01/05/2026
Emma Heming Willis wrote something every caregiver needs to read as we move into the new year.
"Dementia doesn't erase those memories. But it does create space between then and now. And that space can ache."
Emma shares her experience caring for Bruce, who has frontotemporal dementia (FTD), and how the holidays have changed for their family.
Bruce was the pancake-maker, the one who led the holiday charge. Now Emma makes the pancakes. The traditions look different, but they're still there.
Her message resonates deeply with what I write about in my book, "Solace in the Storm, Caring for Loved Ones of Every Generation:
Sometimes denying that emotion or reaction is doubly exhausting because you're experiencing it while denying it at the same time. Know that you're allowed to feel what you're feeling.
Emma calls it "both/and thinking" and I love this rephrasing!
You can grieve what the holidays used to be AND make room for new traditions. You can hold the ache of loss AND the gratitude that you're still together. BOTH can be true at the same time.
If you made it through the holidays as a , take a breath. Whether it went smoothly or was harder than you expected does not matter right now.
And if you're facing New Year's Eve and feeling the weight of another year ahead, I hope you realize,
💙 You're not failing if things looked different this year. You're adapting.
💙 You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you chose to celebrate.
💙 Grief is not a sign of ingratitude. It's a sign of love.
💙 Joy doesn't have to be loud to be real.
The holidays don't disappear when enters your life. They change. And acknowledging how hard that change is doesn't make you ungrateful; it makes you honest.
Link to read Emma's full piece in the comments. Or reply, "blog" and I'll DM you the link.
To every caregiver, as we close out this year: you're not alone in this storm. 💙
Dr. Merle Griff
