Hands with Heart, LLC

10/09/2025

Hey folks - HOPE 4 SWEETIE has another fundraiser board & it is being filled! This awesome Pedal Tractor has been donated by Terry Brown 's family & could be yours for just $20.

$20/chance - only 25 chances being sold. Get your name on the board - let us know you can meet up with cash or Venmo Me - just send a PM & we will coordinate! As soon as the board is full - we will draw. Wishing you all luck!

30/08/2025

Another adorable duck found it's way to my door today at the Antigo Farmer's Market ♥️

20/08/2025

This is such a difficult concept, & yet so important for us to understand... especially as our lived ones are nearing the end of their lives...

I was walking down the aisle of a grocery store when I heard a little girl say to her mother, “you know mom, if I don’t eat for three days, I will die.”

I wanted to walk over and let that little girl know that she was wrong. I want everyone who thinks this to know that is wrong. To be fair, maybe some people have died from not eating for a few days but from my experience at the bedside of people who are dying, it has helped me to understand that the body can go a very long time without food. The longest I have witnessed is 19 days. This woman was non-responsive, in a coma-like state, no medications, and from my perspective did not appear to be suffering physically.

I truly believe that the body does not need to have food and water at the end of life. I think food and water can often disrupt the dying process, causing physical discomfort and often suffering.

Most people equate food and water to love, especially when they have been providing this for many years. Family members and caregivers want to push food and water, hoping it will strengthen their person, and make them feel better. But I don’t think it does.

When we are aging, and dying, our throats tend to close and our ability to swallow is reduced, causing people to aspirate/choke, which increases their fear. Sometimes they can tell you verbally that they don’t want food, or they can let you know by shaking their head “no,” closing their mouth when they are being fed, pocketing it in their cheeks, or spitting it out. Listen to them, they are trying to tell you they do not want it. Our role is to honor and respect that.

When we are at the end of our life and dying, our bodies do not benefit from food and water the way a strong and healthy body does. It doesn’t need it, and it doesn’t want it. They will not die faster because they are not eating, and they will not die from starvation or dehydration. They are already dying from the diagnosis and disease process. Not forcing food and water at this time is actually incredibly kind and compassionate.

You are not hurting them, you are giving their body the peace and comfort it needs to go through the dying process however that will look for them uniquely, which can sometimes be many days. Trust that the body knows what to do, and sometimes it lets go quickly and other times longer, but you aren’t hurting them, please trust me on that.

What someone needs when they are dying is physical comfort, to be kept clean, and to be provided with dignity and respect. All human beings deserve this.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

I have written nine books, each with the intention of providing tips and tools for anyone providing end-of-life care. You can find them all on my author page: https://www.amazon.com/.../Gabrielle.../author/B0CPFTDCKT?

Find this blog here:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/post/food-and-water-at-the-end-of-life

30/06/2025

Farewell to a horse man with strong ties to Antigo... my condolences to his family - the world has lost a great man! His words are so true!

24/06/2025

This should be hung in every dementia care home and in hospitals where there are patients with dementia.

If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things:

1. Every time you enter the room announce yourself.

“Hi Mom- it’s Hal.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.

2. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.

3. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.

4. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.

5. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.

6. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.

7. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

8. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.

9. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.

10. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

11. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.

12. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

13. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.

14. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

15. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.

16. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.

17. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

18. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

19. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

20. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.

21. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

22. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.