09/22/2024
Norman Fischer
PRACTICING WITH ANGER
Let’s see if we can reduce practicing with anger to a few more or less clear, if provisional, steps:
1. Think about anger
2. Just notice.
3. Say to yourself, “This is anger. This is what it feels like. It’s just like this.
4. After the anger moment has passed, take time to investigate it.
5. Practice the ninth bodhisattva precept: I vow to practice love, not to harbor ill will.
Step 1 (of 5) Think about anger. Intelligent reflection matters. Read books about anger, listen to talks, journal, talk with friends. Become as clear as you can about what anger is, how it appears in you, how it hurts you, and how it helps you. Bring all this reflection to bear as you practice the second step, in the moment of actually being angry.
Step 2 (of 5) Just notice. That is, before you rush into blame and foolhardy words and deeds, notice the actual phenomenon of anger. How does it feel? Train yourself through repetition to immediately bring attention to your body in the moment of anger. Be with your breathing. Be with your heartbeat. If you don’t remember to do this until after the moment of anger, do it then. Little by little you will learn to do it in the moment.
Step 3 (of 5) Say to yourself, “This is anger. This is what it feels like. It’s just like this.” When you do this, you are slowing things down, gently embracing your condition, neither pushing it away nor getting hooked into it. If you get angry in a moment of intense interaction with another person, train yourself to ask for a pause. You might say something such as, “Hold on for a minute. Let me get a grip on myself.” Resist the impulse to immediately shoot back with aggression.
To be continued. . .