03/01/2026
The traditional spiritual man’s daughter.
In the year 2014, when the country was already collapsing under crisis civilian targeting one another in brutal killing and chaos, we reshuffle to the village and I decided to add my own personal apocalypse: I fell in love. Not just with any girl, but with a goddess so radiant she could blind the sun itself. My only mistake? She wasn’t just beautiful, she was the freshly imported daughter of a traditional spiritual man. Yes, a man whose handshake feels like a military coup and whose stare could demote you from human to fly in zero minutes flat.
To make matters worse, she was crushing on me too. Destiny clearly wanted me dead.
One of my ancestors whispered the cursed words: “son, that’s the spiritual man’s daughter and we can't win him.” I swear my soul left my body, packed its bags, and booked a one-way ticket to safety. But the lady? Oh no, she was persistent. She hunted down all my ways like a CIA agent on a mission.
Then came the night that changed everything. I saw the spiritual man himself beating another poor soul who had dared to flirt with his first daughter. The man’s life was dangling like a cheap Christmas ornament on a dry tree. That was my wake-up call.
I sprinted to church next to our residential village at 10 a.m., collapsed on my knees, and begged the pastor to let me confess. I confessed sins I didn’t even commit. I confessed sins from the 1990s, sins from my neighbors, sins from Adam and Eve, just to be safe.
I fasted for 40 days and 40 nights like a biblical marathon runner. I became the church’s unpaid intern, sweeping floors, singing hymns, and polishing pews until my fingerprints were holy.
From that time update to date, I swore off women entirely. If a lady asked me for directions, I ran like Usain Bolt powered by fear. I changed my number, sold my phone, deleted Facebook, and was one step away from applying for witness protection.
Because let me tell you: this gender called female? Fear them. Fear them every two minutes of every hour. Fear them like rent day. Fear them like exam results. Fear them like the General’s belt.
Life is yours, but survival requires one golden rule: fear women before they fear you.
fiction
✍️ kuarmuøn 👑✊✨✍️