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Top One-line Fishing Jokesice fishing jokesLet's warm up with one-liners that are also safe for children.Why did the fis...
23/09/2022

Top One-line Fishing Jokes
ice fishing jokes
Let's warm up with one-liners that are also safe for children.

Why did the fisherman put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Damn!
Don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about the coronavirus. He never catches anything!
What do you say to a fisherman on his birthday? Hope you have a reely good day!
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for the whole day. Teach a man to fish, and you'll get rid of him for the whole weekend!
fishing jokes for kids
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish. Unless, of course, you play bass!
What do you call bad bait? A fail-lure!
I became a professional fisherman but discovered I couldn't live on my net income!
Why did the fisherman hang up on his boss? Because he had something on the other line!
Sorry, I told those bad fishing jokes. I feel gill-ty!

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fis...
23/09/2022

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”

What is the fastest fish in the water?
A motopike.

What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.
Three men and a baby.

I caught a trout so big, the picture of it was three pounds. The negative was a pound. We went into the lake to eat it rather than bring it home.
Why did the husband go fishing on Valentine’s Day?
To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders!

What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy!

Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms!

Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
He had only two worms.

Reel-y Funny Fishing JokesWhy are fish so smart?Because they swim in schools!One day, two guys Frank, and Bob, were out ...
23/09/2022

Reel-y Funny Fishing Jokes
Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools!

One day, two guys Frank, and Bob, were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Frank said, “Gee, Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”

What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big-mouthed bass!

Why did the Vegan go fishing?
Just for the halibut.

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q.”
So, the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” And sure enough, the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q. and the mermaid said, “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “Yes” So, the mermaid turned him into a woman.

Why are fish so gullible?
They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales!

Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The bobber shop.

RELATED: 100+ Nature Jokes That Will Put A Tree-mendous Smile On Your Face
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.”

Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet.[1]They can run as ...
19/09/2022

Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet.[1]
They can run as fast as 35 miles an hour over short distances, or cruise at 10 mph over longer distances.[2]
A giraffe's neck is too short to reach the ground. As a result, it has to awkwardly spread its front legs or kneel to reach the ground for a drink of water.[3]
Giraffes only need to drink once every few days. Most of their water comes from all the plants they eat.[4]
Giraffes spend most of their lives standing up; they even sleep and give birth standing up.[5]
The giraffe calf can stand up and walk after about an hour and within a week, it starts to sample vegetation.[6]
Despite the females’ attempts to stand over their calves during attacks by lions, spotted hyenas, leopards and African wild dogs (4), many calves are killed in their first few months.[7]
A giraffe’s spots are much like human fingerprints. No two individual giraffes have exactly the same pattern.[8]
Both male and female giraffes have two distinct, hair-covered horns called ossicones. Male giraffes use their horns to sometimes fight with other males.[9]
Giraffes only need 5 to 30 minutes of sleep in a 24-hour period! They often achieve that in quick naps that may last only a minute or two at a time.[10]
Whilst it was thought that giraffes did not make any sounds, this is now known to be untrue, as giraffes bellow, snort, hiss and make flute-like sounds, as well as low pitch noises beyond the range of human hearing

Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet. They can run as fa...
19/09/2022

Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet. They can run as fast as 35 miles an hour over short distances, or cruise at 10 mph over longer distances. A giraffe's neck is too short to reach the ground.

Pomegranate juice provides a good source of potassium, an important electrolyte for healthy muscle function,” Moon says....
17/09/2022

Pomegranate juice provides a good source of potassium, an important electrolyte for healthy muscle function,” Moon says. Potassium is also necessary for healthy nerve function and regulation of heart rate.

The juice provides nearly 533 mg of potassium per cup, while the arils provide 205 milligrams of potassium per half-cup serving.

8. They may help improve kidney health.
Kidney stones, which are like small rocks that can form in our kidneys, occur in around 11% of men and 6% of women in the U.S. If left untreated, they can cause blood in the urine, severe pain and severe kidney complications.

One study supports pomegranates as allies in kidney stone prevention and management thanks to the antioxidant dietary phytophenols, which were found to be effective for the prevention of forming stones.

Since inflammation is a common marker in heart disease, it makes sense that pomegranates are associated with improved he...
17/09/2022

Since inflammation is a common marker in heart disease, it makes sense that pomegranates are associated with improved heart health. In fact, research shows pomegranate juice consumption may help lower blood pressure.

Lorencz says pomegranates and pomegranate juice may offer protective effects for those with heart disease: “In one clinical trial, heart patients who drank one cup of pomegranate juice daily experienced significantly reduced intensity, occurrence and duration of chest pain compared to the placebo group.” And there is evidence supporting consumption of fruits high in polyphenols, including pomegranates, may be helpful in controlling heart disease.

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