/05/2022

Wright me to Whatsapp

13/05/2022